4 1/2 year old whinning alot & screaming all the time? what do you do????

[deleted account] ( 4 moms have responded )

my oldest daughter gets SO upset sometimes and wants to be babied. she will yell and scream and whine dramaticlly with no tears in site. what would you do to handle this type of behavior??


View replies by

Nora - posted on 06/30/2014




I don't know. My kids are grown now. I used to work in a grocery store and every day I'd hear some bratty little kid screaming all through the store wanting everything they saw. Finally the mom would cave in at the counter and let them have what they wanted. It was so horrible, I've developed a real dislike for whiny kids. I just can't be around them anymore. If I have the misfortune to be around one, I glare at them and they usually stop whining, so they obviously know not to do that, and know the effect it has on people. I was stuck on a flight with one horrible little 3 year old who whined the whole time and totally ruined the flight for not only her family, but for me. Her mom must have been on Prozac because all she said was, "Now Suzie, stop whining or I'll make you sit by your father." The little girl would whine "No" right on cue. Her father sat in his seat with headphones on the entire flight. This seems to be an American thing. I'd see people from other countries come into the store and their kids never whined, ever. Maybe some of you with whiny kids should talk to them since what you are doing doesn't work.

[deleted account]

ignore it.

she will do whatever it takes to get a response from you, if she knows that this behavior irritates you and will most likely get her what she wants she will continue it.

try to ignore her next time she does this...maybe you can say "mommy doesn't like it when you whine, please speak to me calmly" then walk away. DO not go back to her. she will probably continue to whine and scream because she is now realizing that her method is no longer effective. Eventually when she understands that you don't respond to her when she whines, she will slow down and eventually stop.

when she stops you have to reward her for her new behavior...shower her with praise and cuddles.

most of the time we tend to get mad about the bad things, and forget to praise the good.

good luck.

Schyla - posted on 08/27/2010




I ignore it for the most part and then calmly tell her to go to her room and find my happy girl or she can stay there till she dose (I have a whinny 4 and 1/2 year old too) Mostly it works she's not getting the attention she is after and then when she comes back out (with a smile) I will cuddle and shower her with lots of love and positive reinforcement. We also make a HUGE deal when she behaves in such away that we find appropriate (sitting still for more then 2 seconds, helping her little sister, picking up her toys without being asked) and when she reverts to the whining we ask her to please go to her room and find our happy big girl again.

D'Etta - posted on 08/27/2010




If you're at home or in a place where it's possible... the best advice is to just ignore it. Bad attention is still attention and as long as they get it, it justifies their actions. I have a 6 and 4 year old and when they get like that at home I just find something to do in another room, they'll stop the tantrum after a minute, come find me and apologize. If we're out in public... I *try* to keep my voice calm and tell them "I cant understand you when you whine. I need you to talk to me right. Stop crying and use your words. If they're too upset to even listen, I just give them a hug. Usually it's just that minute they need to calm down. It doesn't mean they get their way, but I want them to know that I hear them, I understand, and *this* is why we cant get that new game right now...

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms