3 year old talking about death

Kt_ann06 - posted on 01/20/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My 3 yphas been saying things like "mom die" or dad die. I have kind of brushed it off and not thought much about it just told him we dont saythings lke that. Well hes been at my parents for a couple days and my mom said this morning he told my dad you die then i only have one grandpa..this has me completely freaked out! Ive heard those stories where kids say things like that and they end up coming true. Does anyone elses kids say things like this? I dont really know what to do. Im not sure where its coming from.

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Chet - posted on 01/20/2014

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Our oldest was very interested in death around the time she was three and a half. It was different than your son. She realised she had relatives she could never meet because they had died and she was very upset about it for a period of time.

One of our sons also went through his own interest in death around the same age - imaginative play included death, he was interested in killing bugs and ants, etc.

So yes, I think some preschoolers will naturally become interested in death as they learn about the world. Some kids will ask questions outright, others may include death as a theme in their play, some might speak about death in an uncomfortable way not fully understanding how what they say sounds to adults.
My thought is that it's best to educate kids in an age appropriate way.

How do you think your son means what he says? Do you think he's just made the connection that living things die and he's concerned about it? Is he asking for confirmation that people don't live forever? Do you think he doesn't understand what death is and doesn't really understand what he's saying?

I would also look at the kinds of tv, movies, and video games that your son is exposed to. While I do think it's normal for preschoolers to be curious about death tv, movies and video games are often not the best place to learn about it.

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