anyone else have no social life because they don't drink?

Nicole - posted on 07/27/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )

529

5

82

I'm just wondering if anyone else feels like their social life is suffering because they don't drink. My husband and I don't drink. Well, I don't drink, my husband tries, but he's a lightweight, lol! I just don't like alcohol, I think it tastes disgusting and I don't like the way it makes me feel. I'm almost 26 and I've never gotten drunk. The most I've ever drank is 2 wine coolers, and I only drink those because I like how they taste. But I haven't had any in years. My husband tries to drink every now and then but gets so sick he swears off it for a few months. Then he kinda "forgets" and drinks again, lol! Anyway, it seems like that's what a lot of people do when they get together and it kinda leaves us out. Almost everytime we go to someone's house there's alcohol. Mind you, people aren't falling down drunk and stuff, but they are drinking. I'm thinking that's one of the reasons we don't really have any friends. We almost never have people over because we don't drink and it seems to be awkward when there's no alcohol.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

FATHIYA - posted on 07/27/2009

4

1

0

Just because they do it it dosent mean its ok.Dont change for anyones sake.As for your husband he might appear to be unprincipled if he should not do it just because others are doing it .its weak.You dont have to if they are not comfortable with you haveing soft drinks then they are not your freinds lose them and get new ones.

14 Comments

View replies by

Casey - posted on 07/17/2014

20

0

6

You deff. Shouldn't feel like "the odd man out." My bf and I are in the same boat. I've never gotten drunk nor tried to. The smell of alcohol and taste makes me feel sick to my stomach and my bf is in the point in his life where his drinking partying days are over and now the thought of it make him sick to his stomach.
At times we do feel a little funny when we see past friends go out in hopes of drinking and we dont. However I feel like from deleting the party beverage out of our lives it has given us a stronger bond to one another.
I've never had to fear going out and being in a bar or pub and having someone try to hit on me or vise versa with the bf nor do we have to experience any akward drunk arguments between each other or friends. The majority of our friends that a real still into the going out party scene are either single or have brief relationship due to the loss of commitment either person cares to take.
I feel like we lost many friends because they still are trying to enjoy the single life and do anything by their own free will while we are settling down and ready for the next chapter in our lives.
Overall when I look at them they probably do consider us boring but at the end of the day we always have each other and I wouldn't trade that for any drink or thing in the world.

Judy - posted on 07/16/2014

1

0

0

Finding it very hard to find friends who don't drink. When we go out with friends or family who drink I feel like we make them feel very uncomfortable which make us feel uncomfortable. I think it is very hard to be with people who are drinking and you are not.

Miangelbug - posted on 07/28/2009

121

4

10

Nicole,

I totally understand where you are coming from. My husband is in the military and we just moved to El Paso, TX in December. We are both originally both from Ohio and that was the only state I ever lived in. We basically had to start fresh with friends and I don't find the military crowd as "friend" quality for a Christian couple like us. But we quickly became great friends with the miltary families that go to our church. Our church has a Sunday School group for 20 something that we used to go to. We are no longer going to that group because my husband and I are helping teach 3rd and 4th graders. But we do still fellowship with them for the activities. This is the best social life I could have because none of them drink (or at least not around me). I don't know if you go to church or not but you might want to try hanging out with the church crowd. Most churches near military bases have a lot of military families just like yourself. We are Baptist and I will admit that they LOVE their fellowship that involves food. lol Hope this helps.

[deleted account]

I don't drink much, and if I do it's 1 or 2 drinks and that is it. I know how you feel, though. I like getting together with my old friends from highschool every now and then, but now I feel like it is a chore because all they ever do is drink (to get drunk). I don't like how it makes me feel the next day and it is also too expensive to go out drinking. There are other things I'd rather be spending my money on, like dinner with my daughter and hubby. We have been fortunate enough to get in touch with a guy that my hubby new since childhood and his wife and I really hit it off and they have 2 kids the same age as my daughter. They also are not big drinkers, so that makes it nice. And when I do go to a party, I am more interested in the food than the alcohol, anyway! lol

Jaime - posted on 07/28/2009

769

35

94

I am not a big drinker myself, don't like the taste very much and can't see the reason for drinking every weekend like some people do. I maybe get "drunk" twice a year, I will have the occasional pina coloda when it is hot out. Forget beer, the taste is horrible. Our neighbourhood has weekly camp fires, I go and we have a great time lots of laughs, we will go out to a pub and I don't need to drink to have a good time. I laugh at all the other drunkards am able to drive home and function normally with my kids the next day.



It is hard to move to a new town, away from family and friends you were comfortable with. I agree I do see the women off tending to the kids while the men drink and talk crap, but it doesn't bother me any. Have you tried to join a sport or activitiy both you and your husband enjoy where you could meet new people?? I am on the shy side, where my husband and I just joined volleyball and playing on a co-ed baseball team. We have met alot of new people and have created a whole new circle of friends that we have things in common with. Keep looking, friends will pop up somewhere for you.

Lisa - posted on 07/28/2009

136

24

9

I am 30 and have never drank, pretty much the same reasons, it tastes bad and would never be able to live with myself it I did something completely out of character while drinking. We have some drinking and some non-drinking friends in fact some of our friends are recoverring alcoholics, we have fun no matter who we are hanging out with, although every once in a while a friends says " We need to get you drunk" :s

Nicole - posted on 07/28/2009

529

5

82

Well I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way! My husband's in the Air Force and we live in Virginia, 1000 miles away from our old friends and family, they're all back in Florida. So the only people we really ever hang out with together are people he knows from work. And the guys have hobbies my husband has no interest in, like cars and those model planes they fly, and the wives...let's just say a lot of the families I've seen are not like us. They're not exactly "wholesome" people I'd like to hang around with. And most of them have older kids. Apparently we got a late start in having our baby, lol! For the longest time we were the only ones without kids and it would break my heart whenever we would go to a party and the guys were all drinking talking about work, cars, etc and the women were off tending to their kids and talking about them or their sister's kids, etc. I stopped going to those things. I'm finding it really hard to make friends. It's not like when you're in school and you just talk to the person sitting next to you. And what kills me is a lot of people I meet complain they have no friends and they're bored and lonely and blah blah blah, but when I suggest doing something they disappear. I do have one friend I hang out with occassionally, but she just had a baby so she's a little busy right now, she has family coming and going to see the baby and all. Anyway, I guess I need to be a little more proactive in finding friends but I don't know where to start!

Mel - posted on 07/27/2009

5,539

58

228

i know what you mean my good friends barely ever see me and when they do i end up upset because i just want them to be like me and have a few drinks then go to bed, not roam the streets drunk then show up back at mine at 4-5am when i have a sleeping baby. i had to give up having people over because they were just to disrespectful of my child and my home. i get invited out to peoples birthday parties and to go out to the cas or the clubs. I have never been to the casino and I have only been to a club once since I was 15. its not for me but in a few years when my daughter is older i may consider doing it every now and again. If only my friends were happy with me having a few drinks even on my birthday i drank maybe 4 drinks over the whole day and everyone kept opening drinks and giving them to me and trying to get me to do shots. Its not that I dont drink or dont want to drink its just I have a child and I do not need the hang over nor do I have the money to catch taxi's and run around at clubs and pubs buying drinks

Crystal - posted on 07/27/2009

273

19

22

I know what you're talking about. I just don't feel that urge to drink, plus (like you) I never liked the taste of it, no matter what I tried. So I just stopped trying.

On the other hand, my husband doesn't drink b/c addictions run in his family and he doesn't want to become an alcoholic.

So it was hard when our old friends started drinking more and spending more time at bars, but then I got pregnant and it's like we're barely friends anymore. Sad, b/c we had been friends since like middle school, but I guess that's how life goes. Luckily we have a group of newer friends from college that we have more things in common with and who know how to have fun without alcohol!

Debbie - posted on 07/27/2009

32

8

4

Hey Nicole, Maybe it is time to get some new friends. My hubby and me stopped drinking and We got rid of the old and brought on the new. It is a change , but doable. Hope u get your social life back!

Liz - posted on 07/27/2009

2,013

3

450

i understand exactly what you're saying. Almost all of my friends drink now, and being the only one out of them to have kids, well that really doesn't help my social life either. After I had my kids they pretty much never invite us out to do anything anymore.

Sheelah - posted on 07/27/2009

84

54

3

i hear ya i don't really drink and don't really like it either and all my husbands friends that we hang with always drink....but it does feel like you get left out kinda and everything....i just stand there and agree to what everyone says lol cuz i don't really seem to have much in common with them....but yea i pretty much don't have a social life either because of it..........i would just rather not be around it............

Jamie - posted on 07/27/2009

1,488

41

234

I dont drink and my social life is fine. I dont need to drink to have fun. Plus I can always DD. It only affects your social life if you let it.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms