Baby cries with dad?? Help!!?

Natasha - posted on 01/07/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




My Son Michael is 10 months old now. and his father was active in the military when Michael was born. Dad didn't come home until Michael was about 4 1/2 months old. Michael had always preferred me. but lately Michael has not tolerated Daniel at all. when they are playing they are fine. but when Michael gets tired and his dad tries to comfort him, Michael does nothing but scream. Daniel is under a lot of stress because he is looking for work. and i feel that that is what causes his temper to be a lot shorter than normal. but he doesn't tolerate any crying from Michael that lasts longer than a minute or two. but he gets mad when he hands the baby to me and he stops crying. i tried to tell him that its a mommy thing. and kids are always more comfortable with mom. but he is still upset that it happens.
the other day he got so mad that he actually caused Michael harm. it was an accident and Daniel felt awful about it. but my problem is that it was an accident done in anger. and the fact that he want to try and hold a 10 month old completely accountable for ALL of his actions when he won't take complete accountability for his own when i call him on it.
So my Questions are these

How do i go about helping my son and husband get past this speed bump?

And I Need to know if i should let the accident go?? Because Daniel feels it would be best if i went out for the day but i don't know if i can trust him not to get mad without me at least being close enough to pick up my son and walk away.


Samantha - posted on 01/11/2013




My husband has a very short fuse also, though he's never hurt our daughter. She's only 2 1/2 months, but she does the same thing with Dad--refuses to accept comfort from him. Our babies simply trust their primary caregiver, in this case their moms, the most and this is ultimately who they prefer to receive comfort from. I've tried to explain to my husband that the more time he spends with the baby, especially patiently comforting her, the more likely she'll be to start accepting his comfort. He still has a hard time with it, but I encourage them when he's in a good mood and don't even ask when he's had a hard day.

Personally, I think dependant on what the accident was, you should forgive it, but don't forget it. It is your responsibility to keep your baby safe. I would wait until your husband has demonstrated for a continual amount of time that he can soothe the baby and keep his temper in check before I'd leave them alone together for any length of time.

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