Anyone else feel bad for wanting to go back to work?

Brandice - posted on 08/14/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I am the mother of a 4 1/2 yr old and a 6 month old. My 4 year old is about to start back to school. She attends an ABC program (it's like pre-k). I've been home for almost a year, because I was hit by a truck (literally) while I was pregnant. I had our son in February and was thinking that since his sister will be going back to school, he could go to daycare too. They would be at the same facility. I know one of the teachers that will be in his room personally and trust her to take care of him. I work as a substitute teacher and will pretty much be working for like 2-3 days just to pay daycare each week. I don't HAVE to work to make ends meet, I just kinda am wanting to get out of the house and back to work. I want so badly to go back to work, but at the same time, feel guilty for sending my son to daycare, when I could stay home. Am I a bad mother for wanting to go back to work? Oh, have to mention the fact that my lovely MIL says that her children never went to daycare and they turned out fine. She has a daughter the same age as mine and she doesn't even know her letters, but yeah, she's "fine". How do I stop feeling guilty for wanting to go back to work? How do I tell my MIL to back off without sounding mean?

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Angela - posted on 08/14/2009

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Don't feel guilty at all. I am going to school to be a teacher and last year I had to go back to class when my daughter was five weeks old. You can't spend all your time in the house and working 2-3 days a week is no big deal. That means that you still have 4-5 days with your children. What makes a good mom is not all about the time that you spend with them, it is whether or not what you do out of love for them. Are you dropping him off because you just can't stand the sight of your little monster who is making your life horrible? No. First of all you are concerned about whether it is right or not so you are fine. The whole MIL thing is a little different. Maybe you can try to tell her that her kids are wonderful, because you don't want to piss her off, then reminder that you are different people with different kids and everyone has different needs but no matter what you still both love your kids with all your heart. Say it gently and then walk away so she can't respond or get snotty with you. lol I hope you feel better.

Amber - posted on 08/14/2009

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every one needs time for themselves, don't feel guilty for wanting to go back to work or sending your child to daycare. if you know the people who are taking care of your children and trust them there is nothing to worrie about, daycare can be a very wonderful place for your children most daycares now are preschools as well and it really helps your childs learning development. you need time for yourself, everyone does, if you are not taking care of yourself and getting in a breather being a mom can be just twice as hard.

Courtney - posted on 08/14/2009

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no problem glad i could be of assistance...if u cant agree with ur mil on daycare maybe you should try in home daycare centers...sometimes they are a lil more comforting for grandma's with their lil angels...

Brandice - posted on 08/14/2009

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thanks for the encouragement! Good to know I'm not the only one that feels this way.

Courtney - posted on 08/14/2009

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i am a 23 yr old mother of 3..i have 19mth old twins and a 5 yr. old...i have been home for almost 2 years and am finally going bak 2 work full time and cant wait...girl u need time for you and if work will supply that i am behind u 100%...i personlly feel that its fine for u 2 work and the kids 2 be in daycare..they not only need the socialization of other children but the trust bond between u will also develop stronger because they will always look forward 2 you coming home...

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