awkward family in law's!! not the parents its the sister in law!! PLEASE HELP!!

Lauren - posted on 09/06/2009 ( 16 moms have responded )

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me and the sister in law have never gotten on! awkward, nasty bitchiness now im pregnant its getting worse! we dont speak, or talk but she rings and gives abuse ect! help me!!

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LISA - posted on 09/06/2009

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you and your soon to be husband and this baby are all that matter... If she is only tring to ruin you and him then just write her off... I did with my Mom she did the same thing so i just cut ties... people can always say what they want but it doesn't mean you have to listen. It really is your husbands choice... if he is through with her then he needs to cut all ties with her... I don't speak, see, or even allow my son to see my mom... Your baby needs only positive people around it when it is born... and that is your's and his job to do for it... discuss what you and him are going to do because you can't do this it obviously isn't working... time to get a new plan and follow through for what is best for you, him, and the baby. I also don't speak to my mom's mom and one of her sisters because all they do is harass us... my son is one and has never meet any of them... and what ever you and him decide stand strong together as hard as this seems it comes down to you and him to make it all work... his sister obviously doesn't care enough for him to make it easy on the two of you... do you think she has a problem with your age... some people are just shitty cause your young.

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Jessica - posted on 09/07/2009

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to behonest with you if your soon to be husband can;t stand up to his sister on your behalf- then screw him and if he or his family cant take the time to see your piont of veiw then forget them- no one needs to be shut down and disrespective or shoved under the rug all the time- maybe if you left for a bit he would relize that but you need to do what best for you and that baby

Liz - posted on 09/07/2009

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Stop answering the phone when she calls.

If she does this in person tell her "Im not going to speak with you unless you can behave rationally and speak to me with respect" and then get up and leave the room.

Rachael - posted on 09/07/2009

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She sounds very familiar and i dont blame you when you use the word evil. Dont let her get between you and your partner thats exactly what she wants but i know its hard if he is taking her side. Do you have family with you or a close friend you can spend time with? You need there support someone to vent too and who is on your side. What a horrible person she is and she will get hers sooner or later as karma is a powerful thing!! If you need someone to chat to feel free to pm me. Hope you are okay and i wish the best for you and your bubs :)

LISA - posted on 09/07/2009

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Lauren i am so sorry... It is hard when you feel that your spouse isn't behind you 100%... me and my husband had a fight about that... i told him that If I can't depend on him to stand up for me then I would do it myself and it wouldn't be pretty given the chances that we would be over... It is always hard for a sibling to fight against one another in fear that they may become enemies... you are 19 right and I'm guessing your partner isn't much older or the same age... believe it or not but men especially at a young age have no since on what women need or how to even be in a relationship... just take time to cool down... and allow him the same space... then when you can speak to each other calmly about what happen... tell him how she makes YOU feel and how much this relationship means to you... try not to attack and call his sister names though it is very hard...sometimes it is best to try not to call names out of respect for the fact it is his sister even though she doesn't show you that respect it doesn't mean you shouldn't be respectful of the position your husband is in... he too is in the worst spot both of you are his family... the stress granted is not good at all on you but explain to him that you feel she is trying to come between you and ask him what he needs you to do to help the situation for his sake too... and then try to discuss how to make it easier on you as well... but you love him enough to have this baby with him so remember that and hang on to each other for dear life and nothing can separate you... this baby makes you two one...you and him are all that matter so you both need to do what's best for each other... our job as husbands and wives are to support, love, and provide each other with the strength to carry on together when the other lacks it... if you work together through the good and bad times you and him will be closer and stronger... try to give him a break he's is in a really shitty spot... good luck... try to put yourself in his shoes and when you discuss it have him try to put himself in yours...

Lauren - posted on 09/07/2009

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Well things have escalated today! she came into my father in laws house and got all up in my face to make matters worse my partner took her side! i just couldnt belive it, i said to him to f off and go and be with his sister! i have just walked miles home on my own. i dont want him anywere near me or his sister or family! she is a malicious coniving cow! and she is doing what she can to ruin my pregnancy and my relationship!! i said get lost to my partner ive had enough and all she could say was let the bitch go!! It is really getting to me, i cant handle the situation now! i cant even go to my partners nan's funeral on wednesday! i feel like all his family are taking her side, even though they have all had a taste of her medicine! she is pure poison!! I just cant believe it has come to this! Looks like il be a singel mum! It does my head in as im not even 3 months gone yet! and she is behaving like this towards me! i feel like she is willing me to loose my baby! now i know that sounds very evil! but believe me if you knew here you would know that i am not making this up! she is the evilest person ive met and is out there too ruin my life!!

Rachael - posted on 09/06/2009

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oh lauren i cant beleive it, but ive had the same thing just happen to since June 09 with my partners sister. Constant abusive phonecalls and slander towards my 17mth old daughter, her neice! Its so horrible i feel for you so much. She is jelouse of all the attention you are getting through your pregnancy. And because you are pretty i can tell by your profile pic. Dont let her get to you tho, stay calm and cool she wants a reaction. Its deff not fair and she has no right to do this to you. We dont see my partners sis anymore she only just recently appoligised with no explaination (yesterday) to my parner but the things she has said are unforgiveable. I hope it works out for you tho, there are counselling services for families who have these sorts of problems. But both parties need to agree to it thats if you think the relationship is worth saving with her. Best of luck to you and your family

Sarah - posted on 09/06/2009

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I also have a problem with my sister-in-law. Sometimes people are just not going to change because they honestly don't think they need to. It's probably a good thing to just cut ties until things die down, or for good. My sister-in-law has moved to Colorado now, which makes me jump for joy, but sad cause I love my brother and their kids. It sucks that it has to happen, but I agree that your kids need to be around positive people. Good luck!!

Kaye - posted on 09/06/2009

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well me and my in-laws never really had much to do with eachother until my son was born and i told my husband that since they didnt come around when he was not here they are not going to start now but with my sister-in-law she came up in my house telling me what i need to do and i just dont talk anymore to her and when she trys i just say hey and thats it i guess what im trying to tell you is you dont need the stress on you so dont answer the phone cause you already know that yall will wind up in a fight and if you see her than say hey and walk away than everything will be ok dont let her get to you good luck

Jennifer - posted on 09/06/2009

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Unfourtunately some people are never pleased with anything. The best advice I can give is that you sit down with your husband and let him know exactly how you feel. You two have created a family together, and as soon-to-be parents, your concern is protecting your family. You need to present a united front with her. He needs to stand by your side and support you as she is made aware that her inappropriate behavior is not acceptable. Explain the consequences of continued abuse from her, and if she continues, go through with it. Do not give her the opportunity to spew her poison into YOUR family. Cut her off completely. Like the old saying goes: if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. This is a special and stressfull time in both you and your husbands life, do no allow her to complicate it with her negativity. Remember that the baby experiences everything you do, good and bad. Good luck to you and your husband.

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all i can say is just be nice to her it will show her u r better then her it will drive her insaine dont let her get to u just think about u and ur baby that all tht matters at this time and if she keeps ringing just ans and say that u have a life and have better thing to do then to sit on the phone to her sorry and good bye

try that see how u go take care and good luck

Noel - posted on 09/06/2009

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Don't feel bad I don't get along with my sister in law at all!!! To make things even more complicated she is not even my husbands real sister it is his step sister once removed! But she feels the need to take care of her Bubba and stir up all kinds of problems with us. My best advice is to ignore her if all possible and she will get tired of messing with you and move on to something else. If she is anything like mine all she wants is to see you and your husband fight. Don't let her get the best of you. Good luck!

Kylie - posted on 09/06/2009

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I have been in a similar situation except my bad relationship was with my mother in-law and her boyfriend and for years it really hurt me. I just couldn't understand how come they could be mean to me or our kids.Over the years we would have an on again off again relationship untill over the last 2 years she has done to much damage to our kids and tried to break us up.In the end we have had to cut ties altogether it wasn't healthy for us or the kids ,the abusive phone calls all ours of the night then her turning up in our front yard screaming at us all because of a choice we have made to protect one of our sons .I wont go into the details because they are much to personal but i will say that over the years she has tried so hard to lie and manipulate others to hating me that they have come around to seeing that we haven't done anything at all and now she is being ignored.it will work itself out such hatefull people only bury themselves just live your life and enjoy it for you and your family..i know it is hard all the best of luck

Lauren - posted on 09/06/2009

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yes she is the older sister! she is 27! 7 years older than me! she has a 2yr old son and has had a baby not long ago. even my partner doesnt speak to her! we dont talk she just spends her evenings bitching about me to his family! and ringing me up and giving abuse! her and my boyfriends ex are also close as he has a daughter from a previous relationship! they are making my lives hell. bitching about my pregnancy and all that! it is ruining the experience of it for me! i have said she wont see this kids! after all she has done to me! there will never be a reconciliation. i tried talking to her and said we dont have to like each other but we can tolerate each other for my boyfriends sake! but 5 minutes after that ive had abuse ect! even my partner has had enough of her! its making this relationship very hard for me to even want to continue! xxxx

LISA - posted on 09/06/2009

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does she have kids at all? if so is she trying and unable to get pregnant?... if this isn't familiar maybe because you are pregnant that no matter what even if you and your husband divorce ever then you are still part of their lives it's not like you'll go away... when it is just you and your husband she could be this way and if you and him split she'd never have to deal with you again... but now with a kid that is not the case... also if you and him a doing better in life than she is it may just be plain old jealousy... maybe you and her should talk and come to an agreement that you don't have to like each other but if you could both be pleasant to one another for your husbands sake... possibly she will except that you don't care if she likes you but you care more for her brother than yourself... that should mean something to her... plus is she the older sister? sometimes if that's the case she may be jealous of the fact that she has less influence over him and that your opinion is the one he wants... there are alot of reasons it could be... but the best thing to do is be on your best behavior to her and talk to her about it as hard as it seems that's the only way I began to get along with my husbands older brother... good luck... if you need to talk more then you can message me!!!

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