At what age are you considered "old enough" to have a child???

Lisa - posted on 09/10/2009 ( 33 moms have responded )

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Im so sick of all the comments about being to young to have 2 kids...its even better when they hear the older one is 5!!! Yeah i was 17 when i got pregnant with him but why is that so horrible?? I finished school, started college and i work 40 hours a week... The same ppl who say im too young are the same ppl who tell me how good they are. I married their father and we are still all together living on our own since b4 my 5 yr old was born!!!!!!! What age do you have to be to get these ppl to shut up???

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Kimmy - posted on 09/13/2009

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old enough to be able to support yourself and a child and take responsibility for that child .
old enough to not be a child yourself .
If you "accidentally " fall pregnant while still a teen then your too young and most defiantly irresponsible .
If a teenager cant even figure out how to use contraception then how the hell they going to know how to look after a baby ???
Having said that you have done a great job of providing for your family in a loving environment , Kudos to you : )

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Cherise - posted on 02/28/2014

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Hi I'm 25 by the time I was 22 I had three kids, two of which are twins. I got married at 23 and bought my house at 24. I too work hard and bring up my boys with very little help as my in laws do not live local, my dad passed away and I'm not too close to my mum. It doesn't matter how old you are as long as you are a good mum!

Mari - posted on 12/27/2013

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Wow i guess I'm not alone I'm 25 years old i have a 7 year old daughter and 1 year old son I'm married to their father waited on having my second son wanted to enjoy the first for a while me and my husband are happy we have been together ever since we were 16 years old and every time i go to the doctors office i hear people say is that your daughter aren't you like 17 years old . or when i take her to school i hear comments like is she your sister you had her really young huh . i really can care less what people say because I'm happy a good mom and I'm with their father and we've been together since day one and got married were on our own home and we try our best to be the best parents we can be so screw what people say and their just unhappy with their own lives

Gail - posted on 10/19/2009

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they won't shut up. it doesn't matter what you do. it won't make a difference. as long as you know your kids are taken care of...who gives a shit what anybody else thinks.

Emma - posted on 09/24/2009

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well i was 15 when i had my first still at school and i carryed it out all the way then when i was 17 i had my second child and then when i was 18 i had my third so i was 18 with 3 kids im still with the kids father and i love it i have never had any comments apart from me bein a great mum

Tiffany - posted on 09/22/2009

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No matter what age you are I think people will always offer their opinion..even when they arnt asked. People are just rude when it comes to having children.

Katie - posted on 09/22/2009

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Face it, no matter what age you are and having a baby you are always going to have people saying one thing after another. I'm 21 and expecting my first and I hear from my grandma, people in the grocery store and what not that I'm too young and should be married.. Some one is always going to want to say something about your age, so I say, let them. It may be something you don't want to hear, but all it is is words. I'm happily living with the babies father & I am in my own place. I'm happy and if your happy thats all there is too it.

Annie - posted on 09/22/2009

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Fun thing I like to think in the back of my head whenever I'm getting hit with the "you're too young" spiel: "I was 18 when my youngest was born, so by the time I'm you're age, instead of dealing with a newborn like you, I'll have my own life again, when I'm more capable of enjoying it. I will have done my job, my calling, by the age of 36, while you will be in your fifties when you regain your freedom." Also, my mother was 33 when I was born, and growing up, I felt that she didn't relate to anything I was going through, like it had been too long ago for her to feel what I was feeling. My hope is that I will be close enough to my children that I can be more understanding and help them get through their teenage toils in a supporting fashion because I've been there and I can still remember it! My parents raised me to be more responsible than most kids my age, so when I got pregnant at the age of 16, I was already engaged to her father, who I had been dating for over 2 years, and we immediately prepared and got excited. There's no sense in regretting having a child at a young age because children can feel the resentment. I finished high school with a 3.98 GPA and put off college until they don't need me around so much. I feel like I wasn't ready for college at that point anyway. I was burnt out on school and wanted life. This has been wonderful, and I wouldn't change it for the world! And screw anyone who thinks they know more about my life than I do! :-P

User - posted on 09/22/2009

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People are always going to have something to say. It's frustrating, but it's always better to be the better person. If you're feeling ambushed though, turn their comments back on them. If they comment that they waited until whatever age to have kids, just say "oh it must have been hard to wait that long until you were mature enough to have kids..." :D If it doesn't shut them up, it'll at least stun them for a minute or two!

Jessie - posted on 09/22/2009

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I agree with the whole 'they are miserable and need to put down others' idea. My boyfriend and I are 24 and 25 and people constantly ask when we are getting married etc. Our son is 2 months old and we have been together 4 years...what's the rush to get married?! Also, I look much younger than 24 so people who don't know me often give me dirty looks when I'm with my son like I'm some sort of criminal for having a baby. It's ridiculous. You are old enough when you can take care of yourself and your kids. Also it bugs me that people assume since we are 'young' and unmarried and I am not working yet that we must be getting government assistance and using taxpayers money. We do not use any programs such as WIC or EBT (not that there is anything wrong with people who need them) and it just shocks even my family that we can provide for ourselves! What the heck?!

Tiffany - posted on 09/21/2009

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People are always gonna talk it doesnt matter if you are 13 having a kid or 40 having one. These days people are having kids before teenage years so I dont see why it matters to people how old you are and what you do with your life. My sister was 16 when she got pregnant the first time. I even know a girl that got pregnant at 12. I dont see where it is anyones business. You take care of your kids and you are still with the father so screw them. Im 20 and just had my daughter and that was too young for people to but I dont care what they think, its my life.

Nicole - posted on 09/21/2009

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Maturity has nothing to do with age, nor does age have anything to do with your capacity to love and care for another human being, especially one you created yourself (with a little help i assume). I ignore negative people who judge... what do they know anyway.

Cyndi - posted on 09/21/2009

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As many of the moms on here I was preg. at 17, had my son at 18. They never shut up, they never go away, and they are all just miserable people. And an issue that some of the moms on here haven't even considered with their " wait till your an adult, babies shouldn't have babies" talk, if someone was, heaven forbid, raped, and got pregnant, it's not fair to judge. Would these people rather the girl have an abortion? I think not. And just because it was a rape baby doesn't mean she doesn't want it or won't love it. and do their best. Just love your children and do the best you can and you'll be just fine.

Lucy - posted on 09/21/2009

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i was 28 when i had my son and am now having my daughter and i'm 29. I wish I'd had kids a bit younger!! you have more energy! I know lots of younger mums who are doing a great job. I think the most important thing is knowing yourself that you're doing a brilliant job and just ignore these ignorant people. You obviously have a lot of love in your life and that's what counts xxxx

Sheena - posted on 09/21/2009

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I too have a five yr old and he has just started school and all the other mom's are sticking there noses up at me bcause of my age. I say who cares what anyone thinks we are all doing the best job we can and it is not anyone elses job to tell you when you can and can't have a baby!

Tracy - posted on 09/21/2009

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well i was 14 when i had my first and 15 when i had my 2nd and i have had alot of ppl tell me i was to young to have kids but i love my kids and would do anything for them it really doesnt matter how old u r it matters that they r looked after . ive been called all sorts of names and i dont know why because im still with my kids dad

Jamie - posted on 09/20/2009

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My cousin was 15 when she fell pregnant with her first, 15 years old!!! Imagine how she must have felt. She has 2 kids now and is 18 but is still very very happy and an extremely awesome mother. I don't think they will ever shut up lol

And the best thing to do is just not listen to their crap lol

Tammy - posted on 09/20/2009

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We were in sort of a similiar situation, I have been with my husband since I was 15 (I'm 22 next month), we got married at 18 and alot of people were shocked to find out we were married at 18, but eventually they got over it. We just had our first son 11 weeks ago, everybody was thrilled because they had been asking for a couple years now when we would be having a baby!

Jessi - posted on 09/18/2009

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im in the same vote.I was 17 when first pregnant,and my husband and I have been married 4 years and together before we conceived her.I found and still do that even midwives criticized me for being so young,and because I look young I still get odd looks from other women and mothers when out with my three girls.I agree,they need tonot judge a book by its cover.I find that just because we are young does not make us any less commited to our children,and that there are women much older and finacially(so its thought)secured then we who struggle with motherhood.I have learnt to just ignore it.I love being a mother,andits my husbands and my choice to have our family,who we can support and care for.Noone has the right to judge,but they always will.Just enjoy your children...

Nicole - posted on 09/13/2009

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I think it's just a matter of our society feeling too free to judge other's lifestyles. I don't think there is an age that makes you qualified to be a parent. If you provide a stable and loving home and you're responsible your child is not going to care if you were 17 or 27 and no one else should either. I'm almost 25 expecting my first and I sometimes question if I'm ready but I don't really think anyone is ever ready.

If you really want something to say to these rude people I would tell them "My son (daughter) is the best thing that ever happened to me and I'm very happy with my life but thank you for your concern".

Destry - posted on 09/13/2009

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when your a legal adult.. first and for most.. I dont believe in babies having babies..... granted things happen, I am aware of that, but I believe you should be able to to care for yourself first before you PLAN for babies ..yeah they are cute, the idea of having a baby is nice, but they are alot of work its a messy job,you'll never look or feel the same again, alone time is out of the question and babies cost alot of money.. when your ready to become totaly selfless and willing to be puked on, peed on, and pooped on all day.. then you should be all set.. but I know 40 yr old woman who dont meet those qualifications.. so for the most part its an individual thing.. a maturity thing.. not an age thing...

[deleted account]

I was 23 and engaged to my babies father when I found out I was pregnant. We heard the same comments, plus the whole unmarried baloney. Those people never shut up because they like feeling like they are better than others. It sounds like you have and are doing an excellent job. When someone says something, ignore them and walk away. They don't know what the are talking about. Some of the younger parents I know are better than the older ones!

Crystal - posted on 09/12/2009

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its awful....when i had my daughter i ws 25...but i look young and i wasnt married to my husband at that time....they thought i was 16 when i was having her at the hospital and were treating me like crap....unwed 16 year old having a baby oh my!...when they found out i was 25 everythng changed, sad eh!?

Jamie - posted on 09/12/2009

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ooooo, m favorite question. there is no magical number, techincally your old enough you start getting your period. But you should be able to supposrt your childs needs, shelter, food, clothing. And this doesnt mean living in your parents house or living off welfare. When your capable of doing it on your own then you can start having kids. Until then keep it in your pants.

Jessica - posted on 09/12/2009

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They will never shut up so dont worry about it who cares what they say big ups to you sounds like you doing a great job!!! i was 18 when i had my son who will be 6 next month and i hear it and i just tell them like this he saved my life so im thankful i had him and yes i married his daddy and yes i finished school and yes i work 40 hrs a week no its not the best job but it pays the bills :D and i tell them i will be able to keep up w/ mine b/c i am still young LOL :D

Sarah - posted on 09/12/2009

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I had my daughter two weeks after I turned 17. I get that mostly from ppl my age or younger, I hate that!! I dont get that too much anymore, and I dont really care anymore anyways. I'm a great mother, I get told that all the time and my daughter for the most part is well behaved. I just started dating again.I'm 26 and a single mother (her father died and he wasnt a good man) who has her own apt, car, ged, college degree, and 40+ hr job, Im a hard worker and a girl scout leader! I think I'm going to have more of a problem with my own family when I find someone, you see their mostly all christains and believe in waiting til your married and one of my aunts even believes in no kissing til your married (even though non of them waited!). Thats fine but not for me, I have a daughter so I'm picky anyways. Just live your life the way that will make you and your own family happy. To heck with others and their closed minded ways!!

Yelena - posted on 09/11/2009

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Well I am am 28 and 4 kids now and people finally leave me alone. I was 17 when I had my first daughter. I too graduated HS and am a full time nurse. People just like to judge. I'm happy all the social services questions have stopped every time I bring them to the Dr or hospital. They would always go through the line of do you hit your kids ?s with my first 2 and I haven't been asked once for my 2 year old!

Esmeralda - posted on 09/11/2009

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i would just ignore them...i know,its hard to.but really,who cares what they think or even say?



you have a wonderfully family and im sure youre a great mother,so just be confident in that and go on about your business. ;)

[deleted account]

good for you! I'm glad it has worked out for you really. I think most people just don't want to see someone 14 have a baby and be screwed b/c daddy leaves and they are left scared and alone. but when the family sticks together that is great. i'm glad you have support and are happy.

Iysha - posted on 09/11/2009

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lol. I get the whole "you're too young to have a baby" thing too. Once I tell them I'm 21, they are like, "oh, you look way younger." I'm always like god, people haven't figured out that women don't like hearing that comment until they hit their 30's? lol. I think most people think that if you graduated High School before you became preggers, then that's ok...or maybe it's when you're out of your teen years....or maybe...lol. THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW!

Karalee - posted on 09/10/2009

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They will never stop saying it. I had my first when I was 17. I am 28 now with 5 kids...get told I am too young to have kids...but mostly because I look 22! Just ignore them.

Andrea - posted on 09/10/2009

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heres the thing they never shut up.... theyre unhappy with their lives so they have to nitpick at everyone elses..... theyre the same people that probably tell older mothers that they are too old.. there is no pleasing them so i say who cares as long as your happy with your life :)

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