Angry Husband

Heather - posted on 03/06/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My husband and I have two kids - a 5 year old girl and a 2 year old boy. My husband has always been very distant and even mean to our daughter (yelling at her or disciplining her for things that she either didn't do or shouldn't be in trouble for). It has only gotten worse since my son was born. He's overly nice and spends MUCH more time playing with our son than with our daughter. He doesn't understand that she's a little kid and that she needs love and affection too. He was 25 when she was born and worked late afternoon shifts. He never wanted to do anything but play video games and hang out with friends. Now he's 30 and the only thing that has changed is that he works day shift now supposedly so he can be home with our kids at night. The problem with that is that when he gets home, he disappears to the bathroom or his tv room for hours. When he does finally come out, he yells at our daughter and makes her cry any chance he can get. She has started telling me that Daddy doesn't love her and that she wants him to move away. I don't know how to get him to stop his behavior without just starting a huge fight and getting her yelled at more. He thinks all books, doctors, or experts are just quacks and believes that he and his parents know everything because he is one of 8 children and they've all turned out fine (which is HIGHLY DEBATABLE!) Any suggestions on how to approach this situation without detonating a rage-bomb?

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Heather - posted on 03/07/2014

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I sat him down last night and told him that she came to me and said that her daddy didn't like her anymore. Apparently that's all it took for him to straighten up a bit and he's been playing with her and not yelling as much since. Hopefully it lasts. His biggest problem is that he thinks he has to be "big bad dad" so she will listen to him and he didn't understand that maybe she would obey better to someone she respects instead of someone she fears. Hopefully this will last and I won't have to take any further action... If it doesn't, I'll try therapy and eventually leave if it doesn't work.

Sarah - posted on 03/06/2014

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Take him to a therapist. What does he do with his son? If she does things he likes maybe it will work. Poor girl! He deserves to not be her dad.

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