Any young moms get ugly looks from older women?

Kayla - posted on 02/22/2010 ( 21 moms have responded )

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I was 19 when i had my son. When i was pregnant i got all kinds of dirty and humiliating looks from older women. Degrading me for getting pregnant so soon. What really pissed me off is that a lot of older women had babies young too. So its like they are being hipicritical. I also get a lot of looks from younger people too. I get stared at and get whispers behind my back when i walk in the mall. Now i am 20 and my son is almost 7 months old.

Any other mommies got this?

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21 Comments

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Krystal - posted on 10/09/2012

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I was pregnant at 20 and had my Son at 21. I always got the "Death stare" walking through shopping centres etc! Even now I am 22 and my Son is 14months, I still get digusted looks by people (Mostly older) . It use to upset me, but my Son is happy and healthy and I couldn't care less what people think :-D

Stephanie - posted on 10/04/2012

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I get the same thing, I had my first child at 20 and ad the dirty looks I'm married now and have another child which is 7 months, when I drop my daughter to school almost all of the mums are alot older than me and just give me dirty looks. Not sure why if I'm honest. I'm a nice person with wonderful polite children and a lovely husband. But I think to ,yself why should I care what they think they're only in my life 10mins of the day! Lol, I wouldn't worry about it too much xxx

Ashley - posted on 10/02/2012

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All the time. I was 16 with my first, who is now almost 9. I also have one almost 7 and almost 2. I get the dirty looks and stares all the time, especially when they call me mom. I am 26 now but still look no older than 15. I took my son to a doctors appointment o.e day and the receptionist was so rude...she asked me where my parents were and I said I dont really keep ta s on them but I imagibe at work. And she continued to say well they need to be here, we cant see your brother without a parent. By this time, I was so irritated and I think she could tell. I told her he is my son and he will be seen. She said your not old enough to have a child, let alone a 7 year old. I asked for her supervisor, and I ha nt seen her in that office since. I became a mom young but it did not affect my abililty to be the beat mother I can be. We have our own car, own home, and my kids have everything they need plus some. They go to school every day, they know the importance of it, they know right from wrong, and I am very involved in there school, sports and everything in there life. They go by a routine, doi.g there homework, eating dinner, taking a bath, brushing there teeth, having family time and having pkay time and bedtine every day. My kids are my life, everything I do is for them, and I ha e seen older people who were horrible parents, so people really irritate me and piss me off when they judge just becausr I look younger than I am. People always assume my 2 oldest are my brothers and that I had my youngest before even getting out of junior high school. I hace learned to ignore the stares abd dirty looks, but when its a bad day or they ha e something smart to say I dont always keep my mouth shut.

Charmaine - posted on 02/23/2010

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ignore them they may just be jelous cause u look so good and they dont haha

Kerri - posted on 02/23/2010

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I'm 22 and I was 20 when I first became preggo ( my son is 9 months old) But my mom, who is 40, has alot of older like 50-70 year old friends and The whole time I was preggo my mom would tell them this is my daughter shes giving my a little granbaby and they always looked at me and like i was 15-16 years old. Now that I have my son if my mom and I are out in public the older women ask my mom how old her son is, or tell her that her son is just soo adorable, And I have the cutest little brother (my mom doesn't look anywhere close to 40) and then I get the nasty looks becuase I tell them thank you I know my son is adorable. And my son is 9 months old. So yea I know what you mean. And thats really kool about y'alls birth years!

Kayla - posted on 02/23/2010

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When i told my mom that i was pregnant she was so excited! She couldnt wait to be a gramma. Then she told my gramma that i was pregnant and she got a little upset. Then it was cool cuz my mom stood up for me and reminded my gramma that she had my mom when she was 20. Then my gramma apoligized and was excited. I think it is pretty cool cuz my great gramma was born in 1929, my gramma was born in 1949, my mom was born in 1969, i was born in 1989 and my son was born in 2009. So our birthdays are almost 20 years apart. I realized that when my son was born. We didnt mean that it happend like that it just happened. But its cool

Dani - posted on 02/23/2010

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Lol after my babyshower ( i was 8 months prego) all my girlfriends took me out to the club for some danceing and the dj made a big congrats announcement over the speakers . Obviously i wasnt drinking , but it was a blast and i honestly dont think i got many strange looks. Also i worked in a bar right up until the time i popped.

Jennifer - posted on 02/23/2010

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I am 22 and I'm 4'11 90 pounds and I look like I'm 16. Brian is 6'2 and looks 25+. Not only do I get dirty looks when I am out with Emma but I get even nastier looks when I am out with Emma and Brian. We are a happy family and if anyone spent the time to really get to know us they would realize this is all we could have ever asked for. We aren't immature, we aren't too young, this wasn't a mistake, and we give Emma everything we can. My parents were pregnant with my sister when my mom was 23, my grandmother was pregnant with my aunt when she was 19. If you ask me I have the best and most supportive family in the whole world and if someone is too quick to judge me or my family then they are at a loss not me. Don't let them get to you, if anything prove them wrong.

Esther - posted on 02/23/2010

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yes!and i had someone tell me its cause they think that they made a mistake having their kids so young and so they have to project what they feel onto us! I say who cares and when i get those looks I just give my kids a big hug and kiss and say i love you and ignore the dirty looks and stares

Kayla - posted on 02/23/2010

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Thanks so much ladies. I feel so much better.I dont feel like i am the only one that feels like this. It is so reasuring that i am not the only one that get this feeling. Its nice to know that i have people who feel what i feel and if i am feeing down i can turn to them, because they know what i am goin through. You all made me feel like I can be proud to be a young mom. Thank you so much
Kayla

Shalaina - posted on 02/23/2010

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I absolutely do. I look like I am 16, even though I am 25, and some look down on me and think I got pregnant when I was 15 or 16. It makes me mad because I have been married for 2 years and my son is 7 months AND planned. I do not look down on girls that are younger and got a wonderful surprise, don't get me wrong! My mom had my sister when she was 16! I am just tired of being categorized when it is not even true. So, even though I am older than you, it still happens. People are so rude and ridiculous. Good luck and I love your picture, your baby is beautiful!

Like Sarah Bell said, I do feel a little self-conscious at times but I try SO hard not to because it's their own problem and they need to mind their own. When people see my wedding ring (when I don't have the baby) many people say that I also look like I am 15 or 16 and always ask in public...loudly...how old I am. So what, I look young...mind your own!!! =p

Samantha - posted on 02/23/2010

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This is kinda funny to me because I'm 26 and I look 18..I have 3 childern and when I go to the store or anywhere else I get looks all the time lol..I just smile and sometimes wave when people look at me funny..because haveing 3 kids and looking young is only 1% of my life story the other 99% they will never know and if they did they would be amazed with my life style...So smile girl there is no need to get mad just hold your head up high and walk with pride.

Victoria - posted on 02/23/2010

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I don't get any dirty looks or anything from older women. But if they did give me a dirty look I would just smile at them. Like someone else said, those older woman probably had kids at a young age themselves. People need to just relax. Why is it so surprising to see a young woman pregnant or with kids? Its not a new thing. My sister is turning 21 in march and she has 4 beautiful kids. Some older family members try to put in their two cents about it, but its like, whats done is done, so move on with it already. I feel bad for my sis cause she has to deal with the looks though.

Miranda - posted on 02/23/2010

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i was 18 when i found out i was pregnant, i got a couple looks from some ladies but i just put my nose in the air and showed off my belly :) and the girls i went to high school with talk about me but that means they have nothing better to do and that there just jelous :)

Candace - posted on 02/22/2010

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I'm 28 and look young for my age as well, when I was pregant and even now when out with my 6 month old, I feel like some people will stare. I have always cared what others have thought of me, and it does bother me. I try to dress more "grown up" so I don't get the stares, but I feel ya for sure. Really we shouldn't care what others think, so don't, just be a proud mommy that's all that matters!

Sarah - posted on 02/22/2010

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I'm 25 years old, but I look like I'm in my teens too...and people are really quick to point that out to me. It gets really old sometimes!!! When I was getting my hair done for my wedding (I got married when I was 22) one of the hair dressers thought I was a member of someone else's wedding party. When I told her I was a bride, she embarrassed me in front of a lot of people and said I look like I'm 15 and too young to get married. Now that I have a 5 month old son, I get paranoid that people are staring at me & thinking that I'm too young to have a baby. I know I shouldn't feel this way, but it's hard to change how I feel after years of people making rude, embarrassing remarks towards me. And what if I WAS a teen mom?? Who cares! Mind your own business people.

Lisa - posted on 02/22/2010

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LOL, sometimes I get weird looks because I have 3 children. I am almost 29 years old, however, I look like I am still in my teens. So I know how you feel, lol!

Stevie - posted on 02/22/2010

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I get the old ladies looking at my ring finger sometimes but I had to take off my rings 2 months ago due to swelling, I'm not married but do have 2 engagement type rings from when my boyfriend and I were in high school. I'm only 21 but people tell me I look a lot older (nice huh) I probably look 25 so I don't really get any negative looks, mostly people just tell me I'm glowing. I did have an old lady give me a dirty look for being in the liquor store with my friend even though I was clearly not in the lineup.

K. Erin - posted on 02/22/2010

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yes! so i just give all my old baby clothes to all the rest of the teenage moms in the area!! Now I get even more hateful looks! They act like I have spread the teenage mom disease...I think it's hilarious. You don't have to be a certain age to be a parent and I am a damned fine parent if I do say so myself...I have been concerned about my family treating my younger child better than my older child tho... because I was at a more acceptable age when I had her (23) then when I had him (17)...

Starr - posted on 02/22/2010

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Yes, it's a horrible feeling to know that people can be so rude. I am 21 with 2 children and get those looks everywhere I go. The first few times it happened it made me feel really bad. After awhile I decided I wasn't going to let it get to me anymore because I have 2 precious gifts and I should'nt let anyone get me down about it. So now when I see someone giving me "the look" I pick up my babies, smlie, and give them tons of kisses!

Sarah - posted on 02/22/2010

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i actually had the complete opposite happen to me... all the ladies would come up and tell me how cute i looked and asked the 20 questions of my pregnancy lol like they were really interested. but i noticed that when my husband was with me, i had more attention then if he wasn't with me. but older women have told me that i was too young and i agreed with them and said but im all in and im gunna do the best i can and that usually changes their attitude. i think they are just afraid that ur gunna end up being one of those moms in the store who screams at their baby to shut up bc thats wat they did to their children and didn't learn taht they were in the wrong until they had grandbabies. remember that u can't jugde a book by its cover, if they are judging u, its bc they are finding faults within themselves and thats on them. don't put ur head down and walk away, hold it up high and walk right past them with a smile, or worse, say something sweet to ur baby and make him smile, that always gets them lol!!!

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