Asking friends for a babysitters(babysitter poaching)?

Om - posted on 05/16/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




I have a question about whether I should be offended by the following. I'm a stay at home mom and often times have difficulty if not impossible to find a babysitter so that I can go to doctor's appointments, dentist appointments etc alone without children. About six weeks ago I went to my 6 week PP appointment(second baby boy almost 3 months!) with both my baby and my three year old son in tow. I could not find a babysitter. It was awkward because I was having a IUD insertion and my curious three year old boy was asking lots of questions and I was trying to keep him north of the border and discipline in an awkward position. So fast forward to today and I'm trying desperately to find babysitters so I don't have to do something like this again. I have a two mom friends and we occasionally get together for playdates since all of our firstborn sons are the same age. I asked one of my mom friends twice about using her nanny(she is a work from home mom and needs a nanny) about using her nanny/babysitter for occasional doctor's appointments etc. My friend responded saying that her nanny has a very unlimited schedule. Well I come to find out that my WFHM friend has given my other SAHM mom friend(who we all do playdates together with) the name and number of my WFHM friend's babysitter/nanny. And my SAHM friend often uses the WFHM friend's sitter. I kindly confronted my WFHM friend about our STHM friend using the same sitter and her only reply was to look for sitters on other websites or she offered to babysit my boys. I thanked her for the offer but told her I thought it wouldn't work because I need someone to babysit in my home and my WFHM is expecting this summer and I told her it would be too difficult with her new little one(imagine four children under 4!) I feel very offended by this and I'm wondering if I should be?
I understand babysitters are hard to come by but I told my WFHM friend that I really only require care for occasional appointments and possible date night. My elder son has NEVER been left with a sitter and my husband and I have never gone out alone since we've become parents!


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Amy - posted on 05/18/2013




I have gotten names of babysitters from other moms and like you it's just something I need occasionally as I have the kids in daycare. I also have asked Sahm when I'm in a real jam to watch the kids for me. If you have colleges in the area look to see if you can find a reliable college student. Our high school also has an early childhood development program so you can reach out and try and possibly get some names.

Also if you could join a playgroup and meet other moms, ask them who they use.

Michelle - posted on 05/17/2013




I have NEVER used a babysitter but have a wonderful group of friends that will help me out when I need it. I would probably find some less stuck up friends and find some down to earth nice ones instead.
My oldest is nearly 12 so that's a long time have never used a paid babysitter but it can be done with supportive people around you.

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