3yr old daughter fine with peeing on potty but is now refusing to poopy on it...

Amanda - posted on 07/22/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 3yrs old and is in a pretty tough situation right now. Her father and I split a month after she was potty trained a little before her 2nd birthday. She was doing great prior to us seperating, peeing and poopin on the potty with no issues at all and slowly after we split she started being petrified of pooping on it. She will go into the bathroom all by herself and pee, but when it comes to her having to go poopy she runs to her room to hide and tries her HARDEST to keep it in, I'll try to coach her into the bathroom and sit her on the potty but she is literally petrified of it. Screams bloody murder and trembles like someone is trying to kill her.



I know that she is going through a great deal of stress because of her father and I not being together, although its been almost 2 years now but I also know for a fact that a big part of the blame IS HER FATHER. He lives in an unfinished basement with no bathroom, the bathroom is in the upstairs part of the house and I know he doesn't actively ask her if she needs to use the bathroom so she just goes where ever and when ever she wants in her pants while she is with him. I've asked him time and time again to please work with her, and he denies her even having a problem with him, according to him she poops on the potty fine at his house...which I find VERY hard to believe with the way she acts when I get her back from him.



Please help, any pointers or advice would be great. I've tried everything, sitting on the big potty while putting her on hers, enticing her with rewards such as treats or stickers...nothing is working. It's getting to be a huge struggle and problem especially when we are out somewhere. I'm so lost, upset, and angry (not with her, but with her father) Thanks!

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Does she use a little "potty chair" when she is at your house? If so, send it with her when she visits her father. If not, I would buy one and use it at your house and send it along with her when she visits him. Hope this helps!!

Amanda - posted on 07/22/2009

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I totally agree Marta, thank you. I definitely know this has affected her in many ways and it just breaks my heart. I left a bad situation in hopes for a better life for her and I and I just feel like now it has made things worse for her :-(

I'm just trying so hard to make sure she is happy and healthy and do everything right for her. I wish her father was on the same page...but there is LOTS of issues with him that are just out of my control unfortunately. I get so drained physically and mentally becuase of it all sometimes. I'm glad I found circle of moms!

Marta - posted on 07/22/2009

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I could be wrong but she might be associating going potty with mommy and daddy seperating and that could be a major influence on her not wanting to go. Her dad is most likely contributing to the problem by not taking an active role in the process. Unfortunately with this situation you might just have to keep encouraging her until she can explain to you what's going on in her mind or until she's old enough to understand that mommy and daddy not living together anymore has nothing to do with her or her ability or inability to use the potty. She might think that because she's no longer a cute little baby who needs mommy and daddy to take care of her all the time that that's why mommy and daddy broke up so if she starts reverting mommy and daddy will get back together. I would discuss this with your doctor or a child psychologist; especially if she starts reverting in other areas.

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