5 year old showing signs of Separation Anxiety?? Please Help!!

Ashley - posted on 08/26/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Hello Everyone

Just wanted some advice and hope someone has either gone through a similar experience or has any knowledge on the subject and can help me. I have two sons a 5 year old and a 4 year old. Recently (i'd say maybe the past 2 weeks) it seems my oldest is showing signs of separation anxiety. I have no idea what has brought this on or why he's doing it but I don' t know what to do or if it's even that. Anytime I leave a room he has to run to see where I am or call out to me. If I go to the bathroom 2 seconds later I can hear him coming to check on me and he knows i'm in the bathroom but he'll still say mommy are you in the bathroom? This all started with him being afraid of the dark. Before when i'd put him to bed he'd ask for the light off and door closed now he can't have the door closed and needs to have the hall light on. He was crying at bed time saying he was scared but that seems to have passed but now when I say good night to them and give them their hug and kiss he'll ask me over and over if i'm going to be in the living room and that I won't leave. Once I've put them to bed and go in the living room he'll call out for me at least 3 times just to say Mommy I like you or he'll call me back in the room because he wants another hug and kiss. Now their dad and I are separated and have been for close to 2 years. We share custody so ever few days we switch off. I have no idea if their dad has left them alone. Him and his girlfriend both smoke, live in an apartment but don't have a balcony. I have asked their dad and he says he never has but he has lied to me on a few occasions so I wouldn't be surprised if he is lying. The boys did mention something about him leaving them alone the other day and now how they only go for a smoke one at a time now. I have NEVER left them alone other than to go have a smoke myself but I do have a balcony and they know where I am. If I do go out he keeps coming to the door and opening it or calling me through the window to say Mommy I like you. On the weekend my boyfriend took them out to get their haircuts do some groceries and get some new fish. They had what they call boy time (which they love doing with him). They were fine never asked for me once and were excited to go when they left. When they got home I had to run to the store quickly and he freaked right out. Screaming crying and jumping around. He got his little brother going so the two of them were freaking right out and I was gone for literally 10 minutes. I really don't know what to do anymore. I always reassure him and tell him i'm not going anywhere. I may get a little frustrated with him at times because I don't know what to do to make him relax and know i'm not going to leave him. He is in daycare and starting school next week. Could this be bringing it on? The fact that he's going somewhere new? When I have them and leave for work in the mornings (my mom brings them to daycare for me) he gives me a hug and kiss and says bye and is completely fine with it. If anyone has any advice I would greatly appreciate it. Sorry for the long post!

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JENNIFER - posted on 08/28/2013

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Hello, Every thing will be okay, I sort of understand what you are going through, I have work with children for over 10 years and I seen this before and has dealt with it personal. My son is 7 and he was the first chlid i never had to put him in daycare so when i did enrolled him in school he cry for 2 months all day in school but he got over it . I felt bad because his dad and I was not living together at the time I felt like he was overwhelm with his parents not together and he was in school by his self but after 2 months he was find. i think it is us as parents that get so work up kids need time to adjust to new enivornment soon every thing will work out just keep reassure that mommy is coming back you have to stay here while I go to work. Sometimes it takes a while for kids to understand but soon they will.

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