A 10yr old sharing a room with a newborn?

Anita - posted on 04/27/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I have a daughter who's turning 10 next month and am excpecting a second daughter in Sept. I currently rent my apt. through a subsidized program. They have informed me I do not quailify for a 3 bedroom voucher due to that my children are of the same sex... regardless of the age difference?! Am I the only one who thinks this is insane?



For this reason I'm considering buying a home. I'm afraid of taking that step simply because it's such a huge one & I don't want to fail at it. Then again, what bigger step than motherhood right? I need some advice. I'm not married so, in many ways I'm doing this on my own. My boyfriend's very supportive, but I explained to him I am not willing to get into it together with him unless we're talking marriage... so we'll see.

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Joanna - posted on 04/30/2009

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me personally i would never put a newborn in the same room just because your other daughter is never going to get any sleep due to that baby crying if anything put the baby in your room not in your bed but in you room. its not fair to your other daughter to share a room with a new born . that baby is gong to be crying .i am in the same boat as you are but i am having a boy and i dont get assistance but it is really hard to find a three bedroom so until we do he is gong to sleep in a bassinet or crib in mine and my husbands room

Sandra - posted on 04/29/2009

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My 9 yr old shares a room with her 7 mth old sister and it seems to be working. The baby only needs a space to sleep and my 9 yr old loves to wake up to her in the morning. It does get a bit hard with midday naps but my daughter knows that she just has to take what she needs to anothr area of the house for an hour or so. If she has a sleep over or something they get to take over the loungeroom with the pull out sofa it's an excuse for her to get extra special treatment. I'm not saying it's a lways easy and thigs will need to change as she becomes a teenager but it's working for now and as long as my 9 yr old is fine with it it will stay that way. It has taught her patience and responsibilty I've always taught my girls to respect eachothers privacy and belongings and living in a small quarters you always have to make some sacrifice. Good luck. Talk to your daughter and see how she feels about the situation at her age she can be apart of these decisions as it affects her to.

Sara - posted on 04/29/2009

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I think that is a good idea about the marriage thing.. You want to make sure its forever if you are sharing finances. I think the baby won't need a different room then yours until the baby is one or so. Maybe even put a crib or something in your room and sleep on the couch if the baby is easily woken. I hope this helps!

Anita - posted on 04/29/2009

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thank u both for taking the time to read my post & reply. plz don't misinterpret, i am def grateful for the assistance i receive. however, i just don't think its a good idea for my little ones to share a room and i'm looking @ all my options. my 10yr old is feeling a lil jealous over this new baby. it's understandable with her being an only child for so long. i don't want her to feel her space is being invaded or anything like that.



i actually make pretty good money although not to much not to qualify for assistance. i am looking into purchasing a home now becaused based on my research i might actually pay less monthly on a mortgage than i do on rent! i have signed up for a homeownership class so, we'll c how it goes.



as far as getting married solely for the purpose of buying a home that's not the case at all. sorry if i miscommunicated. :-) my bf and i lived together for some time, but his father needed him and he went bk home, but is moving bk in now that we're having a baby. i want to marry him because and i love him... but if we don't get married i still intend to purchase the house on my own.



we'll c wut comes! wish me good luck! i'll def keep you both posted.

Jamie - posted on 04/27/2009

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Quoting Emily:

I was ten when one of my sisters was born and I didn't want to share a room with a baby. My parents kept her in their room for the first year then we moved to a bigger house so I understand your frustration. The question is- can you afford to buy if you currently get rent subsidy? Would it be cheaper to rent a bigger house on your own than to make the jump to buying? Still- it never hurt kids to have to share a room.



I too question if you can buy when you get govt assistance. If you qualify for needing help Im not sure you could quliafy for a loan as that is also based on income (i was a loan officer about 5 yrs ago, hated it) I also agree with maybe renting first. Find out if you can handle supporting a home rather than an apartment. Sign a 1 yr lease, move in with your boyfriend and when that lease is up think about buying and your future marriage, Dont rush into getting married just because you want a house. Its a big step and shouldnt just be based on wanting to purchase a house. In my opinion its better to live with someone before you get married, I mean its kinda like test driving tha car before you buy.

Emily - posted on 04/27/2009

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I was ten when one of my sisters was born and I didn't want to share a room with a baby. My parents kept her in their room for the first year then we moved to a bigger house so I understand your frustration. The question is- can you afford to buy if you currently get rent subsidy? Would it be cheaper to rent a bigger house on your own than to make the jump to buying? Still- it never hurt kids to have to share a room.

Jamie - posted on 04/27/2009

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I think its a tad not on the good side for a newborn to share a room with a 10yr old. Only because a newborn wakes up a lot and that in turn would wake up your 10yr old. I understand why you arent able to get a 3 bedroom, I mean think about it, some people have 4 kids, so should the mom be allowed to have a 5 bedroom apt or house. I think you should just be greatful that you receive the assistance you do. There are many people who arent able to pay thier mortgage or rent and dont qualify for these programs. So maybe until your infant starts sleeping through the night you can put him/her in the same room as you. Since you have to get up when the baby does you dont have to worry about her waking up your older child.

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