Almost 23 years old and pregnant with my first (money issues)

Rebecca - posted on 09/10/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I have been with my man for almost a year and six months and we are expecting. My man already has a four year old with a previous wife who he has joint custody of. I found out I was pregnant around March 5th,2012.. I was already considered five weeks pregnant. It was a little shocking but we did nothing to prevent possible pregnancy so it was not an "accident" whatever people call it. Prior to finding out I am pregnant I quit my job as a dispatcher because simple, the hours they started giving me was not working and it just sucked. After quiting I found out a week and a half later that I am indeed pregnant. I tried handing out resumes and calling places, no one was hiring. I even low balled and applied at fast food places just to find a job to save myself before I started showing. But no, School was almost out for summer and everyone already did their hiring. I applied for E.I and simply was told I did not qualify for it because I did not leave my job correctly. Which was upseting because I new I screwed myself over. I have a lot of job experience but only have my highschool diploma. Eventually I got a call from a place for an interview, just one but I was clearly showing by then and they simply did not even bother calling me back(if it even was for that reason). So there I am, without a job.. without money and my man supporting me. I am now due in about a month and 3 weeks and I am still without income. My man(father of our child) supports me because the government won't help us. I simply do not qualify for Welfare. My man had a prior job that he made about 41,000 a year back when we first started dating and I was told that's way too much to collect Welfare and simply he needs to "support" me. Now hes working at a place where he was making 70,000 a year but had to step down (Long haul truck driver)because his family is more important to him so I am not even sure how much hes going to be making. My point is that I worked my butt off for many years and the government won't help me. For this, I feel depressed all the time because I relay on my man to support me. I feel like I am not doing enough to keep our family standing. I want to work but no one would hire me, and there is no point now. I know I got myself into this mess and I know there is no way out. I know it's putting a strain on our relationship at times because money is tight and I hate asking for money. I tried Maternal leave but was told not to apply until this month(sept), but by then, I would be without work so long that its pointless.

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Linda - posted on 09/10/2012

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Hey there! I can sympathize with your sitch. I got pregnant with my daughter's dad when I was 23. We weren't married, I was serving/bar tending, paying for 2 DWI's (which if you know anything about this, you will know it takes all your money and time, also meaning your time to work to pay for your mistakes), he didn't have a job, which also means he didn't support me financially at all. I saved my money to take 6 weeks off, no help from him. I found the doctor, I took myself to all the appointments, I worked up until the day I had her, I took myself to all the Medicaid offices and filled out all the paper work, drove to court every week...I mean...girl....I did it all with no one to support me, but I did show proof that I was poor enough for the government to help, a little. What helped me through it, was her kicking, her moving, her life. Knowing that I was about to meet my "sidekick" (that's what I called her) in a matter of months gave me strength. I prayed all the time for strength and perspective. Don't get me wrong, I cried all the time and I felt like I would be the worst mother b/c I did not have anything I expected to have when having a child. I found myself hating all other pregnant women b/c they complained about sleepless nights or pains, and I was always thinking to myself "WTF!!! you have no idea!!!! I would to only have physical 'pain' as my problem!" My daughter is turning 4 in January and even though I didn't have anything material to support her or give her, I had my strength from knowing "If I can do this by myself, what can't I accomplish?" I gained more respect for myself and believed more out of me. I promise, if you take this opportunity to gain the most you can from this and do what you need and have to do to make this positive, only the best can come from it. Good luck, my friend! It may not always be fun, but it will always be an adventure.

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