adoption for my 3 week old ?

Linda - posted on 06/12/2013 ( 19 moms have responded )

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I am 17 && just had a 3 week old boy annd just now sttartes too think of maybe putting him for adoption everything just got soo hard annd I can't help but too think if I was more reasponsible when it came to me && my bf having sex things would be better . We both stay at my house but my family is being so rude to him that it makes both of us feel uncomfortable their I promised id stay two weeks now parents are making me stay I turn 18 next month and then I can do what I want of course I jusst feel like i can't take a whole month of this im so depressed havent eaten waking up from sleep a nervous wreck . I feel like my parents are being selfish and controling by making me stay and just blame everythong on my bf which only makes me closer to him. But my bf loves our baby even named himafter him I just dont know what to do I take care of him but dont exactly fewl affectionate towards him I hope one day it all seems worth it but if it doesnt ?? Ughhh please help

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Kenzie - posted on 06/13/2013

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have you spoken to your doctor about postpartum depression? THis can make you an emotional wreck. you should seek a counselor asap. You don't want to make a decision like giving up your child without talking to someone first. I am a young mother with very little support from my spouse and I definitely understand how hard it is to have a new baby. It does get better, once you have a schedule in place and everyone adapts things aren't as stressful. I hope you will consider everyones advice. good luck.

Whitney - posted on 06/13/2013

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trust me you will regret it one day.. it is by far the hardest job in the world but it the most rewarding!! I understand you are 17 and have your whole life ahead of you but look at that little life you and your bf created! its a miracle in itself that everything goes the way its suppose to ..and you were meant ot have that baby no matter what people say... and you will be ok!... That baby will love you even more knowing his mom sacraficed so much for him and loved him and did the right thing by keeping him even tho it was going to be the hardest thing ever!

19 Comments

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Jodi - posted on 06/19/2013

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Chantal, as you have been advised, THIS is not the place to find your baby. Please don't continue. Also, the OP did not post this to have people arguing about the process of adoption, so can you leave it alone?

Chantal - posted on 06/19/2013

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Stacy, either way is perfectly legal. Home studies include background checks, financial statements, health clearance and a full study of your home and family. I assure you either way, no judge will approve a adoption without a legal process.

Rachel Fahnesto - posted on 06/19/2013

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I am a new mom also. 26 years old, married, and have a supportive family. The reason why I tell you this is because I have been crying and stressed too. No matter the age or circumstances, having a newborn is hard. Don't give up!! Do what you feel is best for your son, but get help first!

Chantal - posted on 06/18/2013

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Of coarse I hope you keep your baby and everything works out for the better for your little family. You may also have a case of post partum depression which is 100% curable. Alot of new moms crumble under the stress of having a new baby and feel like making rash decisions, you are not the first. I was simply trying to offer a option in a time of panic.

Chantal - posted on 06/18/2013

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Stacey Collins, apparently you have never looked up the process of adoption. 1st you need a home study 2nd you get a adoption attorney 3rd you find a mother who is adopting her baby out. I know this because like I said, I am currently trying to adopt and am already in the legal process.
Not to mention unless a family member is adopting your baby, everyone else is a stranger. Adoption is the process of finding the "right" stranger for you.

Enna - posted on 06/18/2013

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Yeah, I don't think this is the place to try to get someone's baby. Go to an adoption agency.
Linda, unless you are afraid you are going to hurt the baby, I would wait a little longer, then if you're still feeling like putting him up for adoption, then it's probably the right thing to do.

Chantal - posted on 06/17/2013

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Shauna do you people ever think straight? If she went to a adoption agency she would never see her baby again. Believe it or not some people have good hearts and want to offer a better solution in a time of panic. Not everyone in this world is out to hurt people.

Shauna - posted on 06/17/2013

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SHAME ON YOU CHANTAL!! this poor kid is going through an absolutely devastating time in her life and you're looking for her to email you so you can reap the rewards. i dont care how desperate you are. how bloody dare you take advantage of her!

Linda. the best option for you at this moment in time is to sit with your parents as a parent yourself and discuss your options thoroughly. this is about that tiny baby who needs you to make the right decision for him. not your boyfriend. (if hes any good he'll be the same and will stand by whatever decision you come to) it is entirely normal for the stresses of having a baby to make you feel drained. i've been there too. i was a teenage mum with the world against me but believe me, it was all worth it the day that little angel said mama! :)

Raquel - posted on 06/13/2013

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if you're even considering adoption after having this child and caring for him for three weeks...maybe you should give him to a family who will actually love him.

Jacqueline - posted on 06/13/2013

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I know it's rough but I would definitely suggest holding out for a month if you can. My baby is almost 2 months old now and he is such a great baby. But the first couple of weeks were VERY hard. I was so exhausted that it just made even the smallest issues seem terrible. If you can find a support person (your boyfriend, a best friend, family member, etc) who is willing to just sit and listen when you need to cry it out. Exercise and eating healthy also help boost your mood. Go for walks. Maybe just you and the baby or with your support person. I know it's hard to find time but if you have even 5 min sit by yourself, take deep breaths, clear your mind, stretch and try to relax. Things do get better.

Sarah Jane - posted on 06/13/2013

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Hey if you have some where like a mother and baby unit near to you that will probably help you as you will have support and you dont have to let anyone you dont want in and counselling may help but may not if you have a close friend to talk to and tell everything to that may help you to. You should be able to find out about Mother and Baby units from your health visitor as it seems that the situation you are in at the present isnt helping you to bond well with your child hope this helps

Linda - posted on 06/13/2013

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Yeaah I feel lile deep down inside I couldnt do it he looks just like maybe I just want an easy way out

Sarah - posted on 06/12/2013

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I would encourage you to talk with a counselor. There are so many things going on in your life right now that having someone to talk to might help. The counselor might also have resources for you to help you out. Placing your child for adoption may or may not be the right thing for you and your child. You want to make sure you are at peace with whatever decision you make. Placing can be just as hard as parenting just in a different way. Find a crisis pregnancy center or even an adoption agency that works with birth parent counseling and works on both parenting and placing. They will help you look at both options and also help you get resources for whichever decision you make.

Linda - posted on 06/12/2013

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Yes we're both welcomed at his house but since im only 17 annd turn 18 in a month my parents wont let me leave they think its best for me at my house even though im obviously unhappy

Natasha - posted on 06/12/2013

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hi Ashley I personal don't think you should him up for adoption, sounds like the father of the baby is very supportive can u & your bbf go some were else to stay?

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