Any ideas on how to get your baby to stop biting everyone? I bit him back just as hard and all he does is laugh.

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Ashley - posted on 06/26/2009

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well,it is an extremely important issue and worth screaming from the roof tops. It's when we look the other way and condone vilolence against children that they get really hurt. Education is important and this woman came here to get help which is exactly what I offered. She certainly wouldn't have bit her child if she knew better. And yes, I am proud to say I do not support child abuse, including spanking. The only thing violence and agression ever bred was violence and agression. IT IS WRONG TO HARM A CHILD, ESPECIALLY AS A PARENT, WHEN THAT CHILD HAS EVERY GOD GIVEN RIGHT TO EXPECT US TO PROTECT THEM NOT HARM THEM

Charlie - posted on 06/27/2009

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wow just went down and read the other posts , and cannot believe how many parents condone the use of child abuse , yes that s what it is CHILD ABUSE ! i am disgusted that full grown adults have to lower themselves to behave like that and they think they are teaching their children a lesson ? are you serious ? they are children looking for guidence and boundries that can easily be taught through communication , how can we ever strive for a better family , community or world for that matter if people cant communicate and use Aggression to solve all their problems .

Charlie - posted on 06/27/2009

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you cant teach someone not to be violent by being violent towards them !!!

he bites you ,then you bite him , your his mother not another child in the playground , he must think thats a fantastic game and its probably just encorouging him to do it more ..

Michelle - posted on 06/27/2009

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first thing u need it some counseling... tha'ts freaking sick that you'd bite your child you are an adult and you just taught your child it's ok to bite cuz his sucky mother does it

Ashley - posted on 06/26/2009

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"Physical abuse is defined as any nonaccidental physical injury to the child and can include striking, kicking, burning, or BITING the child." - www.childabuse.org

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Kamilya - posted on 07/01/2009

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Ashley plz stop ypur comments i'm pretty sure when tiffany said she was biting her kid she wasn't leaving a mark therefor she's not hurting her child. She's not neglecting her child, actually whooping him senseless she giving him discipline. Yes i bite my child back, when he smack me i smack him back when he pull my hair i do the same. I'm not saying i'm hurting my child in anyway he still a happy baby that loves attention. By me mimicking everything he do that hurts he learn to stop because it hurt him.

Stephanie - posted on 07/01/2009

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lol. What a topic. Ive seen abused children. And been a victim. Biting your child back for biting you is not child abuse. I wish it had been abuse for me but it wasnt sadly. If you havent been a victim then you dont know. My sister used to bite all the time. I have a mark on my back from where she drew blood. Well nothing worked with her and when she bit my cousin one day and drew blood my aunt went right up to her and bit her back and sure enough she never did it again...she had been biting until she was almost 5 years old. My children have never bit me. I tell them that biting is for food not people. And they understand that.

Kristen - posted on 06/30/2009

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yea don´t bite him! that will just make him think its ok and he thinks its a game u need to find another form of disapline for him becirdes that, my brothers wife used to bite my nephew when he was 1 when he was biting n child services got involved because he would bruise from her biting him and she got her child taken away for 6months!

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VINEGAR! vinegar works for everything, dont make him drink it, Dip your finger in vingear then put it in his mouth... its sucks for you just as much as for him, but after a couple times he will get the idea. i have a four year old and i started the vingear thing a long time ago, and all i have to say is you want vinegar? and he stops! but you have to be consistent with it.

Michelle - posted on 06/30/2009

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I think all children go through the biting thing.. I just think you have to keep telling him that biting hurts. But other than that I think he will out grow it. Try getting him something he can bit on when he gets mad or when he feel the need to bit and maybe he/she will start substituting.

Christina - posted on 06/30/2009

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If you find out what to do, just let me know...I΄m having exactly the same problem with my 20 months daughter, and even though her pediatrician told me to bit her or hit her back, I believe that΄s not the right way. The only thing you do is to show them that biting or hiting is ok...I believe that it΄s just a phase and sooner or later it will pass...They΄re just exploring their potentials...

Deadra - posted on 06/30/2009

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I think you have to remember that every child is different and every situation is different. Some kids do not respond at all to time out, they need a spanking to get their attention. I also think it depends on what the child did wrong. Just had to say that because it gets on my nerves when people say it is abusive to spank, when they only know what works for them and their family. Anyway, about the biting. My son was about a year old the first time he bit me, he was teething. He surprised me and I yelled because it hurt and it scared him so he never bit me again. If he would have kept doing it, I would have bit him back. I know lots of people who have done it and it works perfect for them. It is NOT child abuse as long as you don't break the skin or cause a bruise. People get carried away with what child abuse really is.

Deadra - posted on 06/30/2009

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I think you have to remember that every child is different and every situation is different. Some kids do not respond at all to time out, they need a spanking to get their attention. I also think it depends on what the child did wrong. Just had to say that because it gets on my nerves when people say it is abusive to spank, when they only know what works for them and their family. Anyway, about the biting. My son was about a year old the first time he bit me, he was teething. He surprised me and I yelled because it hurt and it scared him so he never bit me again. If he would have kept doing it, I would have bit him back. I know lots of people who have done it and it works perfect for them. It is NOT child abuse as long as you don't break the skin or cause a bruise. People get carried away with what child abuse really is.

Michelle - posted on 06/30/2009

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Quoting Chloe:



Quoting Ashley:

"Physical abuse is defined as any nonaccidental physical injury to the child and can include striking, kicking, burning, or BITING the child." - www.childabuse.org





 






lol im guessing u have children well if so love urs are going to be the ones that other parents frown upon cause they are disrespectful to others n running a muck cause they dont know wat discipline is n oh my god my children must abuse each other lol oh no child abuse there is actually a different line of abuse to corrective punishment





you are kidding right? i have a 5 and half year old never been hit spanked bite etc everyone is always coming up to tell him what a well behaved little boy he is... it doesnt' take beating your child to get them to listen just being consistent  caring and loving takes care of that... his preschool teachers told me many times they wish all the kids acted like him

Samantha - posted on 06/30/2009

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As I was reading through these posts, I feel that I must say, Tiffany, please do not let what some of these other Moms have said, get to you. It is not our place to judge, lest we be the perfect parent, and no one can claim that. Many on here will both agree and disagree with different parenting styles, and no two are just alike. You are not abusing you child! You know him/her better than any of us on here, just take the better advise on what to do, and pass over the parenting criticism. Good luck w/ the biting, it will stop eventually, just hang in there!

Samantha - posted on 06/30/2009

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OK, I am a bit afraid to post here as well, but here goes. My son has just started biting me and pulling my hair. I look him in the eye and say loudly and sternly "ow, that hurts! No!" and I find it gets my point across, as his little face crumples and his lip come out and he has a few little wines. However, this method may not work on all children. Honestly, I have many friends who gently bit their children back, and it worked for them. Their children quit biting. CPS isn't going to go after you for anything like that, and if its not abuse in their books then its not abuse. They are quite strict i understand. Of course not chomping on your children, just a little bite to get your point across.
I see here that it has turned into a whose right about biting and whatnot, but my advise, try different things. Something will work for you, luckly my little man I think gets my point with my "OW", although he still does it, but I think its a baby thing, and they will grow out of it. As long as you don't laugh, making it a game, they will quit.

Chloe - posted on 06/30/2009

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Quoting Ashley:

"Physical abuse is defined as any nonaccidental physical injury to the child and can include striking, kicking, burning, or BITING the child." - www.childabuse.org


 



lol im guessing u have children well if so love urs are going to be the ones that other parents frown upon cause they are disrespectful to others n running a muck cause they dont know wat discipline is n oh my god my children must abuse each other lol oh no child abuse there is actually a different line of abuse to corrective punishment

Vicky - posted on 06/30/2009

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Ive tried that as well. Did it for 2 weeks and he jus hit me when i was at his level.

Tina - posted on 06/30/2009

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Don't bit back! Just go down to your child's level and say thats not okay bitting hurts people,then walk away! One day is not going to change a child you have to work at the same thing for 1 week,try it see how it works let me know.

Vicky - posted on 06/30/2009

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When my son bites me, i do bite him back. Not hard but enough so that it hurts. I did it the first time he bit me and he has only done it three times since. That was 6 months ago and he is 2 next month. It is not child abuse. I would say keep trying but do not keep mentioning it. Good luck

LaCi - posted on 06/30/2009

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Quoting Jennifer:

When my son would bite (usually he bit his cousin) we would give the person that was bit a ton of attention. We would give them hugs and ask if they are okay and that would make my son very jealous. He soon realized that when he bit he was letting that person get all of the attention and he was getting none. It worked like a charm!


that is so clever. thank you! this will prove helpful.

LaCi - posted on 06/30/2009

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lol. mine kept yanking on my hair, so i pulled his and he did the same thing. he thought it was hilarious.

Rikki - posted on 06/29/2009

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My son is the exact same way. I tried biting but he just thinks it is a game and does it more. He is the same way when he hits or pulls hair... if I say ouch he does it more... I dont think that he is doing it to be mean, just trying to figure out the world around him. I wouldnt worry about it too much now, but when he gets older if he doesnt stop.. that is when I would try the other tatics

Cheryl - posted on 06/29/2009

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Wow, I dont even know if i want to post here. but here it goes, I did do the bite back just lightly, it worked. Children have very few ways to express themselves and this is normal, for furstration and teething but sill not good. it is easier to deal with now than when your son is 5.

What also really worked for me was to react, with crying, you poor on the tears and tell him that that really hurt mommy. oooch owwie, you really hurt me. exagertate it to the 9s. Stop making it a game. And teach him emotion while doing it.

Your son is at the normal age of experimenting with what is ok to put into his mouth, I bet your trying to keep your floors really clean.

Good Luck

In my opinion you are not abusing your son! Just using methods at his levels to teach him, that is not wrong.

Jennifer - posted on 06/29/2009

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When my son would bite (usually he bit his cousin) we would give the person that was bit a ton of attention. We would give them hugs and ask if they are okay and that would make my son very jealous. He soon realized that when he bit he was letting that person get all of the attention and he was getting none. It worked like a charm!

Kate CP - posted on 06/29/2009

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Quoting Diana:

Ashley do you really have kids, could have fooled me. Try having your child biting or hitting you on a regular basis. If you don't do anything to stop it the child may grow up learning thats its ok to hit women. I have 2 boys and that is not something i want my boys to do as men. Im not condoning belting the crap out of your child when they bite, if biting them back stops the behavior then do what works. I know that we are not animals (although) you may think differently , but in nature that his how a dog or cat would teach their baby that its bad behavior.


While I *really* don't agree with Ashley, I also don't agree with this statement. First thing, a man who abuses his wife or girlfriend didn't learn that behavior from hitting his mommy when he was 2. Its a combination of things like growing up in an environment where controlling and dominating women was expected and anger issues. 



Second thing about the animals bit...that's not true. I've worked with dogs for 12 years and I can promise you they don't beat up their young whenever they misbehave. A mother will correct her pups with a growl, a bark, a lip curl, and in extreme cases will snap at but not actually make contact with the pup. The same is true with cats and kittens and any other species on the planet (except us I guess). Mothers don't harm their young in the wild unless something is WRONG: illness, lack of food, etc. 



Beating your kids isn't necesarry but correcting them is. That's the point we all need to concede. 

Kate CP - posted on 06/29/2009

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Quoting Diana:

Ashley do you really have kids, could have fooled me. Try having your child biting or hitting you on a regular basis. If you don't do anything to stop it the child may grow up learning thats its ok to hit women. I have 2 boys and that is not something i want my boys to do as men. Im not condoning belting the crap out of your child when they bite, if biting them back stops the behavior then do what works. I know that we are not animals (although) you may think differently , but in nature that his how a dog or cat would teach their baby that its bad behavior.


While I *really* don't agree with Ashley, I also don't agree with this statement. First thing, a man who abuses his wife or girlfriend didn't learn that behavior from hitting his mommy when he was 2. Its a combination of things like growing up in an environment where controlling and dominating women was expected and anger issues. 



Second thing about the animals bit...that's not true. I've worked with dogs for 12 years and I can promise you they don't beat up their young whenever they misbehave. A mother will correct her pups with a growl, a bark, a lip curl, and in extreme cases will snap at but not actually make contact with the pup. The same is true with cats and kittens and any other species on the planet (except us I guess). Mothers don't harm their young in the wild unless something is WRONG: illness, lack of food, etc. 



Beating your kids isn't necesarry but correcting them is. That's the point we all need to concede. 

User - posted on 06/29/2009

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Ashley do you really have kids, could have fooled me. Try having your child biting or hitting you on a regular basis. If you don't do anything to stop it the child may grow up learning thats its ok to hit women. I have 2 boys and that is not something i want my boys to do as men. Im not condoning belting the crap out of your child when they bite, if biting them back stops the behavior then do what works. I know that we are not animals (although) you may think differently , but in nature that his how a dog or cat would teach their baby that its bad behavior.

User - posted on 06/29/2009

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My son likes to bite, only me . I tried the biting back thing it worked at the start but not anymore. I give my son a pinch on the nose he soon stops that particular episode of biting, but its an on going thing. He mainly does it when teething, maybe i should just give him some pain killers . I also like the exclusion method after your child has biten you say no biting and sit him in a corner the soon reolize if the bite they dont get a reaction or the attention they want.

Ericka - posted on 06/29/2009

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I'm not sure biting back is the answer. I think maybe he will take it as a game. Definitely give him a toy and let him know biting people is not nice but biting toys is fine. As far as everyone jumping your ass and telling you how much of a bad mother you are, forget them. The reason you are here is for advice. If they knew it all, they wouln't need to be on COM's. Constructive is the word guys... Help the woman out, don't beat her up. Not everyone is perfect and parenting is the hardest job in the world. Every single one of you are learning by trial and error. DON'T JUDGE!

Dalaney - posted on 06/29/2009

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Redirect, when my little one was getting her teeth she tried them out on me, also when I quit breastfeeding she would mouth me. Teeth are new to them so they experiment with biting different things. I would say "ow, no biting" when she bit me then give her something else to chew on, like a fruit pop, or frozen teething toy or something she could sink her teeth into. Eventually she understood that biting me was not OK and she stopped. It just takes time and this phase will pass.

Natasha - posted on 06/29/2009

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ok so i have never bitten back or hit my child.
But i don't think its child abuse. I don't do it because i don't think it works and it does teach that the behaviour is ok.

she could have other children you know

Carrie - posted on 06/29/2009

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i had that problem with my lil one and i just keep tell her that biting is not right and that told her that when she is old that she will not be able to have friends because other child will not play with kids that bit. it worked for me. i never bite back!

Rebecca - posted on 06/29/2009

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My son went through a stage of biting and i will say the only way i could stop him biting chunks out of his BABY brother was to bite him back and yes sometimes you have to do it really hard but it was the only way that he learnt that what he was doing hurt others. I stress this is NOT CHILD ABUSE!!!!!!!

Kylie - posted on 06/28/2009

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i took my son to the doctor recently for his needles and asked why he was continuously biting me, which he did just before i saw the doctor and made me bleed. The doc checked him over and was game enough to stick his finger in his mouth and found there was some teeth coming through up the sides of his mouth. i have noticed my son only really does this when there are teeth coming or moving. it will pass just keep up the panadol and bonjela when you notice he needs it. good luck it will pass.

Guggie - posted on 06/28/2009

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lol I know you're probably frustrated but it is really funny that he laughed.



Have you read, "Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, Energetic"

by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka? It has a lot of helpful suggestions...and besides, just reading it can help you feel better and know you're not crazy.



I also think it's a stage. So trying to redirect it or even interfering before he has a chance to get his teeth into someone will be fine. Soon he will outgrow it. If I recall correctly, there are typically two reasons they do it:



1. They have the reasoning ability in social interactions but not the verbal ability so they bite to communicate.



2. Because they don't have the verbal ability, they get frustrated/angry and bite to act out.



Maybe spending more time reading him books and acting out social interactions will help him pick up on other ways to act.



Good luck....I have a brother who is spirited like that and he is quite a handful. We found him one time trying to jump off the roof onto the trampoline in the backyard. And a few weeks ago he had snuck outside in the middle of the night to pick cherries off the tree. Ah, but when they grow up they'll be cool people. :)

Cheryl - posted on 06/28/2009

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my daughter bit me really hard once first time she ever bit me and she broke the skin. i simply gave her a pop on the mouth i DID NOT hurt her she DID NOT cry. the simple shock that i would tap her mouth and say ouch dont bite was enough she has NEVER bit anyone again since than. sure seconds later i felt absolutely terrible because it all happend so quickly that i freaked out afterwards thinking "omg i poped her in the mouth im a terrible mom" but looking back i feel that i did the right thing it was not an abusive hit just a POP hard to explain. my husband and i constantly " tickle kiss" her ( an EXTREMELY gentle bite on the baby fat or skin of the tummy) but she knows the difference between a tickle kiss and a bite.

Rachel - posted on 06/28/2009

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i had troubels with my son, he bit as well. He bit form age 1 to jus over two. I tried everything, but once he started talking and was able to express himself it subsided. Disciplin how how YOU feel will work best for him. It is a hard one, but my son is almost 4 and hasn't bit for about a yr and a half! Good luck, keep on finding what works.

Lisa - posted on 06/28/2009

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you have to say no bite and dont make a big deal about it, becuase if your son see you react he will keep doing it. Most kids bite its almost always going to happen once or more. My son had bitten himself when he got really upset because he did not know how to express himself. It of course really bothered me. I just tried talking to him like a normal person and explained to him why he could not do that. He also bit me a few times and he in trouble for that. But I called his doctor and the nurse had some really good ideas. After a little time it just all stopped. All children try to push our buttons to see how far they can push us, this is no different.

Bessie - posted on 06/28/2009

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when he bites you push back on were he / she is biting it show the baby that it hurts to bite and it only hurts you for a sec.

Charlie - posted on 06/28/2009

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so hes under a year and probably teething , somehow to me that makes the biting back even more ridiculous !, try some cold wash clothes to chew on or their are some fantastic chew toys out there not sure what country your from but we have Bonjela in Australia its a gel used on a dummy( pacifier) or rubbed directly on the gums it soothes the pain. i see a few people think biting back is a miracle cure , i think its a damn lazy way of parenting .

Simone - posted on 06/28/2009

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Quoting Amanda:

the definition given of child abuse was something that caused physical injury to the child. since he laughed i doubt it caused an injury.

it's an old fashioned method, younger children i think it shows its ok to bite, slightly older children who can associate pain with the action they have done... maybe it works for some, not for others. my mum always used to get us to bite ourselves after biting anyone else, we soon learnt that gnashers hurt and after that point it became a punishable offence ie time out because we knew it hurt.

try giving your child an ice pop (frozen stick of flavoured ice in a plastic tube) push it up a bit, my 14month old loves them, you can get sugar free/colourless ones too and it seems to have done the trick for now. a) something she can bite and b)take away the urge to bite as it soothes.

mand x



Great idea with the ice pop. Something so obvious and I never thought to give it a go.  Will definately try it!

Simone - posted on 06/28/2009

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My son bites, nips and scratches us when he's teething. I think it's his way of trying to express to us how much pain he's in. As soon as we give him some medicine and teething gel he stops until the pain starts again. Of course we tell him it's naughtly and he shouldn't do it, but he doesn't really understand yet. As he can't talk it's the only way he can tell communicate.



When the tooth has popped through everything stops and he becomes a happy little boy again!



Hope you manage to find a solution to the problem xx

Katy - posted on 06/28/2009

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My daughter used to bite when she was younger, but only when she was playing with certain kids who picked on her when no one was watching. She wasn't able to express her frustration and so she would bite. Try to see whats the cause of his biting, is he acting frustrated, like he wants to express something or get your attention. Talk to him, so that he will learn to talk to you. It worked that as soon as I realized what was going and and was able to remove the picking on and teasing, she stopped biting, and has never again done it. Don't bite back though, it wont help. By biting him back, it teaches him it's ok to bite, just like smacking a hand and saying NO HITTING isn't going to really teach them not to hit. This is of course just my opinion, and I'm not going to say it's child abuse, condemning someone for not knowing what to do isn't really going to help anyone. I was given the same advice by my mother, to bite my daughter back, but I choose not to, sometimes we are misadvised or misinformed, we all do our best as parents, and have to learn from our mistakes as well. JMO of course.

Veronica - posted on 06/28/2009

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A baby under a year or two is most likely teething -- so biting them back regardless, makes no sense. However, my 3 year old was biting out of anger when a toy was taken or whatever (from his other sisters and brothers) I did bit him - enough to show to him and explain how biting hurts - not to punish him - it was to show him - see what this feels like, dont do it to others its an owie -- he doesnt bite anymore. Child abuse would be just biting your kid for no reason, or out of anger - and then leaving bruises or drawing blood. Spanking your child, slapping their hands, etc. is not abuse unless you leave a mark, bruise, welt or break skin. My children get different kinds of spankings - some are a whap on the butt to say pay attention. Sometimes it a few swats on the rear if they're are continuing - and the final is literally pulling down their pants and giving them spanks right on their bare bottoms. BUT spankings are when the time outs, verbal warnings, taking things away -etc. dont work. Parents are soo damn wishy washy now a days, to me its pathetic. How do you teach your children to be respectful, listen, and behave without disciplline? All 5 of my children are fun and loving - but know the rules, are quiet when told, and sit still when they need to (like church or something). Now, im not perfect, i dont expect anyone else to be either. I have my ways to discipline, others have thier ways. People need to get it through their heads the difference between discipline and abuse. Tiffany, if your son is under one years old, just redirection is the main thing thats going to work for now, he's literally too little to understand what you are doing, and thats why he's laughing.

Take care,

Veronica

Amanda - posted on 06/28/2009

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the definition given of child abuse was something that caused physical injury to the child. since he laughed i doubt it caused an injury.



it's an old fashioned method, younger children i think it shows its ok to bite, slightly older children who can associate pain with the action they have done... maybe it works for some, not for others. my mum always used to get us to bite ourselves after biting anyone else, we soon learnt that gnashers hurt and after that point it became a punishable offence ie time out because we knew it hurt.



try giving your child an ice pop (frozen stick of flavoured ice in a plastic tube) push it up a bit, my 14month old loves them, you can get sugar free/colourless ones too and it seems to have done the trick for now. a) something she can bite and b)take away the urge to bite as it soothes.



mand x

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Oh and DONT use Hot sauce !!!!! thats a horrible idea and very cruel glad i was not theat womans child!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry bout all the spelling

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I know that the biting thing is hard to get them out of but biting back should never be an option!!! I was going to simpathize with you that but someone said he is under a YEAR old clearly he is still teething its amazing that you have not considered that he is teething there are plenty of teething toys out there for babies, its like having a puppy they chew as there teeth HURT so dont punish him by biting back as its clear he is trying to relive the pain he is feeling!! mybe get some perental books!!!

Lauren - posted on 06/28/2009

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I don't know if this will help, but I know on the Noggin channel on the Yo Gabba Gabba show they actually have a song talking about don't bite your friends. If you could go to their website and find the song, you might want to teach them that song. Take away privlages, or time out in the corner. While they are in time out make sure you do not respond to them. Act like they are not there. He will learn. I hope I could help honey.- Lexy

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when my son started biting, i tried flicking him in the mouth, talking to him, timeouts and all that. call me a bad parent, but the only choice we had left was to bite him back. i didnt bite him hard enough to leave a mark, but enough to where he got that startled look on his face like "OMG this hurts!" after about 6-8 times...he quit biting!

Rebecca - posted on 06/28/2009

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well when u bite a child back it shows its ok, or even its like a game.. with my daughter i would just pick her up and hug her and tell her we dont bite we give hugs.. and 3 days of that she stopped biting... we do alot of role playin. we also have alot of play groups so she sees more than some kiddo.. good luck!

Kimi - posted on 06/28/2009

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Quoting Kimi:

I'm sorry but it always makes me laugh when people bite their kids back!!! Thanks for makeing my morning:)



Funny that he laughed about it too.  He probably just thinks it so funny to see your reaction when he chomps down.  Just find a way to startle him when he does it so it isn't so mutch fun. LOL

Kimi - posted on 06/28/2009

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I'm sorry but it always makes me laugh when people bite their kids back!!! Thanks for makeing my morning:)

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