1 child and pregnant again - my mom wants me out.

Shaneequa - posted on 05/14/2013 ( 64 moms have responded )

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I'm 20 years old with a 2 year old daughter and now I'm pregnant again. I told my mom but now she wants me out. I have no friends or help from family. I just wanna start college and move on in life but I don't think I can get an abortion. I don't know what to do and scared. Me and my daughter may be homeless, my boyfriend wants an abortion but I told him I can't go through with it. Any advice?

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Destinee - posted on 05/21/2013

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Ok, I just read through some of your posts (was a bit busy earlier when I originally responded and didn't read through them for time reasons). Your mother has NO legal claim to your child. YOU can go to social services and report that you are no longer living with her, and they will help you remove yourself from her case; there is no reason the court should have to get involved in that matter unless your mother has committed Welfare fraud. If you are trying to get into housing, talk to your human services office and ask them for assistance in getting in; they should be able to help you. You say you do not want to adoption-okay, I can back you on that. I was told to give my baby up because my oldest is disabled and we were in a wreck of a situation, but I didn't. It is a hard road, but one that is doable. Apply for housing with help from a social services worker, apply for food stamps, cash assistance, day care assistance-the works. Get yourself a job if you don't have one already. Save up money-buy NOTHING that you do not 100% need (like diapers, kids clothing, etc.). Buying things you want but don't need is where a lot of people lose money, and in a situation like you are in, that's the easiest way to get trapped in Welfare. Look for roommates. Look into long-term bus tickets, whether you have a vehicle or not (with the price of gas, it's a HUGE money saver; a pain, but a money saver!). Talk to the baby's father-if you don't have an abortion, does he want to be involved? If he doesn't, make sure he understands that in order for you to get public assistance, you will have to file for paternity and child support. If your kids have different fathers and you haven't done so already, do this with your daughter as well. You will not be able to get assistance without it unless you have a special circumstance. (Again I'm not assuming they don't have the same father-my boys do, and many have unintentionally insulted me by assuming they don't.) This is hard, and you may not be able to go back to school right now. I wouldn't recommend full-time schooling until you are back on your feet; part time might be doable, but you have enough to handle right now-that would add a lot more to your plate, so I'd consider it carefully before moving forward. Most definitely do it, but you have time; there is no age-limit to college. Don't listen to the people telling you you can't achieve your dreams now that you have children-my mother did, and I'm working on it. I was 12 when my mom got her degree, and growing up watching her inspired me when I landed myself in a similar situation to know that I didn't have to give up, that it may take longer than planned, but I could still do it. You can, too, just maybe not as soon as you'd hoped. Your children's needs definitely need to be met first and foremost, but there is no reason why their needs can't be met while you achieve a degree to give them a better life. You'd be doing them a disservice not to follow your dreams. Stay strong, sweetie-you can do it! Message me anytime you need a shoulder.

Cyndi - posted on 05/21/2013

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I read over this post and your other updates, your mother is in the wrong if she thinks she can kick you out but take your daughter. Don't worry about "messing things up" for your mom, she's an adult, as are you. Your daughter and your unborn baby come first, not her. Take her to court if you have to. Also, in my personal opinion, anyone who asks someone else to have an abortion is not a man, he's a boy, and a selfish one at that. An abortion, although I personally think it's a bad decision, it's YOUR decision, not his. There are plenty of options for you if you just stop thinking about your mother and this deadbeat of a boytoy (yell at me for that one, I understand, but it's my opinion on this guy). You can even go to school part time. Trust me, I've been in your shoes, baby at 18, wanting to better myself, I'm not just some idiot without kids posting what they THINK is right. I have the experience. Now I have another beautiful child, a husband who wouldn't even dream of telling me to do something I don't want to do, and a nice home. Just do what is best for your kids, no one else, and you will be fine.

Rachel - posted on 05/17/2013

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I'm really tired of people putting thoughts Like your body your decision...we are so caught up in being selfish we will kill an unborn baby. I'm very happy you are leaning toward having the baby. Many woman are unable to and would love to adopt a newborn. Make the right choice. Save a life.

Tabitha - posted on 05/16/2013

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Everyone has their opinion about abortion. I, personally, am completely against it. You do have other options, ones that do not include killing your unborn baby. If you are in this desperate of a situation, consider adoption. Give this child a good life and a fighting chance. Giving your baby up for adoption does not make you a bad person. It means that you love that child enough to give it a good life. A life it deserves. Second, you need to think of how you got in this situation in the first place. You got pregnant the first time (I am assuming not married) and were not in a position to take care of that one. Now you are pregnant again. You are 20 years old and should know what causes that. You should take ALL precautions necessary to not get pregnant if you know you can't take care of it. If nothing else, don't have sex. So many girls today take having sex and making babies seem like a hobby. Find a man, get married and financially stable, then have kids. If you are not ready, then be responsible. I am not trying to sound harsh, but truthful. Look into adoption. That is a choice you can live with.

Suzanna - posted on 05/23/2013

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Its not being insensitive having an abortion. Im not saying I feel good about doing what im doing, I am also very emotional about it, but I personally wont be able to go through with it. If I cant handle it, then I really feel sorry for my child. I will do my best being a good mother, but will this make YOU happy? If she doesnt have any help from family, she is all alone, she might be homeless, then really, where do you want to put another child? I dont see any good reason for letting a child into this world in a horrible situation like this. For all the religious ones, if God wants children to be born, then i think he would like it more if the child is welcomed into a good world, and not homeless, without any support and motherless. After birth, giving my child to another family, having to live with myself thinking that another family is taking care of my child, which i was not able to do. I couldnt live like that. if this child comes into the world, it needs some kind of security, a future. Her mom wants her out, maybe homesless, I feel sorry for the for the unborn child's future.
You also have to think about YOU. You want the child to be born, not because of you, but you feel sorry for it. And I say this because she wants to get on with her life, and another baby was not really in her plans, i assume... Think how your life is going to be. I dont think you should feel bad about yourself for having an abortion. Personally, I would feel much better after I have my studies, a proper job, a nice home, prepare all baby stuff, and then say "welcome baby, into a good, warm, caring home" - then i'd think, I did the right thing. And also, i would be able to take care of it my myself, and not giving it away. Its not easy for a mother, just after giving birth, knowing that in a few moments, this child wont be hers anymore. What a horrible feeling, thank goodness it's not going to be me.

64 Comments

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Jamila - posted on 06/03/2013

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im not sure where u are from, but apply for housing now, anything to help u financially. look it up. visit a social worker, a counsellor. if ur in college see the therapist, u need support and as much of it as possible....i had my 1st at 19. look up all the help u can, shelters, food banks everything....find the help u need, call or write ur mayor, city counsel...there is hepl, all u gotta do is look. so get off u butt and look.
i had two abortions before i had my 2nd at 25. i got pregnent right after i had my 1st. and then 2 years after my first. it hurt like hell. i felt every emotion. when u make that choice its similar to grieving. but as time passes , u heal, and the pain fades. mind u never forget, but the hurt and pain and guilt goes. u may need to write the pro and cons of ur options. i personally choose abortion cause of my views of adoption. if ur christian, read the bible ull find strength. god will forgive u...if he can forgive murders and thieves and molesters, why the heck cant he forgive u? F*ck everyone and listen to you. you know hat u need to do. and if u do choose to abort, still move out of ur moms house, speaking from experience it will not get better and ur parents will start parenting ur baby and ull become the grand parent rather than mom. ur 20 and u have a baby its time to grow up. find child care, go to school. get a job, find a place...find a babysitter from time to time and go out so u dont feel trapped or that u have no youth. but u need to start making a life for ur child, something she can be proud of and say, my mom did it on her own, shes strong and i can be strong to.

Shannon - posted on 06/03/2013

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Although I don't necessarily agree with the harshness of Suzanna's posts, I do respect her opinions. Some of the posts in response to Suzanna's are even more appalling than her posts! That's fairly arrogant to call yourself a Christian while you judge and speak poorly of another person.

I am definitely pro-choice. While I don't feel like abortion is the best option, I do believe that it's an option best left up to the parents. I wouldn't judge a mother OR a father for suggesting abortion. I find the comments relating to Shaneequa's boyfriend to be very offensive. For all we know, he could be a great partner and support system for her during this difficult time. To suggest for her to leave him simply because he believes that abortion is the best option, is really bad advice.

Shaneequa: Only you can make the difficult decision of whether to have your baby or not. Only you know whether you can provide the love, financial support, and stability that another baby will need. From the details of your situation that you have included, it doesn't sound like you're in a position to care for another child. If you can't provide the basic necessities like shelter, it would not be in the best interest of your unborn baby to be with you.

I also find it incredibly naive that so many posters replace common sense with religious babble. God is not going to pay Shaneequa's bills, provide housing for her, or raise her child(ren). There are too many people in America who hide behind religion instead of dealing with real issues. There are too many hungry, neglected, and abused children and not nearly enough couples willing to adopt.

Shaneequa-I hope that you do what is right for you, your daughter, and your unborn child. I've known several women who have given their babies up for adoption and several that have had abortions. Some had good experiences, while others didn't. Someone close to me chose abortion when she was in her early 20's because she didn't have a stable job, wasn't married, and had no health insurance. She went on to get a good job, got married, and now has two kids. She has never regretted her decision, even though it was hard for her at the time. Another mom I know aborted her 3rd baby, since she had a 3 year old and a 9 month old and was having a hard time making ends meet. She, too, has never regretted it. She went on to become a nurse and is now a grandma!

Becky - posted on 06/01/2013

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Hey hun,

First of all, i would go with what your heart is telling you, i definately wouldn't get an abortion but that is just my opinion, you really can't listen to what anyone has to say about something like that because that is a big deal and it's your body and your baby, how far along are you? Your boyfriend obviously wants you to get an abortion because he probably doesn't want to deal with another baby...plain and simple..that's a typical male for you, unless your like some of those girls out there that luck out and get a good guy...There is help out there, there are many shelters that you and your daughter could go to, i understand about you not having family or friends because that pretty much describes me, i have one true best friend who is like my mother and that's it...i have two little girls and just had a baby boy, i live on my own in subsidized housing and have been on my own for 4 years now, you need to go and find a place that offers help and sign up for housing..you will find something soon enough, where are you from??

Shauna - posted on 05/25/2013

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Tasha,
I think that you hit it right on the head when you were talking to suzanna about how much of a horrible person she is for telling shaneequa to get an abortion. She is a horrid person and I think that she needs to leave this post and not say anymore to anyone especially if she is going to tell someone to kill their child.

Tasha - posted on 05/24/2013

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Suzanna Johnson Your a Jerk horrible vial person!!!! She has many options and agencies to help her and there is funding for single parents to go to school! Theres places called pregnacy care centers and pregancy care houses and Women's expectations centers to help girls and women in bad situations!! My ex left me homeless I didn't know if parents would let me move back or had room for a baby. I had friend my best friend ever who told where to get help and I went back to school and I have job and thankfully my parents let me move in. But I still have housing options as well once I'm on my feet better I'll be on my own again. HOW DARE YOU SAY SUCH EVIL THINGS!! I will pray for you soul for when you meet you maker you will be judged and wont like the outcome you terrible horrid person! YOur one sick selfish person a female dog!!

Tasha - posted on 05/24/2013

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There are places that can help you not sure where your from but look up pregnancy care places. Place that can help you with the pregnancy and baby you already have like parenting classes and clothing for your children and maturnity clothing for you and baby things as well like furnature and diapers for babies and personal products as well. Look into places like the womwns Y (YWCA) they can direct to resources to get help for housing and medical care you and children. Talk to the American escue workers, Salvation Army, and American Red Cross they can give many differnet resources to help you get through this. Your not alone there are people who can help even check out your local welfare office they housing options that may benefit as well. Good Luck!

Shawnoe - posted on 05/24/2013

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Keep your baby, it will be hard but a person being irresponsible is no reason for a baby to be killed. You have from now until that baby is born to get your act together. Your mother is being fair, because she has helped you this far with your first child and she should not have to bear the responsibility of helping you raise another one. I don't know why you don't have a place of your own for you and your child yet. It's been 2 years you have had a lot of time to get your self together. That Is most likely the reason why your mother is so upset and wants you out. it's time to be a grown up.... On your own... In your own house... Providing for you and your children yourself. you can do it just have faith your babies will thank you for remaining string and becoming independent for them.

Ilovebeingamommy - posted on 05/23/2013

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If you don't "think" you can... don't. I had a friend that's I said the same thing to. but she didn't listen and now she regrets it everyday. and ad far has help contact local agencys that help with emergenciy housing. for example there

User - posted on 05/23/2013

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Suzanna
I dont see how anyone could kill their baby over sucking it up and letting a caring family provide for it when you cant. If you cant fathom the thought of giving a baby away why would abortion be an option, its even worse.
You live with knowing you killed an innocent child, or you live knowing you gave that baby an opportunity to have a great life with someone who can provide for it?
Its not a hard choice, its doing it, people have to stop being selfish and suck up the emotions "Idk if I can handle giving my baby away" and give that baby to a mother who will love it.

I dont like using the word religous, but I do believe in God whole-heartedly and I can say he loves all his children and does want them to be taken care of while on this Earth. Its unfortunant that all children cant grow up as such, but I know that they were born for a purpose. We are the sinners and are the ones bringing children into a world with terrible things that happen everyday. But it is our job as a parent to also protect them and teach them right from wrong, to raise them in good enviroments and to be able to have a healthy life and healthy relationships with their family and friends. God gives us the choice. We can succom to the world around us or we can fight for a better life.

Shaneequa Page, I really do hope that you situation does improve and than you can pull yourself up and make a great life for your family. No matter what our opiniona are we are all here as mothers to support you along your journey. Best of wishes! I will pray for you

Destinee - posted on 05/23/2013

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Suzanna, my apologies, I missed the part about your ten month old. She can still bring the baby into the world and give it a good life-she's got a few months at least before she's due. She can start to get on her feet and build a life, or she may decide adoption is right for her child. Right now, she's saying she wants to keep the baby. That's the decision she's making, we need to support her in that.

Nicole - posted on 05/23/2013

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Suzanna Johnson - PLEASE!!! Do not kill your baby!! Have you ever seen a video of an abortion being done?? The fetus fights it and you can see his little face SCREAMING! They get torn limb by limb - late term they get poisoned to death with chemicals that burn them from the inside - or slit at the throat when they are halfway out!
PLEASE i BEG you! Dont torture YOUR baby! Please! Give him or her up for adoption. PLEASE! Them being adopted will not affect your studies, and nobody will be tortured or killed. Please Don't do it! I was a teen mom, did my studies with 2 little ones, it was hard but i did it. My friend got pregnant a few months apart and she gave her baby up, but she let it live!

Jennifer - posted on 05/23/2013

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Anyone who would ever encourage someone to get an abortion has some major issues in the head. I have never met anyone who had one who did not hate themselves for it. Whether it be because they cannot stand that they killed their child, still count every year how old that child would be, or they can no longer have children because of it. They tear up every time it is mentioned or anything brings it to mind. DO NOT let someone talk you into a life of that so you can study a tad easier. Motherhood isn't easy regardless, you already know that. Sorry, that is just the most ridiculous, selfish & downright horrible post I'd ever seen!

Shauna - posted on 05/23/2013

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Christine,
You made some excellent points and I have to say that I am proud of you for doing as well as you are. And I just want to say that I agree with everything that you have said. You made some extremely good points and I like how you worded everything.

Christine - posted on 05/23/2013

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You are now an adult and you decided to have sex. Sometimes a baby is a consequence of sex. Now you need to make a decision like an adult. The best choice you can make is give life to this child. Whether that means keeping it, or giving it up for adoption.

I can tell you from experience, I had my first son when I was 17 years old, still in high school and I am now expecting another in December...but what I am getting at is...Not for one day have I EVER regretted choosing to give life to my son. Ever. As a matter of fact, he changed my life for the better. Honestly, I see more mothers regretting having an abortion, that I ever see a mother saying I wish I never would have had my child, or gave it up for adoption.

Look, you are in a tough position. But sweetheart, that's life. And it's not easy. But look how far you've come with your daughter. You've been doing it for two years! Good for you! If you decide to keep the baby, move out, honestly, you are twenty years old. You need to learn how to grow on your own. Get a full-time job, apply for daycare assistance, apply to colleges, and go to college. You're not the only one who uses that system. And don't feel bad for using it, that is what it is for. To use, so you can better your life, so you wont constantly need to use the system. Can you imagine how proud of yourself you would be if you over come this all, without taking the easy way out??? You will feel like a champion, who didn't let anything get in the way of her dreams.

As I said before I had my son when I was 17, took me a while but now I am in my 3rd year of college, using assistance, and my son is in 3rd grade and has never been more proud of his mother. I am not saying it was easy to get where I am now, because it definitely was not. But I am here and haven't felt more like a mother and a woman. If you need anything, please feel free to contact me, I'd be happy to help. That is what this place is for :)

“Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.”

Good luck dear friend.

Suzanna - posted on 05/23/2013

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Yeah, so if you looked at the convo, I have a son, 10 months old.

Im not telling her what to do, but giving my advice, and telling her what I'd personally do, not what she should do. So totally agree with you, lets support
Just one last thing, think of the unborn that could be born in the future, welcomed into a good life and situation, instead of this one. Thats just me.
Ok guys, good luck with everything, and hope you make the right decision. I dont think I can do more here. Luck to you all.

Destinee - posted on 05/23/2013

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Suzanna, the only point I am going to make is that she's already stated she doesn't WANT an abortion, or an adoption. We don't have to agree with her-she's not asking us to. She is asking for advice on how to help herself. We, as a community of moms meant to SUPPORT (and may I ask, if you are childless other than the one you currently carry, why are you on a site for moms? Not being rude-I'm genuinely curious.) Shaneequa and her decisions, should not be trying to convince her to do what she's already stated she didn't want to do. In my original comment, I did mention adoption, because I had not read through the other comments in which she stated she does not want to do that. However, she stated very clearly in her original post that she doesn't want an abortion. Let's get behind her instead of telling her how wrong she is, shall we?

Shauna - posted on 05/22/2013

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Suzanna,
I want you to know that it is not your child's fault that you are not able to do your studies. You made the decision to have sex and made the decision not to use protection or anything so why should your child be punished for your mistake. I really don't approve or like the fact that you are encouraging her to have an abortion. That is totally wrong, because like I said it is not the child's fault that they are alive so why take their life when it was the adults decision and actions that caused this child to have a life along with God. God doesn't create life so that we can kill it just because we don't want it. I also want you to know that yes it may be difficult to continue your studies with 2 children, but I promise you it can be done. I have 2 children and work 40+ hours a week and go to school and it does get difficult but I am bettering myself for my children. You are definitely not someone I would reccommend that Shaneequa take advice from.

SHANEEQUA PLEASE DO NOT TAKE HER ADVICE, PLEASE do not abort your baby just because she says that it is difficult to continue studies because you have 2 children. Some people can't but if you put your mind to it and think that you are doing it for your children than you can do anything. All you have to do is try.

Caitlin - posted on 05/22/2013

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I am so sorry about your difficult circumstances. I know you must be scared and so are your mom and boyfriend, which is undoubtedly why they are suggesting an abortion. You have already said yourself that abortion isn't something you could ever go through with so DON'T. It is very insensitive for anyone to tell you that you HAVE to or that to not get one would be a mistake after it's something you've already said you can't do. Think about the reasons you feel that way and don't forget them. You are already a mom and you know that precious life inside of you is a living child and not just meaningless disposable replaceable tissue. I know this won't be easy, but don't let anyone tell you that you CAN'T because yes you most certainly CAN achieve your dreams. It will be more difficult and maybe take longer, but it definitely can be done. Is there a friend or another family member that you could stay with for a while? If not maybe you should check into government assisted housing. No, that's not something you ever want to do, but it's ok on a temporary basis if you need it. Also, if you are a full-time student in college you can get your child care paid for. Try to find a good organization that can help you with these details so that you can figure out how to get on with your life for you and BOTH of your kids! Don't give up!!!!! You CAN!!!! I would love to send you my e-mail if you need encouragement or support. I just don't know how to do it safely because I'm afraid people who don't like what I have to say might use it against me.

Melissa - posted on 05/22/2013

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God gave you this gift. Maybe it is his way of putttig you in a new place in your life. after you get your housing worked out go to the closest community college ( i say community because they tend to be less expensive) ask for a financial advisor and get help filling out a FAFSA. It is a Pell grant from the government that you never have to pay back. (Instead once you get your degree you can always volunteer your services as a pay it forward type of thing if you want.) Anyway the pell grant will pay for your classes, books, and sometimes even housing allowance. Alot of jr/community colleges have daycare programs where your child will attend while you are in class. Then you work to pay for your childcare. I am 31 with a 14,13, and 11 yr old. Never give up, You can do anything you put your mind to. Let your children be your motivation. Let them make you be a better you and have the best life possible!

User - posted on 05/22/2013

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im sry but that is not true suzanna. You are thinking that having children stops your dreams and the life you want for yourself. That is not the way it is. Mothers can do anything they want with their children by their sides.
Dont you see that their are women senators, doctors, accountants, therapists, etc that are proud mothers and work fulltime doing what they want to do in life. Children are not burdens. I had my child at age 21. yes I graduated college before I had my child, but do you think I would look so negatively upon my sweet boy because it made it a little tougher to finish my studies? NO!!!! He would be my motivation to do somehting better wiht my life, something to life for. I even went back after he was born, wasnt so tough as you make it to be.
I really pray that you rethink your decision on this abortion. Think about what if your mother would of aborted you? You wouldnt have a chance to exist, you couldnt make a mark on the world because your mother was just was too busy with her own life to have you. When you have sex and are not ready to have children, protect yourself or dont have sex at all, its simple.
God has blessed woman to have as many children as they want, but its the true blessing that you even able to concieve. Dont take that for granted.
If you are stong enough to have an abortion, why not just wait and have an adoption and let an innocent child have a chance to live life like you have. You dont have to take care of it, your just letting it live and to live with a family that will give it a good life. You dont have to know him/her. You'll just know in your heart that you made the right choice.

Suzanna - posted on 05/22/2013

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Im an 21 myself, and im maybe 2-3 weeks pregnant. I have an appointment for an abortion the 28th of may. I plan to study as well this year, so im definetly going to have an abortion. Nothing is wrong with that. Its going to be way more difficult with 2 children now in your life. You will never be able to study if you have another child now. I dont think a person should be "shot" just because she/he wants an abortion. If you are not ready, then thats life. Maybe you will have more children later on in life, when you are ready. You will definetly regret having another child. Please get on with your studies, earn some money, and be independent. ANother child would NOT work out for you. Get that abortion!

Cc - posted on 05/21/2013

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Does she have custody? If not, then why wouldn't they let you, the mother of the child, transfer her over to your case? Since you do live in NYC, I would recommend looking up the Sisters of Life. They have a "visitation center" in manhattan on the upper east side where you can go and just talk to them. They've helped out thousands of women get through tough situations like this.(they don't only offer housing, they help you make important decisions to prepare you for having the baby) If you have any questions, inbox me.

And everyone, please stop telling the girl to give her child up for adoption when she clearly stated she wouldn't be able to go through with it!

Shauna - posted on 05/21/2013

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Well, first of all DO NOT get an abortion. Like Christina said you will definitely regret it. Second, I would definitely find a NEW BOYFRIEND. Anyone that wants his child's mother to kill his child should definitely not have any, but should be shot himself. He is willing to kill his on flesh and blood. A LIVING CHILD. Third, you could go to a church or somewhere and ask for help. There are many places that would be willing to help you and your children, you just have to look. Good luck

Nicole - posted on 05/21/2013

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I have 2 phone numbers from the sisters of life there- and this is an excerpt from an email i received back from them with regards to you :

if you would like to give her our number (212-737-0221 or 212-737-0914 or our toll-free number: 877-777-1277) you or she can contact us anytime. Please don't hesitate. We would definitely be able to help her find housing, etc.

Christina - posted on 05/21/2013

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Please don't get an abortion, you will regret it forever. There are lots if groups to help support single moms. After this baby though, please get an iud for birth control. That way you will be able to focus on your two kids and get on your feet Good luck. I will pray for the best for you.

MaryJ - posted on 05/21/2013

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DONT get an abortion! After having a child already, that would truly be traumatizing for you and I do not believe that this will be good for you emotionally in the long run. There are PLENTY of options for single pregnant mothers. You need to call your local county social worker and ask for resources, places you can go. They will definitely be able to get you into subsidized housing, help you with food and childcare. I applaud you for giving your baby life, no matter the circumstances. Please stay strong!

Nicole - posted on 05/21/2013

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212-7370221 this is the number for sisters of life there in New York!!

I really suggest calling them. the sisters here in toronto have helped a lot of mothers =)

God Bless

Brittany - posted on 05/21/2013

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Destinee Jenkins advice was on point listen to her every one needs goverment assist at some point but its not meant to stay on there forever just to get started good-luck chick and every word she sai is true and helpful been there done that but my story was i was 17 pregnant still in school but by the time i was 20 i had left my child father and had a good job buying my own house as a single mother!!!! You can do it chick just dnt give up and keep the faith!!!!

Monica - posted on 05/21/2013

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adoption is another option, but think long and hard before doing that as well.
I've been where you are and I know how you feel. our children are our legacy.
praying does help a lot.

Tara - posted on 05/21/2013

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Have u thought about adoption and depending on where u live I'm sure there is some shelters that help young moms good luck Hun

Monica - posted on 05/21/2013

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don't get an abortion, you will regret it. contact your welfare office, you can apply for food stamps, money for an apartment or pay your mother rent and daycare.
and since you are on the internet, start selling on ebay to make some xtra money, just don't tell them you are doing that.
what state are you in?

Stacey - posted on 05/21/2013

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Adoption is a wonderful option, when I had gotten pregnant at 19 I placed the baby for adoption and the couple she went to are amazing and she was given the life I was unable to give her, 11 years later after being able to complete college I am now married with a 2 yr old, there is emergency assistance out there too, which will help you immediately I would check with your county. There is always help out there for people who truly need it.

Melissa - posted on 05/21/2013

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Im sorry you are going through this, u should check in to adoption. i got pregnant when i was 17, took me until i was 8 months pregnant to convince me that adoption was the best choice. its was the hardest thing to do but when i think about the life she has now it makes me happy. She will be 13 this year. just be strong and do what you need to do. Please do not think abortion is the way out do not let others sway your decision.

Christina - posted on 05/21/2013

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keep the baby if you feel that is the right thing to do. if your boyfriend doesn't want it, he should've taken measures to prevent the pregnancy. i wouldn't stay with him though if he keeps pushing for an abortion.

i undestand you wanting to go to school and "get on with your life", but i'm not so sure that that is an option for you at this point. it sounds like you need to work to support your babies and perhaps you can fit school in on a PT basis for now. it is a luxury to not work when you have two babies to support, and considering you have no other help that is a luxury you cannot afford. i had a daughter at 20 years old and it took me 7 years of going to school on and off just to get my AA degree because i had to support her on my own (left her dad when she was a year and a half). for now i would be looking into any housing programs in your area that can help you so you aren't homeless, and get a job, ANY JOB, asap so that you can start saving money to move out. ask your mom to give you some time to find a place, and then be active in actually doing so. don't wait around hoping she will change her mind. even with one child you need to grow up and act like the adult that you are. it will be tough, but you can do it on your own.

good luck!

Destinee - posted on 05/21/2013

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That is a very hard situation. It might be time for you to consider giving this baby up for adoption (I applaud you for not wanting an abortion-many in your situation jump straight to that; I commend your courage and conviction). That, however, is a decision that is often difficult and heart-breaking. Today, you can do open adoptions, so you'd have a better chance at knowing your baby, although you would not be raising him/her. For your living situation, call your local women's shelters; many of them are there specifically for women in your situation, and can help you get back on your feet. I don't know where you are, but where I'm from, our local Baptist church converted an abandoned motel into sort of apartments for homeless families-perhaps you could find something like that in your area? Call your local social services/human services, as well-get on food stamps and such if you aren't already (I won't just assume you are-I'm 23, and my 2 kids and I are coming off of it). They may also be able to point you in the direction of places that can help you with a place to live. Call around to apartments and such; look into people wanting a roommate-explain your situation. Many are willing to bend rules to help those in your situation. Best of luck to you, sweetheart, and keep your chin up! There are better days ahead of you, I promise. I was once in your shoes-21, pregnant with a 2 year old son as well, and homeless. I'm 23 now with two boys, my own home, and a good job. You, too, shall find your way out of this storm. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

Debra - posted on 05/21/2013

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It sounds like you are in a difficult situation. I'm sorry for that. From the sounds of it, you really are pretty desperate and ready to move forward and make a better life for your self and daughter, but can't bring yourself to have an abortion. Both of those show a lot of maturity on your part, which makes me think that your're going to be ok. I think that you should definitely look into adoption. I personally have a number of friends who are wonderful people, well situated in life and in a great position to be parents, and who want that more than anything in the world, but can't. You're in a position to give someone that incredible gift, and at the same time make a decision that will help you to take care of yourself and your daughter in a way that she deserves, and hand pick parents that you can feel good about raising your child. I don't know if that's the right answer but I hope that you look into it and find out. And if you do, then you won't have regrets later on, what ever you decide to do.

Lisa - posted on 05/21/2013

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Turn your life over to Christ, don't get an abortion! You don't need a boyfriend who would want you to kill your child! I'm not a religious fanatic, I'm a Christian who believes that God can work out every situation if you only trust his word. Please, please look for a Church of Christ in your area. Maybe a women's shelter. I'm sorry that your mom is not their for you but God is. He understands like no other. We all make mistakes and can be forgiven. God bless you, I hope you do what's right.

Jennifer - posted on 05/21/2013

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Please don't kill that poor baby! I was a single mom of 2 also & it was really tough! But I got a job & luckily got engaged when my youngest was just a few months old (her dad wanted me to abort too & I told him he was crazy) to a great guy. I'm now married and a stay at home mom. Yea, I'd be in a different place if I didn't have kids before marriage. But I love my children & would never change it for the world! Her smile makes every financial problem totally worth it. You will never regret raising your baby, or giving it to a family who desparately wants one and can't conceive. But don't cave & believe that"your body" ever had 2 DNAs or 2 hearts! God blessed you with those babies for a reason!

Nicole - posted on 05/21/2013

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i Just saw you are in NY... there are catholic organizations that help single mothers and young mothers. I dont know the name of one in NY but the sisters of life here shoukd have some contact info. Ill check for you.

as for your mom - you have to worry about you and your kids NOT your mother.
if you apply for goverment help and housing and you get it, and you want to go, take ur kids and go - if u leave the house with ur kids, its ur right!

if she doesnt let u leave her home, and u want to stay there - then she doesnt really want u to leave. if she makes u leave, u pick up ur daughter and walk out with her. if she calls the cops, its ur child - they cant take her from u because ur mom wants her.

Stay true to yourself and your kids and look for help from the goverment or catholic agencies.

Hold in there and keep strong!

I was a teen mom too. it was hard but now I have my 3 healthy boys - and everything i went through was worth it!

Nicole - posted on 05/21/2013

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SISTERS OF LIFE!

they are nuns that help mothers in your situation!
They are in Toronto - Scarborough. They help with place to live etc. really I suggest going to them.

Be strong and PLEASE don't kill your child. Those who suggest it have no IDEA what an abortion really means and the long term implications!!

Stay strong and good luck

Melissa - posted on 05/21/2013

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Not judging but y didn't u protect yuhself it 2 young 2 have 2 kids & why your bf want u 2 have abortion? Is this the same father of the 2yr old? 3rd I don't believe in abortion it's a sin. It have shelters that u can go to apply 4 welfare a lot of government programs. But u can't want it mothers help when u keep gettin pregnant 1 should of been a lesson not being mean but kids are expensive I have 2 but my husband & I both work so we don't feel it its hard u'll have to put off school 4 a while I'd kids come 1st now

Melissa - posted on 05/21/2013

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Don't get an abortion, do adoption, there are many couples out there that can't have children...and then you can possibly have an open adoption, and keep in contact with your child.

User - posted on 05/20/2013

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does she realize that she is practically using your child for assistance?

I have known plenty of people wiht assistance and people on their case move out and (yes its fraud,but it will catch up to them eventually) keep them on their case, until the office finds out. Then of course they drop them, but you wont have to fool with it unless you are seeking assistance yourself.
Have you tried getting a job if you dont alreayd have one? During the time now your staying with her you can save up to move out on your own or with your boyfriend. And if he dont already have a job, he should get one. With two income you will be able to make it. And if you still dont make enough to make ends meet then apply for housing. It is there for working people to get back on their feet, and can really help you expecially having two children.

Im glad you dont want an abortion, its really not the right way to go about things. If you can keep and love that baby. They are a blessing and even though times may seem tough, theres a reason for this baby.
Just do what you have to, even if that means taking your mom to court, you can move ahead in your life and get away from the drama, you just are gonna have to work hard to get you and your family a home of your own. You need to raise your children in a stable home with preferably both parents, they need the best from you and your boyfriend, and dont deserve any less

Natasha - posted on 05/20/2013

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Adoption would be best option so many familys can't have children and it is so sad, i know wonderful ladys who could give a child everything they deserve but can't have children, so i find it very sad that someone would get pregnant when there is ways of preventing pregnancy then to take easy option out and abort the baby, use protection if you don't want to take the risk of getting pregnant, if people want to lay down and have unprotected sex and take the risk of getting pregnant either stand up and grow up and be the mother the child deserves or adopt it to a mother who can't have children

Jessica - posted on 05/19/2013

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Honey maybe she is just upset that you are going to be going through this again and she doesn't want to see you struggle. Moms don't always react the best but they have good intentions. Maybe if you just talk to her things will settle

Shaneequa - posted on 05/19/2013

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I tried applying for housing I live in NYC but they denying me because my mom don't want to take my daughter of her case n in order for me to do so I have to take my mom to court n I don't want her to get cut off n messed up

Shaneequa - posted on 05/19/2013

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The thing is she doesn't want me to leave Cuz wen I try she makes up alot of excuses n my mom never helped me with my first n she still doesn't I took care n still takin care of her with the help of myself and my sister u don't depend on my mom for anything I never even asked her for money. She wants me to leave but leave my daughter with her so she can live better with the public assistance I am young yes but I never made my mom or even asked her for help n in dnt plan on too.. I don't wanna do adoption I kno I won't be able to go threw with it.

Mary - posted on 05/19/2013

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If you can't go though an abortion go wit adoption! There are people out there that can't have babies! Think long and hard! If your a prayer then pray! You never know you mom may come around!

Tinamarie - posted on 05/17/2013

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I understand . I.got pragnant at 16 . My.mom.made me live in her back house which was not very nice looking. But i went ahead and graduated and now im doing great . I work and found a guy who treats me right. It may be tough at the beginning but threw time it will get easier. I had a second child also. Every body said how dumb it was but its not so hard. I got on housing that will help alot and assistance. Trust me things will get better.

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