3 it's driving me nuts!!!

Felicia Neikolle - posted on 07/10/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )

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So here's the problem ... my hubby is still attached to an ex via child. The little girl is 10 and has even started calling me "Mom" which should be a good thing except it seems she only does it when she wants something or is trying to smooth things out from an earlier problem. The situation gets even more convoluted by the fact that she isn't his biological child ... and to make matters worse he doesn't even have a legal tie. I know ... I know ... walk away right? It's not that easy when you've been "Daddy" for over 8 yrs to a child. I love her and consider her to be one of my kids ... she just doesn't seem to welcome me as family. She doesn't even seem to welcome me as a friend as I have tried to be at the least for her. Disciplining her is hard since I am a firm believer in corporal punishment and there are no rights to be able to administer it with her. We do time out and make her write sentences and such but what good is it when she's only there for two days max and the mother/ex doesn't bother to enforce our punishment (despite us being expected to follow theirs). What makes it so bad (besides the fact that I feel left out all the time especially since my two and her always fight over being the closest to Daddy since my two haven't seen their actual dad in two yrs and the other one has never seen hers) is my two (especially my little girl age 7) follow her lead and then it's non-stop chaos with no one listening to the rules ... I need HELP!! If we push too hard ... she won't come back ... and we'd really like to be able to keep her in our lives but can't stand the way things are right now ... we are at an impass.

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Amanda - posted on 07/10/2009

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I can understand your husbands position completly. I am a step mom to the 2 most amazing kids. I have been mommy to them for a little over 2 years now and I could never just walk away from them no matter what. He is a good person for feeling that way too.



You should really check out our group called Step Moms. There are alot of really supportive women who can relate to what we go through everyday. They might really be able to help you out!

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