2nd Baby on the way... Worried about jealousy!!

Megan - posted on 10/28/2010 ( 11 moms have responded )




I am 5 months pregnant with my second child and am worried how my 2yr old is gonna react...
Any hints or tips on how to handle the jealousy??


Christina - posted on 10/28/2010




This worked with all my kids. I had a gift wrapped up at the hospital so when my older kids came to see the new baby, the new baby had a present just for them! That really worked. Also, include them in helping. Your two year old can get diapers for you, can help you pat the baby on the back, can throw out diapers, ect. Let your two year old hold the baby every time he/she asks to. And make sure you do plenty of snuggle time with your two year old. I would put aside 15mins a day that belong only to my older child and even if my baby began to cry, I would say, "Now now baby, it is your big brother's time for mommy." Fifteen minutes won't hurt the baby, and if it is at a set time every day, say 10am no exceptions, then there is no jealousy because your 2yr old can predict this as his/her time and knows you care enough to give him/her your undivided attention.


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Nightingale - posted on 05/29/2013




Get your first involved with the process. I showed my son at two the pictures in the what to expect book of the stages of his baby sister.. How big she was and what she was doing..got him a baby doll and worked with him on changing it, and when his sister was born and that look of utter disappointment enveloped his little face, I pulled out a wrapped gift from his new baby sister cause she was sooo excited to meet him and knew he was there the whole time talking to her! He was AMAZED she remembered him! After that, he introduced HIS baby to others cause I already had a baby.. him..so this one was HIS!!

Bella - posted on 10/30/2010




hi theres 2years 9 months between my son and daughter, we included him in everything and for the first couple of days after she was born had it just us it was hard saying to family we want to be on our own for few days but they recpected that it was inportant that way we all bonded and it wasnt all people coming round too see the new baby making him feel left out (plus the novolty of her was worn off with him by then lol) and we opened all her presents at once and asked my mum dad etc too get him a little something so hes not left out, we also got him a present from her and her a present from him, they are 4 and 17months now and they do have sibling fall outs but are so close we just made sure they were both treated fairly and equally, good luck x

Liz - posted on 10/29/2010




Hi. I have a set of two year old b/g twins, and a three and a half month old son. It was rough at first transitioning everyone, but they both do really well with their little brother now. First and foremost, try and get your two year old involved with helping, and make them understand that you still love them. Take time with just your oldest while your new born is napping so that they can see that you still love them and will still spend time doing stuff just with them as well as with the new baby.

Brittany - posted on 10/29/2010




i think that you should jus include your oldest while you are pregnant let her rub your belly and feel the baby kick and move keep her close to you then when you hav the second baby she is goin to want to see this new baby and be near it because she wants to get to kno someone she didnt see while you were pregnant include the oldest in every thing you do with the new born like changing diapers, handing you the bottle or the pacifier then she will feel good and like you are showing equal amt of atention beacause wat child doesnt enjoy being the oldest and feeling grown up! jealousy in children usually stem from showing one child more atention then the other soo as long as you include the 2 year old in every thing she will be fine i gaurantee it! good luck and congrats on your bundly of joy!

Tina - posted on 10/29/2010




I have a 3yr old son and just had a baby back in june he's 4mnths now My 3yr old is very jealous of his brother so what we do is if we do something or get something for the baby we get him also something. If im feeding my 4mnth old im also having my other son at the table with a boook or puzzle helping him at the same time i try to be fair as much as possible and to pay attention as much as i can. Just be patient :) Good luck

Jessica - posted on 10/28/2010




My daughter was 15 months old when my son was born so I know your worry! The main thing is to let them help with the baby, let them bring diapers and the wipes. If you feel that your two year old is calm enough let them hold the baby with your assistance of course. I always let her kiss and hug the baby, it makes them feel special and needed for something. I had no jealousy problems. My daughter is 3 now and my son is 2, they love each other and have a very good relationship. Good luck! and Congrats on the pregnancy

Amanda - posted on 10/28/2010




Having your other child help you with the new baby is a big thing. Tell him/her how important their job as the older sibling is and that you really appreciate any help. Make sure to involve him/her in activities you do with baby. This will relieve a lot of new baby anxiety and the fear that you do not love him/her as much because he does not have all of your attention anymore. That is all jealousy really is between siblings. They want just your attention and to know that they are loved and feel as important as the new baby.

Marie - posted on 10/28/2010




prepare your 2 year old by explaining there is a baby in your tummy, then when baby arrives bring your 2 year old in and introduce them in the hospital and explain the baby is coming home with you and is their little brother or sister. Let the 2 yr old be involved as much as possible, holding the baby while sitting with you, helping with feeding (if bottle) if breast feeding helping with burping, holding burp cloth. Help with changing by holding on clean diaper and handing you it when ready. When you can make time for the two of you, have daddy take newborn and you go play with the 2 yr old in their room or outside just so they know they are special still also. Good luck and as long as you remember the newborn is not the only child you should be alright

Lisa - posted on 10/28/2010




I was in the same situation recently and was worried about the same thing. What I did was I kept my 2yr old very involved with my pregnancy. I let him come with me to ultrasound appts and told him every time the baby moved and let him feel. I also made sure to use the baby's name (if you have one picked out already, it helps him to understand after the baby is born that that was who you were talking about for so long). Talk about the baby often and let him/her know that he/she is going to be a big bro/sis. Get them excited. Show them how to wash bottles, and practice changing diapers on dolls. Then let him/her help after the baby is born. I did this and when my son was born, my 2yr old was more excited then jealous. He is 3 months old now and my 2yr old still loves to help. Just let your 2yr old know that the baby is his or her brother or sister and make it exciting. Remind your child that you love them (which is a given, I know) and your family should adapt fine with it's new addition. Congrats on the new baby and good luck!

Emma - posted on 10/28/2010




all i can say is include your 2 year old in everything like fetvhing you nappies etc! dont ever make them feel pushed out! my 2 year old now 3 year old was a nightmare for the first 5 months! she was insanely jelous! all i can say also is give your 2 year old time to get used to the baby as its a big change from one on one attention to having to share the attention! but i did have twins so think that made it harder for her! good luck!

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