4y old boy, needs to know that we not going back to our old home to dad

CHRISTINE - posted on 05/10/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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HEY , i have a wonderful 4yr old boy and i have come out of an domestic abuse from his dad , its onley been a few weeks and his realy clicked on , what i need to know is how should i tell him that we wont be living with dad anymore.

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Vanessa - posted on 05/13/2013

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oh i feel for you :( my son was the same age when he was abandoned by his father. So so so so hard :(
I was lucky in a way that my ex wasn't abusive - he just didn't care about us and only wanted to live his life with a lady he'd been having an affair with for over a year (i had NO idea about it)
I tucked my son up into bed with me and explained that Daddy had made a choice not to live with us anymore and even though we might not agree with his choice, we had to respect it. I then told him I'd never leave him ever and that we were a team from now on. He cried and I held him til he fell asleep and then went to sleep too. He slept with me for a few months as he was afraid of being left alone. That's what he needed so I did it happily. Good thing about this age is that although they feel things so deeply - they also forget quickly and if you can endure the first few months it'll be ok in the end.
Don't go back to his father - you don't want him thinking it's ok to treat someone you are supposed to love so badly. You have the chance now to shape your son and be there for him - good luck!!

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