Grade skipping?

Janelle - posted on 01/08/2009 ( 37 moms have responded )

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I have a third grade son who was identified as gifted as a first grader. He is now in the third grade. He working at least 1-2 years above grade level and complains about being bored at school. We have considered skipping 4th grade next year, but since he is a younger child (bday in April) that concerns me. We are going to start compacting his math curriculum and he already is in a reading group at his reading level. Has anyone out there tried any of these and what was the result? I should also add that he has a generalized anxiety disorder. Any ideas or suggestions would be really appreciated.

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Amae - posted on 02/17/2013

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We have twin boys that are now in 4th grade. They are April babies too. When they were in kinder, their teachers struggled to keep them challenged. They were going to 2nd grade for reading and math in kinder. At the end of their kinder year the teachers suggested skipping 1st grade. We did, my kids are almost a year and half younger and they don't have tall parents so they will always be the smallest but they have really been challenged at school. For 3rd grade they were tested into a Gifted Program and have completed the gifted 3rd grade program and they are in the 4th grade Gifted Program. There are some social issues to deal with and some fine motor skills they struggled with this year but overall they are doing great. They are challenged, enjoy school and have had to learn to make an effort in everything they do. The biggest thing we, as parents, had to struggle with is to be okay with them not getting perfect grades. They use to get perfect grades without trying, now they have to put effort into what they do in order to get perfect grades, which I think is a far better lesson. To combat the social issues, we've made sure they have friends that are their age, and they participate in sports and extra-curricular activities with kids their actual age. That way they get a mix of peers that match them academically at school and peers that match them socially in other activities.

Katie - posted on 01/06/2014

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I have 2 children. ..lily 8yrs, grade 3, and Marisa 25yrs (just) and is a registered Nurse.....both my children skipped grades Marisa kindergarten and grade 2 ...and my Lily will leave grade 3 and start grade 4 tomorrow.....
It is and was the best decision we ever made....socialization for us was very easy as the schools were low enrollment. ...we even put both in a french language school to help slow them down... ( it didn't and isn't working, they both just excelled in 2 languages)
I feared for my 16 year's old going off to university all alone so young...but I was given good advice....build strong self worth and esteem, talk about real issues and how to handle them, I spent most of My oldests high school years building leadership qualities. These leadership qualities (4H, provincial ambassador prog) all helped Marisa to be safe and make good choices in University. ..
As for my little Lily she will start 4th grade in 2 hours....and I fear not....
I expect at least another grade skip soon....
I am a special ed teacher specialized in autism....it's not really that different. .."train" your children to make wise decisions. Reward and discuss proper good choices...discuss without to much opinion others bad choices....
These brilliant minds are being stiffled by educational bureaucracy to keep all the kids together of the same age...keep them the same...don't make them different! !! I call bully on that....rejoice in the difference, allow them to be who and ehat they were ment to be...if we were all ment to be the same what a boring world....
My Lily will succeed because she wants to...she knows she is smarter than most. I can't imagine caging my children and not allowing them to reach their full potential. ...I work so hard every day just to help children gain skills and some potential for a gainful, accepted life in our society, to be accepted.
I think why when I push so hard for some children...would I stiffle my own...

My oldest will be a nurse practitioner in the spring...and the Americans scooped her right out of university. ...she is loving life...because she loves herself, her family and her community...

I ask marisa if she regrets it? If she is to young..did she suffer? Miss out?
She told me absolutely not...she has built better and stronger adult relationships because of it...
I REALLY advocate to never ever ever stiffle a brilliant mind...

Tina - posted on 04/06/2011

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I can speak a bit from experience on this, having been a child who was advanced a grade. If I were you, I wouldn't do it at this late stage. I entered kindergarten at 4 1/2 (January birthday) and finished high school at 17 1/2. I was also in a full-time gifted ed program in the public schools and still outscored all my peers, even in the gifted class, and graduated at the top of my h.s. class, despite being a full year younger than most. It was definitely the right move by my parents to realize that not only did I need gifted ed but I also needed to start kindergarten at age four. I feel really fortunate. (Oh, and I was also one of the two tallest girls in my grade throughout elementary school - 5'10" by age 14 1/2. I was reasonably athletic and could always keep up physically with all the kids a year older than I. I actually can't imagine how huge I would have seemed in my "regular" grade. Everybody always assumed I was a good one or two years older than my actual age.)



Most psychologists who work with gifted kids (Ruff, and others) note a huge difference between early entry (what I did) and skipping a grade. Grade skipping is usually not nearly as successful for the child as early entrance. No matter how smart the child is, some material will be skipped, and the child has to play catch-up, sometimes making him start to second-guess his abilities (though sometimes not). The biggest downside is social, though. It's kind of like moving to a new school, but then again not, because all your old friends know that you "left them" to skip a grade. There is a stigma attached to that, and the children in the new grade will not necessarily be fully accepting of the child as a newcomer and being younger than they. After all, some of them might have "little brothers" the same age as the child who skipped a grade. These kinds of social pitfalls are generally avoided by early entrants into kindergarten. My biggest complaint was that I didn't get my driver's license until midway through my junior year of high school and always had to bum rides off my friends (pretty minor inconvenience in hindsight). :)



In a situation like yours, I would really look for a combo class where your child could be in the 4th grade of a 4th/5th combo class if they offer them in your school/district. If not, I would probably just supplement like crazy at home and sign him up for other activities where he can advance at his own pace and be with other gifted kids. I think the social downside of skipping is just too great to consider it past first grade (skipping from K to 2nd), personally. I knew two girls in my same full-time gifted program who skipped second grade and graduated a year ahead of my class. Neither of them placed at the very top of their graduating class, either, despite having been in the gifted program, though they both did well. I've often wondered if they might not have done better academically and socially if they had just stayed put. Hard to say, but if they were so off-the-charts gifted that even their own grade's gifted ed program wasn't sufficient, then I guess I would have expected them to graduate at the top of their new class like I did.

Michelle - posted on 02/10/2013

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I was Leary of skipping my gifted son until I did the research and found keeping them stifled is more harmful- curriculum compacting is actually the best way to educate a gifted student.
I decided to switch my son to an online school, because it was the only access we have to compacting, and when he took their placement test they recommended skipping him from 4th to 5th grade and he is currently maintaining straight A+s
I have regretted not finding a way to do early enrollment for years but I feel like I finally found the solution- he was moved up and will move at his own pace now instead of waiting for everyone to catch up

Janelle - posted on 04/08/2011

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Wow, so many great posts! I thought I would give a quick update on my son. We opted NOT to skip a grade, still not sure if that was a good/bad choice after struggling through a what can only be considered a horrific 4th grade year. He had a teacher who was only concerned about test scores and didn't allow the students to participate in community activities that the school was invited to during the school day (ie,Veteran's Day Celebations, Music Presentations....). Now I can happily say he is a 5th grader and absolutely LOVES school! This is a first since he started school at3 years of age. He is in a rotation that teaches at a faster pace, and the anxiety is almost non-existant....even by his own description! He is taking risks in the classroom and has become a leader, although not sure which way he is leading sometimes...LOL...which sometimes his teachers don't always find humorous, but they understand that this a positive step for him and use it as skills to build off of rather than punish him for it! It is nice for once to know things are finally heading in the right direction.

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Rachael - posted on 03/01/2013

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Skipping grades leads to isolation and social issues. Being the smartest in the class is isolating enough, but being the least mature, especially in middle and high school, is especially difficult. I have known a couple of grade-skippers who acted out in an effort to seem more mature by their classmates, ultimately being depressed, drug users, or college dropouts. My own parents were given the option of skipping me to fifth grade out of kindergarten and I thank goodness that they kept me with my grade, even though I was bored until at least 6th grade. I had enough trouble assimilating with my classmates as one of the oldest because I was the smartest. Find things for your son to do as extracurriculars. They make good resume builders for future college applications and they will be something he looks forward to at the end of the day.

As a side-note, my husband and I both went to MIT, which has a policy that they rarely accept kids who skipped grades because they are not mature enough to handle the social and emotional pressures and I completely agree with the policy. Many top-rated schools have similar policies.

Madame - posted on 02/19/2013

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No matter how intellectually advanced a child is, the social emotional aspect doesn't change, so I'd recommend keeping in their current grade with kids of similar ages but getting him special attention and projects to stimulate his mind.

Kenya - posted on 04/03/2011

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would recommend keeping him in the same class, having a conversation with the teacher to not allow his to get bored and make up for it at home with more work

Stella - posted on 03/31/2011

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Janelle, my daugther skipped the second grade and she is fine. She was born in January, so now she's a year younger than her classmates, but that has not hindered her at all! The pediatrician told me that she was going to be a very smart child and I should have her tested (I never did)! But she excels in school, honors since Pre-K. She attended private school from pre-k to eighth grade and high school. She has honors classes and has maintained a 4.3 GPA overall for the first three years. Right now for senior year she's pulling a 4.0 or better GPA. She's always maintained high honors in both middle school and high school. She will be graduating this June and attending college in the fall. On top of keeping up her grades, she plays soccer, belongs to clubs in school and does community service. And she has maintained perfect attendance in both middle school and high school. I too thought that skipping her would be a problem, but it turned out that it has helped her tremendously! One of her teachers gave her a nickname (superlative) in middle school and still calls her that to this day. The only thing that worried me with skipping her was that she never had to study....school came easy for her. She was becoming bored with school. When she was in daycare, I had a wonderful daycare provider. So, when it was time for her to go to school, she was well prepared. In the first grade, my daughter was reading at a sixth grade reading level. They wanted to skip her two grades, but one was more than enough. I'm so glad I did, because if I didn't (from what I see now) it would definitely have held her back, socially, mentally and academically.

But you have to realize that if the child is not ready, then don't push. My girl told me that she didn't want to go to third grade, because she wanted to be with her friends,with who she started Pre-K with. So, she said she wouldn't do her work and they would have to put her in second grade. Well, I gave her two choices: she would go to third grade and do the work or there would be consequences, which meant spanking and punishment until she decided to do her work. Well, she went with the first choice. It was sort of difficult for her in the beginning,because the older kids thought she was a baby and her other friends were mad because she left. Well, we had a long talk and she realized that the move was best for her. The principal talked to her also and after a couple of weeks, things were on track.

To this day, we still talk and laugh about it. She tells me that she is glad I made the decision I did. She's 17 now. I'm lucky, because I've never had an ounce of trouble out of her in school or at home. I hear these horror stories, about teenage girls and it scared me. But I never had them. She's grown up to be a great young lady.

If you feel your son is ready, then go for it. It could only help him in the long run.

Good Luck!

Jodi - posted on 01/28/2009

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I do not suggest it in my opinion, boys mature later than girls and I have a 15 year old that skipped a grade and I think she regrets it now as she misssed alot of history and science that would have helped her this year as she is now a JR in Highschool. I held my son back for late birthday and know it is so hard when they are gifted but stick with it it will pay off later......................... it is hard for my son as he is so far ahead of his class but I don't regret doing it at all

Shayla - posted on 01/28/2009

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My dughter is in a split class right now, K-2 I am worried about her skipping first grade next year also.  This is a great thread thanks for the advice.

Candy - posted on 01/26/2009

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Janelle, there are two issues which seem very important to me- and I speak as someone who was skipped a grade myself and remember the experience with horror.



Firstly, has your child already made friendships within the lower grade?  If so, hesitate, because social stress will add to the existing anxiety. I had gone through the difficult experience of making friends with some success, and then was torn away from them to start again.



Secondly, who is teaching each grade? You have already said that neither choice has a 'touch' with gifted kids... so moving your child forward is not necessarily going to access anything other than a more advanced syllabus, which could be done just as well with extension lessons outside school.



I had a really horrible time the year I was 'jumped'- socially isolated and bullied by the older kids and not really challenged by either the teacher or the one-year syllabus jump (mentally I could have gone a lot further). And then the authorities had the hide to say I was not old enough to progress, so I was repeated!!!! -only a truly outstanding teacher in that repeat year saved my sanity (she had me writing novels at age 7). 



School grade numbers are an artificial construct.  The real point is, what will be gained and lost?  Unless the child jumps to an outstanding teacher and a peaceful peer group, there is a lot to lose.

Dr. Peggy - posted on 01/24/2009

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One of the true geniuses I know is a friend of my 27 year old son.  His parents did not want him to be isolated because of his intelligence (a childhood problem of both), so kept him with his grade level in the public schools, but involved him in all types of other intelligential activities. (The school district does have an gifted program from second grade on.)  He was valedictorian of his class, lead the conga line at the graduation party, was accepted to MIT, and graduated in 3.5 years in computer science. Now at 27 he is married (2d of his group to do so), doing a master’s in public policy and still has a close group of friends he grew up with whom he stays in touch.



 



In the winter when my gifted daughter was in 4th grade (and in the gifted program there), she got bored and started having some discipline problems. I had a conference with at her school that included the vice principal, a counselor and her teacher. I asked about skipping her to the 6th the next year and we discussed it. Her teacher (who had been her older brother's teacher and knew my daughter well) said intellectually she'd handle it and probably thrive, but emotionally would be a real question. My daughter was right on target for her grade level socially and emotionally. And right then the teacher decided to add a unit to the class for the next few months - all about pirates with lots of varied activities. My daughter LOVED it! Also to help, the counselor took my daughter out of class several times a week and allowed her to become a mentor/peer tutor to several younger students. All this made the rest of the year a great experience for my daughter. Looking back on it all, I am so glad 1) we didn't push her in only one area of her development, and 2) I asked for that conference.



Also when thinking about skipping a child or letting having many of their friends be older for the match in abilities. . . there is not that much difference between a smart 6 year and an average 9 year old. There is amazing amounts of differences between a smart 12 year and average 15 year old. . . and ever more between a 16 year old and a 19 year old.

Molly - posted on 01/19/2009

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We were able to pinpoint that the source of her anxiety was a particular student teacher.   As soon as we knew that, we were able to discontinue that contact which helped quite a bit immediately.    We still saw a therapist to teach her how to identify and deal with her feelings.



The most helpful thing they  (her therapist had a trainee ) did with her was to help her figure out what things make her relax.  They started to have her write down her worries and float them away in an origami boat, but her real source of anxiety was just that teacher so they changed  direction.  They had her write down many ways to relax on small pieces of paper.  All those pieces went into the origami boat and she picked one out when she felt like she needed to relax.



She decided that some of her favorite ways were reading, rollerblading, cartwheels, drawing, etc.  Some of those things can't be done at school, so she had to figure out what things she could do at school.  Her regular teacher allowed her to keep the Boat and scraps of paper at school.  When she needed to she was allowed to use her Boat to relax at school. 



Her regular teacher also recognied quickly what helped relax my dd.  When the teacher sensed stress in my dd, she would cue my dd to take a break and read a book for a few minutes or go get a  drink in the hall or something - just enough to re-set what she might be worried about.   



The rest of last school year was tough for her and she used her Boat quite a bit.  Over the summer she didn't need to use it - and she went back to school without it this fall.  She has practiced enough and figured out  ways to relax when she is anxious.  We discussed it this fall and she told me I didn't need to tell this year's teacher about the Boat or her strategies - she felt that she could do it herself if she needed to at school. 



 



We also read the book : What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming Anxiety (What to Do Guides for Kids) by Dawn Huebner.  My dd thought it was helpful to her.  I thought it was just "OK" but my opinion matters less than hers about this. 



 



Seeing a therapist was helpful to us.  I liked being able to be in the room (when my dd requested that I be, but not always) to hear the strategies that she was being taught. 



 



Quoting Janelle:
I am pretty sure 99.9% that our sons anxiety reaches far beyond not being challenged in school. It was present when he started preschool at three and has built from there. We have in the past had a couple good years, but usually it goes day by day especially this year. Yes Jolene we would be very interested if you would elaborate on ways your therapist suggested to help. Our home-school specialist aka school social worker has been a big help.


 

Randi - posted on 01/19/2009

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I think it totally depends on your child.  I moved my 3rd grader up to 4th grade in a Montessori school, so the kids were mostly 4th and 5th.  There were no 6th grades although Montessori does 3 grades in one classroom.  We though this would be great as my son is off the charts in L.A. and is a very motivated learner.  It was the worst thing we ever did and I have spend the last 4/5 years trying to undo the damage that it caused.  He is now in 7th grade and this is the first year I can say that he is happy and likes school.  It was an awful experience for him and I cry everytime I think of what I did.  Montessori is very different and though I still recommend the program, I do not think any teacher should have a student three years in a row.  So please keep that in mind when thinking about our experience. :) GOOD LUCK!

Megan - posted on 01/19/2009

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I was younger than my classmates - and I have a June b-day. Didn't turn 21 until after I had graduated from college! Things were not always easy socially. Espeicially in HS when frends were driving and dating... But it is a personal decision.



Definitely look into your schools' gifted programs. My oldest entered the program in 1st grade even though it's not typically started before 3rd. This made a huge difference - just being with other gifted kids and knowing that he wasn't the only one with a brain made a difference in his outlook! Also, talk to your son's teacher about "extra" work. One of my sons' teachers used to keep a math folder with chaleenges for those kids that finished work early and short writing/art activities for those who finished language arts assignments ahead of their classmates. It wasn't just limited to certain kids, but it's always the same ones who finish first!! Some teachers will modify writing assignments and expect a little extra from their more advanced kids to keep them motivated.

Deb - posted on 01/19/2009

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There is no general right or wrong with this issue. You need to determine if your child can socially and emotionally handle being younger. My oldest skipped 2nd grade with no consequences. You can't tell tha she is 6 -12 months younger than her friends. My 11 year old was waaay ahead academically in 1st grade, but we knew that she would not handle being younger very well. There are times we wish we had skipped her because she is still ahead, but I think it was the right decision overall.

It also depends on how well your school district tolerates the idea. My girls' school is awesome and I owe them some credit for making transitions easier.

Hope this helps

Kibbie - posted on 01/19/2009

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I was a teacher before I had kids.  I taught middle school (gifted kids).  Though the kids who skip grades academically do great they tend to have major social issues startying in the 6th grade and lasting until about their Jr year in high school.   Often instead of having the children skipping a grade we are able to pull thm out of their regulary classroom for math and reading and placed in the next grade for those groups. 

Janelle - posted on 01/16/2009

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I am pretty sure 99.9% that our sons anxiety reaches far beyond not being challenged in school. It was present when he started preschool at three and has built from there. We have in the past had a couple good years, but usually it goes day by day especially this year. Yes Jolene we would be very interested if you would elaborate on ways your therapist suggested to help. Our home-school specialist aka school social worker has been a big help.

Molly - posted on 01/16/2009

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Quoting Jolene:



Hi Janelle,






I wanted to respond to your concern about your son's anxiety issues- I think it may be a common occurence with gifted children, since they become overwhelmed by all the information they understand but still view from the experience of a child. I have an 11 year old son that skipped a grade and had high anxiety that seemed to get a little better when he became more challenged in school. Getting him invloved in other activities that stimulate his mind and body (orchestra, chess, baseball) seem to lower that anxiety a little more too. He'll have all the time in the world to be challenged academically in highschool and college, we just don't want him to lose the experience of being a child!





  We have seen anxiety and some shyness in our dd also.  Having her participate in outside activities was great for her - we definitely noticed a change - besides having a great time at the activity itself.



 



Our dd also suffered anxiety being picked on by a student teacher last year.  We saw a therapist who gave us some great ways to help her deal with it.     (I'll elaborate if anyone wants more details)

Janelle - posted on 01/16/2009

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Thanks to everyone who has replied! I really appreciate all the comments. For right now I really don't want to skip a grade, for many reasons, several of which have been mentioned. We are trying to get the math accelerated, but everyone seems to be dragging their feet. I am becoming for frustrated daily and so is my son, waiting for the new math, by the way he loves math and is always trying to do his sisters 6th grade math. We keep all the kids active in outside activities, soccer, wrestling, swimming, music and lots of rec programs. We are very lucky to live in a community where we have a fantastic rec and humanities program for kids.

[deleted account]

Hi Janelle,



I wanted to respond to your concern about your son's anxiety issues- I think it may be a common occurence with gifted children, since they become overwhelmed by all the information they understand but still view from the experience of a child. I have an 11 year old son that skipped a grade and had high anxiety that seemed to get a little better when he became more challenged in school. Getting him invloved in other activities that stimulate his mind and body (orchestra, chess, baseball) seem to lower that anxiety a little more too. He'll have all the time in the world to be challenged academically in highschool and college, we just don't want him to lose the experience of being a child!

Molly - posted on 01/16/2009

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I think you know your child best to make that decision.    



 



My worry about kids skipping grades is about when they get older - and the other kids in the grade are older and can do more things (driving, dating, etc).  



For my kids, I have kept them in their "correct" grade and instead are doing things to challenge them where they are.   Our teachers find small ways to challenge my kids even outside of "gifted" classes.

Elizabeth - posted on 01/14/2009

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My six year old daughter did one month of grade 1,then moved to the second grade. She has made the transition very nicely,enjoys having peers that are that bit more mature,and while the classroom content is still very easy for her,she is bieng challenged with writing faster and only answering questions the way that she is bieng asked.Our school did lots of observations to ensure that her maturity was not an issue,wich we all felt was important. I also have a 13 year old niece who skipped 1st grade,and is still doing very well with it. Good luck!

Julia - posted on 01/13/2009

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do you have a gifted school in your area? my daughter goes to a school for gifted kids - and although she is 1st grade, with all her peers (who are all also gifted), she is pulled into a class for higher reading and math..they also pull out for science later on....

Megan - posted on 01/11/2009

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We're going through the same thing with my son now. He has an early birthday (Nov.) so the age thing isn't as much as a factor but my school district makes it really difficult to skip even if the child is being recommended for it. We've tried supplementing but he's just keeps getting further ahead of his class. We're going to start looking into alternate schools for him because I afraid the school won't do anything for him and I don't feel comfortable or capable of homeschooling. Good luck.

Janelle - posted on 01/11/2009

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Thanks for all the wonderful advice!!! The more I research on this the more I find that for every option is good and bad points. My biggest concern is the choice of teachers we have next year. Neither one "gets" gifted kids and both seen to equate giftedness with good grade which couldn't farther from reality. Where we like there is a 5/6 center and then a 7/8. I happen to work at both buildings and know that the staff there will be good for him. If we can just make it through the rest of this year and next will be the thing.

Katrina - posted on 01/11/2009

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Hello Janelle my name is Katrina and I have a 14yr old son that was identified as gifted very early on. He skipped kindergarten and entered 1st grade before his 6th bday. I was lucky that a local public school had a program for gifted children, which he was placed into in the 3rd grade. All was great up to Jr High, once there he and the other gifted students were not "challenged" . Now in High School things are beginning to get a little better because he is in all of the AP classes. I do worry that because he is now taking courses with 11th graders what courses will they have for him when he is an 11th grader? I feel as though he will only be challenged for a few more years. Then want do I do. Will I have a Senior that is board and becomes restless and frustrated with school? That is a dangerous age to become restless. Socially, again I'm lucky because there are a group of these kids who have been in class together for several years and are still friends. Each year another group gets older and next year when he is a Jr there will be even more gifted children in the High School giving him more friends to choose from.

There are pro's and con's as there are with anything. Allowing him to push forward will keep him focused and challenged however that my hit a wall as he gets older. You have to find more kids like him and together you parents demand that the school develop programs and classes for this group of children. (that's how we did it).

I feel the biggest problem we have ran into this far ( again he is only 14) is that most of the children in his grade are 15 or 16yr old. They will get their drivers licences this summer and some already have them. Its tough when all your friends are driving to the movies and Mom is still dropping you off and picking you up. It is hard to say NO when they want to ride with a friend to the corner to get a soda. It is going to be very very hard to drive him to Prom next year when everyone else will be driving themselves. Then there is the girlfriend thing...how many girlfriends will he loose when they can drive and he can"t? These are all things I admit i thought about when making my decision however because I didn't have an older child i don't feel I gave it enough consideration. When I say No and he looks like a baby it hurts our relationship. I struggle everyday to keep a balance we both can live with.

I fear he will get into trouble trying to prove he is grown up to his friends. I don't know the answer as to if I made the correct decision yet or not, however I'm working hard each day to make the best decisions I can for both of my kids.

Virginia - posted on 01/11/2009

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We also moved our child from a parochial school to the public school system because the opportunity to be in a gifted program. As a matter of fact, the teachers at the parochial school recommended that he be put in a special gifted program because they did not have the resources to provide that for him.

Rebecca - posted on 01/10/2009

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We are very blessed that we could send my daughter to a school that has both gifted classes and is an academic magnet school.  What that means is that they have a wider variety of gifted classes that gives her the challenge that she needs. As a freshman, she is taking mostly gifted sophmore level classes that are also advanced placement so she can get college credit.



Think very seriously before moving your child up.  Kids are very cruel and there is a huge difference in maturity levels of children.  The peer pressure will go way up when he gets to middle and high school. What type of personality does your child have?  How easily does he make friends?



He needs to be challenged academically but when he gets a little older he has to find his niche socially. In middle and high school fitting in socially can make or break a child.  It is a balancing act between what is best for the child academically and socially.   

User - posted on 01/10/2009

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There are so many factors involved in the choice.  We skipped 1st grade with my son, then held him in third grade so that he could be with his peers again.  For him, it was more important to develop social skills than skip one grade that was still not very challenging.  We supplement him at home, plus he is in gifted education at the public school--we moved him from private to public so that he could have more options and found that there were MORE peers with his same IQ level than in private school.



Hope that helps!



 

User - posted on 01/10/2009

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There are so many factors involved in the choice.  We skipped 1st grade with my son, then held him in third grade so that he could be with his peers again.  For him, it was more important to develop social skills than skip one grade that was still not very challenging.  We supplement him at home, plus he is in gifted education at the public school--we moved him from private to public so that he could have more options and found that there were MORE peers with his same IQ level than in private school.



Hope that helps!



 

Sheri - posted on 01/10/2009

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My 13 year old daughter is highly gifted and was identified at an early age. We attend a private parochial school. We chose not to have her skip grades and it was the best choice for her. She is very self motivated and goal oriented. Working closely with her teachers and administrators, she has always been challenged and now excells in academics, 2 sports, student council, and girl scouts. We were told when she was three by a child psychologist to alway have an activitie that she has to work at and to always keep her challenged. She is challenged in her school and is recognized as a leader and role model. It helps that her best friend is also very gifted and the challenge each other.

Virginia - posted on 01/10/2009

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We have an 11 year old that is highly gifted. He was identified as gifted from a very young age and we too considered skipping a grade. We consulted with a counselor and he advised that was probably not the best way to go because of the age difference. We changed him to a gifted program instead and he seems to be doing very well. The counselor explained that even though the intelligence is there, it is important that he interacts with other children his own age and if possible at his own intelligence level.

Samantha - posted on 01/09/2009

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Hi Janelle.



I've spoken with a lot of parents about this issue and it really is a personal choice. That being said, the people I've spoken to who choose to skip, tell me that are all very glad that they did. Their children who were once bored and felt as though no one understood them found school to be interesting again and the people around them, although older, could carry on a conversation with them! Finally! Peers who know what I'm talking about!



There are social issues, but that's true whether they are in their age/grade or older. Most gifted children have social challenges. Why deny them educational opportunity just because they're smaller?

Robin - posted on 01/08/2009

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Janelle, We started something just this January with my first grade son. He was identified as gifted when he was 4 (the year before Kindergarten), but we hesitated because he was small for his age. I now wish we had not. However, we met with our school's gifted coordinator and he is now in the second grade math class while still in first grade. Unfortunately, he should be in the third grade math class, but his reading level while above his grade is not at a third grade level although his math is. So, as soon as his reading level comes up a bit, which he is working on, he will likely transfer into the next grade entirely and then still go up another grade level in math. We'll see how this goes, because even though he has been in the second grade math, it is still too easy for him. He does do some enrichment in school with both math and reading and we try to challenge him at home as much as we can without cramming school down his throat!



Good luck!

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