10 year old daughter wants to know about sex

Ragen - posted on 09/20/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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My 10 year old daughter wants to knw about sex. She is a very intelligent child, but I don't know whatis a good age to tell her about sex, or "have the talk" can anyone tell me when a good age is I don't want her to hear untrue things from her friends but yet in my eyes she is still my little girl, can someone please help.

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Stephanie - posted on 09/20/2009

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people as young as 10 these days are having sex, i actually know a few, and its more like a game thing than anyting else, i also have a friend who became pregnant just gone 13 years old,

i myself lost my virginity at 15 trew peer presure and i hadnt a clue what i was doing or the reality of pregnancy, thankfully my mam put me on the implantation and when i was 18 i met my babys dad, i got pregnant at 19 and had my son just gone 20,

i'd tell her but describe it as a action people do to show there love to one another
maybe she'l view it differenly now to what all the media and publicity sex is labelled as these days, from music videos having half naked girls to 13 year olds wanting boob jobs

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Coglehowell - posted on 09/28/2009

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Emily is 11 and she knows everything there is to know about sex. I told her everything because I dont ever want a boy to tell her that she should just try it or to take advantage of her I wanted her to know she always has a right to say no and I felt no one would tell her the truth like I would so believe me I didnt leave anything out

Melissa - posted on 09/22/2009

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They do the "physical changes" talk in 4th grade here. So my daughter was sent home some information for us to review, and so we could know what to expect as far as questions go. My daughter didn't bring it up for quite a while, so I took her out to dinner one night and had gone to the library and read through a few kid friendly books to take with us. We had dinner and during desert I explained that there was a lot of information that she would be learning in the next few years, but that the books would give her some good information on the questions she might be having. She read through the books and then we planned another date night so we talk about the questions she had! I tried to stay away from the sex specific questions, but realized that it was much better coming from me than anyone else. So with a deep breath we talked about the basics. I think she knows enough to be smart and plan on having many more date nights in the future!



Good luck to you, this is a tough one!

Jenny - posted on 09/22/2009

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from personal experience, i say tell her! please tell her! my mom explained just the basics to me when i started wearing a bra at 8, but never explained that there are certain things that are inappropriate, so when my 19-yr-old cousin sexually abused me when i was 12, i couldn't figure out what was going on, what i did to encourage it, and that i could say no. the sooner a child knows what is and is not appropriate, ESPECIALLY in the sex arena, the better. there are children having children out there, and it's tragic.
i can't emphasize enough how important (in my mind) it is to educate a child about sex.

Tara - posted on 09/22/2009

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To be honest she probably already knows a little bit, she has most likely heard some things from her friends.. kids are very curious, which is ok. I know when I asked my mom, it was because I wanted to see if what I heard was true. Just remember to be open minded and ask her if she has any questions.. make her feel really comfortable with talking to you so when she is a teenager the open communication feels natural to her. I just remember the one mistake my mom made with me was making sex feel like a topic "we just dont talk about". Even though my mother and I had and have an awesome relationship it was just known that sex was one thing I shouldnt talk about with her.

Ashley - posted on 09/22/2009

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tell her! its better she gets it from you than anyone else. Be open and honest with her. Its verry sad but kids are doing and learning things at a younger age these days and its better to be safe and let her know she can talk to you about anything. Not saying they are doing anything at her age but prepairing her at her age is a good thing. She will always be your little girl thats why you need to be the one to let her know whats going to go on in her life and prepair her for that. Thats a wonderfull thing that she came to you about it instead of someone else so enbrase that.

Coco - posted on 09/20/2009

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i think all the momssi it right!! she does need to hear it from you,or she will hear it from someone at school!!! like they said,she may not need all the details,but just answer all her questions truthfully!! good luck

Helen - posted on 09/20/2009

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definatly talk - she doesnt need to know all of the details just the risks, responsibilities and the right to say no! I would advise all mums of teenagers to talk to them early. When i was giving birth to my son there was a girl who delivered the day before me and she was celebraiting her 12th birthday!!!! She had never been told anything about sex so she had found out for her self!!!!!!!

Ragen - posted on 09/20/2009

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Well I guess its time for a mommy daughter dinner. We have them when I want to talk to her about something where there is no little sister interrupting or phone ringing. Then I will have to take the little one for a mommy daughter dinner so theres no jealousy lol

Lucy - posted on 09/20/2009

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I would definately talk to her about it, be glad she's come to you to ask questions! There's no reason not to explain the basics and talk about it as something that adults do. You could also talk about relationships and trust etc and this will help lay a good foundation. There are plenty of good books out there about sex and bodies that might help you if you feel unsure where to start. There are also books for children to help explain things. My mum had a great one called 'The Body Book' i still have it and will show it to my children when they ask questions. I agree that it's better coming from you and I don't think it's a question of age, if you wait until she's 16 it may be too late! She's clearly intelligent and wants to know more, this is your chance to explain things in a way that you'd like her to understand. My mum told me about contraception when i was about 14, i don't think she needs all that sort of information yet but the basics won't hurt. Hope it goes well xxx

Andrea - posted on 09/20/2009

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I would tell her just the basic information and not really go into detail unless she asks. Also tell her that this subject is "sensitive" and should not be talked about with her friends. She should her it from you rather somewhere it might scare her. Thats what I would do.

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