Always frustrated...bad mom?

Rachel - posted on 09/10/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I've been a SAHM to my 15 month old son for a year now and due with baby # 2 the end of this month, and most days I'm lucky if I get 10 minutes to myself (my husband works all day and then goes to bed NO MATTER WHAT at 10PM...he doesn't actually go to sleep, he sits in bed and plays on his laptop for up to 2 hours (really pisses me off some nights and I've called him out on it too)). I've looked into Mommy & Me stuff and meetup.com, but I have no transportation and my husband seems unwilling to let me have the car while he's at work. Anyway, most days are ok even though we're pretty much stuck at home because we moved 3000 miles from "home," I don't have a car anymore, nothing is within walking distance, and no friends or family around. I do worry pretty much daily that I'm not doing enough with him, but there are days I just cannot handle it. I feel awful because all I want to do is just lay on the couch and watch TV. I still take care of his needs (food, diaper changes), but I feel horrible because I don't have the energy or enthusiasm to play. I offer alot of book reading on those days, but it's like my mind and body are running on empty, and I have nothing left to give. It's even worse when he's whiny and/or clingy. He'll start getting frustrated and crying, and sometimes I do too. We both just sit there and cry. I feel like the worst mother ever because instead of being the adult, I just cry right along with him. I know I'm desperately in need of some "me" time, but I'm really just worried that my frustrations and crying "fits" are going to damage my son emotionally or push him away. I don't want that to happen. I love him so very much. Can/will it happen though? Anyone else have "tantrums" in front of their children?

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Jessica - posted on 09/10/2012

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you are definitely not a bad mum, it sounds like you just need some "me" time, see if you can find a babysitter even if its just for a few hours so you can have a warm bubblebath and read a book watch a movie.it can be pretty exhausting being pregnant and the further along you get the harder it is to do things and the slightest things make you tired.maybe you could try saving up for a bike or car so you can go for a ride when hubbys home or something. maybe when your son is whinging lie down on the couch or bed and cuddle him while taking some deep breaths to calm yourself.

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