Advice needed for 8 year old son!

April - posted on 07/26/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My husband travels for work at least nine months out of the year, which leaves me to care for my three children and his son. I have always tried to treat him as my own because his mother never comes around and also so he doesn't feel alone when his dad leaves. The father of my three doesn't ever call or come around either, so they have taken to calling their stepdad "daddy".

When my husband is home, the oldest, my eight year old son is great and very respectful to me and others around him. He is quick to apologize when he does something wrong. But, when my husband leaves, my son begins yelling at the other kids and wrestling or punching my six year old stepson. At first I thought that it was because he's a boy and boys are rough at times. But it got worse and worse. He used to tell me it was because his stepbrother "acted like a girl and always wanted to play with barbie's and be a princess", and that he "wanted a brother, but not the one he got". I tried explaining that just because he didn't like what his stepbrother did, he couldn't hurt him. We work on self control with words and actions. He is very sweet and loving on me and always trying to make me happy or feel better, and he is amazing and so nice with other people's kids. However he becomes rude and very unpleasant around his sisters and stepbrother, creates chaos by yelling, running, and screaming through the house, and no matter what I do, he seems to take his frustration out on his stepbrother.

Tonight his brother was sitting on my son's bed, watching tv. Instead of asking him if he would move so he could lay down, my son came up behind him and punched him in the back. I have used every appropriate disciplinary action that I can think of, but it doesn't seem to matter unless daddy is home. I feel so helpless and out of options, I don't know what to do. I need advice, I am begging for it. Please help!!

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It sounds like he is upset about his father leaving and taking it out the other children in the home. Im sure your husband has talk to him about how to behave but what about being "the man of the house when daddys away"? Also can your husband Skype when he is away? Maybe setting up nightly talks would help just the two of them!

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