Advice for spouse that won't help change diapers!

Amber - posted on 08/17/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I have two kids that are in diapers and my husband will not change any diapers for me even if they are just wet. If he is at home by himself and there diapers are dirty he will go ask a neighbor to help because he will start to gag or vomit. Any suggestions on what I can do to help him help me???

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Quoting Amber:



Quoting Angie:

Why is he gagging/vomiting? Is it the smell?





I think it is the smell and the look of it. I think I just have a pussy for a husband






Hahah! That's one of the best things I've heard all day.



Seriously, though, it seems like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place. You can't just stop changing your child's diapers, for obvious reasons, but it seems like this is bothering you (and it would bother me, too, so I don't think you're being overly-sensitive.)  I agree with the suggestion to make him take care of some chore you hate doing. For instance, it's the floors for me. I hate, hate, hate cleaning floors. So I take care of my son's laundry and the towels if my husband cleans all of the floors in the apartment.



Also, asking your neighbor to back off and leaving hubs and the babies alone for a day (if you both have the same day off and that's possible). When you come back, he'll be singing a new tune-about diapers and lots of other things he doesn't realize you do.

Kayla - posted on 09/01/2009

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With my husband I would change the stinky diapers and he would change the pee pee ones, Unless I was at work then he had no chioce lol..I made that deal with him, I didnt care. As long as he was helping somehow

Amber - posted on 09/01/2009

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Quoting Angie:

Why is he gagging/vomiting? Is it the smell?


I think it is the smell and the look of it. I think I just have a pussy for a husband

Ariel - posted on 08/18/2009

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Mine never said he wouldn't change diapers...he actually changed the first diaper when the twins were in the NICU! We joke when they stink and say 'Your turn!' but he does do it. I think I would just not worry about it. If the neighbor helps him that's good...at least he doesn't just let them sit in it. Tell him you'll take of the diapers if he'll take care of something you hate doing. Like I hate taking the time to feed mine (since they aren't at the age they can do it yet)....that way you might have to do all the diapers (unless you aren't there then super neighbor kicks in) but he has to do something else to make up for it.

Sarah - posted on 08/18/2009

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hey all good advise but ask your self who decided to have children its never a one sided act, tell him to man up gone are the days of only mothers being parents!!!!!! my partner tried to not change nappies did he get an unplesant surprise i got in my car and went out for the day telling everyone not to help him now he changes our daughters nappy everytime he needs to

M'Lissa - posted on 08/17/2009

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I wish I had some advice for you. I think if you have kids you should do anything and not limit yourself to certain aspects of raising a child. There are no "I won't do this....." when it comes to raising children. It must be nice to be a man. I have my own problems with what my husband WILL and WON'T do, even with my step daughters.
Craziness!!!

Jamie - posted on 08/17/2009

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Get some Vicks Vapor rub. When he needs to change a diaper tell him to put some on his upper lip it will get rid of the smell. second, tell your neighbor to back off.

Sara - posted on 08/17/2009

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My husband was not that bad, but would hardley ever change diapers. When he did change them, he would do it by trying not to touch their butt with his hands and keep it as far away from him as possible. Plus he would get overly mad at my kids if they squirmed too much while he was trying to change them. So I started just takeing them and doing it myself everytime they needed changed. After a little while I would start to make fun of him because who cannot stand to change their own kid's diapers? I never got really mad, but sometimes when i was in the middle of dinner or something I would take them to go change them and say things like, "boy it would be nice if you could just do this for me so i did not burn the food".



After about a month, I did it in front of one of his guy friends who has kids. The guy looked at him like he was cracked and ever since, he changes diapers every once in a while when I am busy.



I think the key was to not get angry with him and just make fun of him until he saw how stupid he was being. He still goes weeks without changing diapers though, so it did not cure the problem completely!



Good luck, I hope you figure out a great diaper changing motivator!

Lisa - posted on 08/17/2009

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Stop doing his laundry, dishes or doing anything that he wants, by telling him, " Sorry, I don't have the time for your stuff, I have too many of YOUR children's diapers to change."

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