Baby #2? Are we ready...? Is anyone ever ready?

Kelly - posted on 04/08/2010 ( 16 moms have responded )

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Before my daughter was born, I though I wanted my children to be about 3 years apart. Now my daughter Emma is 1 and I have started to think about having another child. I'm a little nervous but I figure that life is crazy why not have 2 before things "settle down". But my husband says he wants to wait until she turns 2! UGH He always wants to wait for things. He wanted to wait 2 years after we got engaged to get married, I said no, 1 year later we were married. Then he said no babies until we are married for a year, opps we got pregant after 6 months of marriage. What is he waiting for.... me to say "hunny, we're pregnant again!"????? What should I say? I need some advice? I wanted to get my IUD out in July and see what happens then......
And is anyone ever ready for baby number 2?

16 Comments

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Kelly - posted on 04/13/2010

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Wow Kim well put! I will have to completely think about that and make a pros and cons list! Thanks for your imput and you all make valid points.

Julie - posted on 04/11/2010

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To add to that my sister and I are 11 years apart and we couldn't be closer!!

Julie - posted on 04/11/2010

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I'm in the same boat kind of. If you feel you are ready then I say go for it!
My husband is the one who wants to have baby #2 asap and I want to wait til it feels right to try again.

Kimberly - posted on 04/11/2010

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I find myself going back and forth on this one. And I have to ask myself what my reasons are for wanting another one sooner than later...for me, it seems that I miss the excitement of finding out I'm pregnant, and the whole pregnancy thing.(When really, I hated much of it!) Which I know, is dumb! I'm such a "Right Now" person...So, I'm really going to make myself wait until after my daughter turns 2 to think about having another one. This way I know I'm not rushing it! (she's 15 mo.) So I guess you should ask yourself why you would like another one right now--and if you have all the right reasons and intentions for adding to your family right now, hopefully you can convince your other half!! :) And just make sure you give your body plenty of time to get back to normal after removing your IUD to start trying! :) Good luck!

Kelly - posted on 04/11/2010

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Thank you all for the advice. After spending a couple of nice nights with my husband, we did decide to wait until maybe later this summer.
The only thing I would like to say, is when people are leaving comments on here, don't be so critical.
My brothers and I are each 3 years apart and I have more in common with my oldest brother who is 6 years older then I do with my middle brother. But I think that is because my middle bro is divorced and no kids. my oldest bro has 4 kids.
I just was looking for some advice, and I found it. THANK YOU for the advice.

Louise - posted on 04/10/2010

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Elysia this doesn't always follow though. I know people that have 15 months between them and they don't speak. There is 2 years between each of us. There are 4 of us and sometimes it feel to me like 10 years. I had kids young when my siblings were going out and partying and having fun! I love them to bits but sometimes its impossible to get on!

Elysia - posted on 04/09/2010

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Id just like to add that there is very large gaps between me and my siblings and we now have nothing in common. Im 23 and my brother is 18 and my sister is 8. My brother and I can barely hold a conversation now, we were closer as children but from about 10 on he was just a pain to me, not that i dont love him. And the bond with my sister is more of a maternal bond as i was almost 15 and took on alot of the duties for her. She is a wonderful little girl that i adore and she loves being an aunty but really the only things i can talk to her about are how is school, what did u do today etc. so my advice dont leave it to long

Louise - posted on 04/09/2010

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I have 3 and a half years between my two and it is fab for me! Aside from the fact that the older one was old enough to know what was going on he also totally adores his little brother and will play with him and keep him amused if i'm getting dinnner or something.



As well and i know its not the biggest deal but because of the time of year they were born there will be 4 years between them in school meaning i'll only have 1 in university at a time!



The only time you'll know if its right for you is when you have the two. I was always told that i left it late because the first would be jealous! But my rule was only 1 in nappies at a time!

Amanda - posted on 04/09/2010

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That decission can be a hard one. I have 7 kids so i know about the nerves. I don't think your crazy at all and maybe you should talk to your husband some more if it's something you really want. having them 2 years apart is a good age difference. things may be crazy for you at times but having kids close in age seems to work out good cause they grow up being able to relate to one another. have them to far apart and one tends to annoy the other one worse and one ends up feeling alone cause usually the older one won't want to hang out with the baby per say.

Autum - posted on 04/09/2010

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If I had a man we would be working on #2. My son is 2 1/2 now and I think that emotionally I am ready. If your waiting on finances then I don't think your ever ready. My little one is getting independent. I got sick and he surprised me by getting him self yogurt for breakfast, changing his own pull-ups, and quietly watching cartoons until I could pull myself out of bed 3 hours after he woke up. He even offered to bring me a yogurt and a spoon so I could eat too.

Elysia - posted on 04/09/2010

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I had always intended on trying for number 2 when my son was 2 but i fell pregnant again very early he is almost 13 months and im 27weeks so i will only have a 16month age gap, which some days can b rather scary but i also think ill b able to get the late nite feeds and sleepless nites all over in on block rather than just get back to 8hrs sleep then bam its all gone again. but i think the gap really depends on you and your family, how you deal with stress and dividing your time and how independent your first child is, do they handle you being away, have they ever seen you hold another child, how did they react. You have to do what is right for your family. And personally i think no matter how many kids you have you are never really ready they all bring their own challenges to the game. Good luck

Tracy - posted on 04/09/2010

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I had my 2nd child when my other child was 1..It is a big change when u have two little ones crying at the same time and when both are hungry or both want ur attention..It is like having twins till ur older child gets use to having another person wanting his/her mommy too. U need to talk to ur husband about it. If things are crazy now u should wait till things settle down. Maybe u need to listen to him and let him make some decisions for the family and not just u doing it.

Kelly - posted on 04/09/2010

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Thanks Tia & Emma-leigh: They are yummy :) The desire does take over. From the begining I had said I wanted 4 kids husband said 2, we are both the youngest of 3. So, we are not compromising. Even numbers. I wanted them close enough where, they can still be friends.
At what age do they become a little more independent?

Emma-Leigh - posted on 04/08/2010

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i'm kinda in the same boat, to start with i always said i wanted a 4-5 yr age gap between kids but now we have our little girl i think hubby's 2 yr age gap sounds good. So i got all excited about working out when to start trying for another baby (our girl is going on 15 months) and hubby turns around and says i want a few years between them. AARRGGHH. i think men believe that once you fall pregnant the baby is going to come out right away.

as for being ready i don't think you can be, every child reacts differently to a new sibling i know i'm going to have my hands full because my girl thinks that she is the mummy to any baby she see's and that she should be the one holding / feeding / dressing, so in a way i want to wait but they grow up so quick i want them to be "friends" and be able to play games that they can both be interested in. Don't think i helped you at all but i'm glad to hear there are other women out there thinking the same as me :)

Tia - posted on 04/08/2010

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WHats the rush? Its hard to have a baby when your oldest is still not independent. Believe me I am speaking from experience! I def hear where you are coming from but at the same time your hubby has a point. Its just one more year and it does make it a bit easier.

Whatever you decide, it will be the best decision for you. Sometimes the desire for a delicious baby overtakes practicality! Babies are yum and a gift from G-D

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