baby father and his sister trying to take my son.

[deleted account] ( 74 moms have responded )

Our relationship has been rocky but we never had family issues until the first.born grandson came into picture the sister wanna be the mother she's been controlling overbearing and lately demanding and assaulting me so on January 15 she trespasses in to my house demanded that I go with her so they could release her brother from jail i was on the phone with the cops when she swung and hit my baby and he fell on the floor so I grabbed a knife and stabbed her. So now he wants full custody of our son and he want our son to spend overnight with him but the thing is he lives with his sister and I am scared for my son and scared I might do something thats going to land me in jail. I have no family but my mom and i am just tired of all this I am actually considering just giving them the baby and. Leaving. I love him but I'm tired of the constant verbally and emotional abuse. I have no friends because of him. I lost my job because of him and he barely come see his child but he got time to go and have sex with other females then he tell me everything is my fault.smh I just don't wanna do this anymore. I don't know what to do my heart is telling me to keep fighting but my mind is telling me to let it go give the baby and go.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Carolyn - posted on 03/19/2011

898

19

140

i think you have a big leg up on them. I doubt they would remove your son and place him in a home with a woman who hit him and with a father with a criminal history and jail time.



I would take him and move, then file for full custody.



I couldnt imagine what i would have done if that bitch hit my kid ( accidental or not) id have done more than stab her, she would probably be dead.



If this is how they are treating you, could you imagine what they would do to a defenseless child who stepped out of line ? give your kid a chance, fight for him.

Carolyn - posted on 03/20/2011

898

19

140

i dont think he can get her for kidnapping with out a custody agreement in place. I mean if you flee in the middle of the night looking like a criminal it might not help. But single parents move all the time, for work, family , new beginnings, and they arent charged with kidnapping.

Mothers who take their children and leave abusive relationships arent charged with kidnapping either.

If the child is in her custody living with her, and there is no court order for visitation and custody, if i am not mistaken, she does have the right to relocate. The father could continue to see the child, but it would make it alot more difficult for the crazy sister to just walk into her house and assault them.

Rachel - posted on 03/20/2011

444

43

130

Ok First do not give your son up. He does not need to be around people like that. Would you honestly want him to be raised by them? You Fight till you cant fight any more and then fight some more. You file for full custody and you raise that little boy to be the best he can be. Do not give up Your little angel is worth it. Good luck. Whatever you do DO NOT pack up and leave he can get you for kidnapping no matter what the situation is. believe me i know. Good luck if you want to talk i am here. Just please do not give up

Carla - posted on 03/20/2011

7

19

0

that is scum !! get a AVO, then full custody. no mother! Woman or person! shouldn't go through what your going through! luv

Kelly - posted on 03/26/2011

56

75

0

honey this is your kid we are talking about never give up on him because if you do when the kid gets older you'll be the one answering why weren't you in my life. With the abuse part go to the cops press charges and get a restraining oder against them for you and your child and then get a lawyer and go for full custody of your child. let the lawyer know exactly what's been going on with them. Prove to the judge that they are unfit to be parents and you are the better person. Never give up on your child no matter how bad things are and get.

74 Comments

View replies by

[deleted account]

well ladies I am happy to announce that I am currently working at wic my child is with me full custody supervised visits for twohours forthe dad only and planning on moving. He has tried to contact me and is very tempting because in all reality I really do love him and want to work It out im just scared and I feel likeim going to beone of those crazy girlfriends that dont trust her man. So for now I dont know what to do btw hes taking me to court to appeal for partial custody

Nina - posted on 07/14/2011

12

11

0

Seat down,draw a strategy on how you're going to open a new chapter in your life.forget about the man and his family, get full custody and move on trust me you'll have a better life and you'll enjoy it.you should look for a job and uplift your life.Swtty you don't need a looser in your life.All you need is to focus and never look back. I have been there and am now enjoying my life with my son.I wish you the best.

Linda - posted on 03/26/2011

28

1

2

Oh , and as for your friend , you can tel him about it and just let him know you dont expect him to do anything just continue being a friend. After the custody is sorted then you can open up more- you deserve happiness.

[deleted account]

dont give in its hard at times i went through alot of things with my daughters father and i was there feeling that too.. but dont you do what you have to do for u and your son! go to court and get custody of everything save every txt phone call phone record everything that you can to prove how aeful he is take record of everything dont give you on your son if you love him you wont put him through that you are his mommy you are to be there to protect him do not give up on him you can raise a wonderful man you dont need a man to raise a child take care of that baby he needs you

Candace - posted on 03/26/2011

56

32

4

When you are certain that your court date will go in your favor which more than likely it will. And you know this gentleman is a possible permanent person in your life then tell him you are a single mother with a little boy. Most men as long as they love children will accept you and a child that is not theirs you just have to give them a chance and I wouldn't tell him about the drama going on right yet until you see how it is going to turn out. Because if the judge gives you everything you want you don't have much to worry about the drama will be cut down. Good Luck. I hope everything works out for you.

Heidi - posted on 03/26/2011

22

10

2

How old is your son? Are you still breastfeeding? If you are, it is a huge advantage to you and your son. They hardly ever take a mother’s nursing baby away.
If you stop fighting for your son and you being together, you will not only regret it for the rest of your life, you will see no point in continuing to live and only wonder and worry about him every minute of every day. You will hate yourself and life. You think it is bad now, but giving up your baby is the worst thing you could do. Go to the closest child care/ public health care unit for support. Find a “Parent’s Place” for you and your baby to meet and interact with other mothers and their babies. Form your own support group. You should go to a public gym such as “World Health Fitness Club”. Apply for child care in their “Kids Club”. You will most likely be allowed to bring your son in with you on your shifts, so bring him with you when you apply. Call ahead of time to see when the manager or supervisor will be in so you can drop off your resume and set up an interview. Be prepared for an interview when you drop off your resume. If you don’t have child care or a CPR corse, tell them that you are planning on taking it, or that you just need to up grade. You will most likely get hired.
I know it can be difficult, but once you have the job do not bring your problems into your work space. You will most likely make friends if you don’t share you baggage, at least not at 1st. Plus you should you this time and place as an escape from your and your son’s reality. Above all try to stay positive, try to have good energy, envision what you want to have happen in the end of all this craziness, keep believing and it will happen. Wishing you all the best and hope I was of help. Good luck and stay kind.

[deleted account]

thank you all for the advice and encouraging words. Last month in february he tested me and we talked about the whole situation I told him I was still going to go thru with the court for full custody and permanent order of protection against his sister. I also said that I would never try to keep my child away from his father so I would grant him the right to visit him in my house but he can't take him no where else. And this is why I say you give people a finger and they try to get your whole ARM, because he only comes to see him once or twice in the week and then gets upset when my son looks at me while he have him in his arms. Also he got to comfty and for the past two weeks he was asking to take him out on his own so I keep saying no and it gets him very upset. So yesterday I told him that is better if we just wait till Tuesday court date because I don't trust him with the child outside my house I don't know who he bringing him around and I can't let him be around or no where near his house. So he got angry and storm off. I told him if you say you wanna be there then why don't.you help me when I call you lately I been trying to take my driving lessons but I can't bring a child and the fact that I don't have a computer in my house because he broke it I been wanting to go out and apply to jobs but I have a child. But he don't take that into consideration so I told him motherhood is a 24/7 job and it cost more money when you not working.and depending on your self to pay the lights gas rent and buy pampers. So WISH ME LUCK LADIES MY COURT DATE IS NEXT TUESDAY AND I'M HOPING EVERYTHING GOES WELL.
P.S I FOUND A FRIEND A VERY KIND GENTLE SWEET CARING PERSON BUT I AM SCARED TO TELL HIM I HAVE A SON BECAUSE OF ALL THIS DRAMA I'M DEALING WITH.

Melissa - posted on 03/26/2011

22

2

1

wow, thats horrible. Is there some type of protection from abuse set up on either one of them? If not maybe there should be, then they can not get near you or the baby. Also when that happened with the baby I would had gotten a protection from abuse for the baby on the sister as well, you have alot of reasons to need this. It also sounds to me that they dont so much want the baby they want to make you miserable. So to give the baby over to them would be heartbreaking. And then what? You may never get the baby back at that point because they will have proof that you gave em up already and you may not get the baby back ever. I can only imagine what your going through and honestly i am sure it is hell, but think about what the baby would got through if they take em, or what you will go through without ur baby . You just needd to weigh the pros with the cons and see what is best for you and the baby., and then work on the rest and get the law, everybody and anybody on ur side to get these people away from you and that baby. good luck

Linda - posted on 03/25/2011

28

1

2

DONT GIVE UP YOUR BABY HUN! IF THE AUNTY ALREADY HIT YOUR SON , ITS JUST GOING TO CONTINUE TO HAPPEN AS HE GROWS OLDER. AS FOR THE FATHER , DONT WASTE YOUR TIME LOVING HIM IF HES NOT GOING TO LOVE YOU BACK AND SPEND TIME WITH HIS SON. I KNOW YOU HAVE NO FAMILY BUT PLEASE FIGHT FOR YOUR SON OR YOU WILL REGRET IT. DONT STOP FIGHTING AND AS FOR THE SISTER , GOOD ON YOU FOR STABBING HER- TOO BAD SHE DIDNT DIE , . THEY ARE USING THE FACT THAT U HAVE NO FAMILY TO THEIR ADVANTAGE.PLEASE DONT GIVE UP AND KEEP US ALL POSTED- IF U HAVE NO FAMILY , WE CAN BE YOUR SUPPORT- THEIR MAY BE A MOM ON HERE OR MANY THAT ARE IN OR HAVE BEEN IN SIMILAR SITUATIONS. HANG IN THERE PLEASE. :)

Lisa - posted on 03/25/2011

1

13

0

Don't give up!! I was in a similar situation with my first born (i know exactly how you feel) but you have to keep fighting for you and your son...they need to know that they cannot do this to your child or you and stand up for that!! I had to get a restraining order and everything to ensure that he stayed as far away as possible and after completely ignoring every attempted phone call/visit he has stayed away...but your baby needs you in a way that the father may never be able to be there for him so be strong and keep positive thoughts and people around you and your son!!! Us mothers are strong and can do anything, you just have to stay positive and know that it can and will get better!!

Kate - posted on 03/25/2011

66

28

6

if the brother that was in jail your babies father, he has very little chance of gaining custody, if the police were involved when she hit your child, and they are living in the same house once again he has little chance. Keep fighting for your baby, Move if you have to and get orders out against both of them, Your childs safety is at risk, and I know in NZ they take it extremely seriously. And with you worried about him taking your son around his sister, you can have it court ordered that she is to have no contact with him. I have a friend here that is going through the same process at the moment.

But be strong for your son, and dont give up

Leah - posted on 03/24/2011

3

47

0

I was 17 years old, on social assistance, and all of my family members are on the other end of the country. I HAD a proven history of recreational drug use, and I still won full custody of my daughter. It is because of my daughter that I am the person I am today, and even when the odds were stacked against me, I would never give up fighting for her. She needed me to fight for her. I still, 10 years later, deal with bullshit from her father, but I'm prepared to deal with that for the rest of my life, because I know she's worth it. You don't realize the strength you can find in yourself until you put it to the test. When it comes to your kids, there are, or should be NO limits to what you will do for them. You can get supervised access, if you feel that strongly about your son seeing his father, to ensure that he is not in the company of certain people, but this will be difficult. Talk to your lawyer, I'm sure there are other measures that can be put in place for circumstances such as these. Whatever you do, DON"T GIVE UP!!! If you do, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. Good luck, and stay strong, no matter how badly you want to give up.

Katie - posted on 03/24/2011

71

10

1

What you need to remember is you are his mother. You do not have to stay with him. If you give him to this so called father what kind of life is this baby going to have? If you give up rights there is no getting that back honey. DON"T DO IT. You have been abused emotionally and physically which probally makes you think u aren't fit. BUT UNLESS YOU ARE A DRUG ADDICT, get the baby, get an attorney. FIGHT this. you can do it!

Teejay - posted on 03/24/2011

40

17

4

You are such a strong woman. Dont give up! It is your child! You held this baby in your belly and gave birth, and raised it! Dont let anyone wear you down. Also try to remember to not let anger or being worn down show. You dont want to end up in jail, you want your life with your child.
I wish you good luck!
all the best.
tj.

Angel - posted on 03/24/2011

1

15

0

If u got a full custody like i do then they cant do anything to try take ur son...if u have a full of custody. I know how you feel and i have been there. My daughter's father is with his gf since i was pregnant with my daughter and got full custody. I have stay single since my daughter turned 1 yrs old and finally found my love of my life who will take care of me and my daughter. when she turned 2 now and her grandmother or her father called the dcs on me and try to take my kid but they cant....they just want me to get hurt and i love my daughter very much and no one will not take her from me....never. dont give up ur son bc ur son need u as wonderful mom.....

Candace - posted on 03/24/2011

56

32

4

I definitely know what you are going through. I have two little boys and there father is always threatening that he is going to fight to get them and that he is going to have his sister help and all that wonderful BS. Well, my oldest is 19 months old and it still hasn't happened. I get told that I am a worthless mom don't deserve them, I get every name in the book, he has threatened my life, some of his family has, when I was pregnant with my 3 month old he pulled a knife on me. He blames me for everything. It is definitely a very trying situation. But I have decided that I am fighting no matter what. I have the verbal and physical abuse on record. In my state they have crossroads I have their number to get help and get a PFA against him. I fight because my children are my world I would honestly more than likely die without them. They are what keeps me going and I am 21 almost 22. So whatever you do don't let him win. Depending what he was in jail for, you more than likely have the upper hand. Depending where you are from most places do not accept abuse of any kind towards women. See what you can do about more than likely you can make it stop. My best advice is let that little boy be your drive, your strength, do it all for him. A child can live without their father if they need to but their mother no. A mother's love is unexplainable and uncomparable, it's unlike any other love. If a mother's love could somehow run this world it would be a lot better off. Follow your heart.

Carol - posted on 03/24/2011

43

21

1

Never ever give your baby up to the father and his sister, what you should have done when she hit your son you should have reported it to the police since you were on the phone withthem. If you are a good mom and take good care of your son then they have no reason to take him from you. You don't say how old your son is, but if you fear for your son due to his father then get a restraining order against him and his sister. Are you close with your mom? If so seek out her help in this matter, if the father doesn't know where your mom lives go stay with her for a while and if need be if your mom doesn't work then go look for a job and once you get this job after a while look for another place to live or move to another town where he can't find you.

Michelle - posted on 03/24/2011

19

6

0

Don't give up. Once you have your baby then you will be glad you got him. Keep fighting for him. He will grow up and you will be glad you did. Don't lose hope. Just because you have no friends you still have your mother. Just because he has family support does not mean that it is in the best interest for the dad to have him. If you want his dad in his life just let him have supervise visitations just in case if his sister is there. Do that and see how it goes. I wish you the best of luck but Don't give up on your son. I wouldn't know how I would live my life without my kids.... Good luck

Hanna - posted on 03/24/2011

8

24

0

the sister has no right in this at all.
DONT GIVE UP!! FIGHT FOR YOUR SON!!!! HE IS YOUR BABY!!! YOUR MEANING FOR EVERYTHING!! DO NOT GIVE UP!!! YOU CAN BEAT THEM ON THIS!!!
try and get full custody! you were protecting your son and thats why you stabbed her!
if you were on the phone with the cops when this was happening, didn't they hear everything happen? didnt they hear her tuen and swing and hit your son? hear him fall to the floor? everything? or did you hang up? what happened?
you need to fight for your son. don't give up. do not let that scum of a father and eek sister take custody of your lil man. uh-uh. go get that full custody.

Kimi - posted on 03/24/2011

486

13

41

Are you kidding me? This is your baby! Get a restraining order protecting you AND your baby from the sister. If the father wants to see the baby he will have to move out of her place or be somewhere else for visits and since it's most likely the aunt that wants to see the baby things should calm right down for you.

Segale - posted on 03/24/2011

22

12

1

I don't think your problem is that you don't love your child or that things are dificult or that the damn sister is a real bitch. I think your problem is that you really don't believe with all your heart that yoiu deserve the good things in life. Sometimes we can fight with all our might for something and still not believe that we actually deserve it. If you don't believe with all your heart then you will get depressed because of all the obstacles and challenges that will come. But you have to know that your son is a blessing that was given to YOU for you to care and protect. Protect him from all harm. You are a mother not just out of love for that man, but because you were ordained to be his mother. You were chosen to bring your son into this world. And you might be thinking that the father was chosen to be the father just as you were chosen to be the mother. But if your child is being hurt it your duty as parents to protect him. If the father can't understand that his sister is going to hurt your child then you need to protect your child from the father as well. You need to belive that you and your child deserve the very best. And that you can and will build a good life for him. DON'T DOUBT YOURSELF AND YOUR ABILITY TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR CHILD. You may be worried about what will happen to you financially if you are given full custody, tell the judge that. The father will have to pay child support. There are programs that can help ask your lawyer to help or ask the judge himself to point you to some of these programmes. And as you said, you have been taking care of you and your child without much help from the father anyway. I suggest too that you find a counselor or a mentor, someone who can give you advice and encouragement when you need it. STOP DOUBTING YOURSELF!!!!!!

Pamela - posted on 03/24/2011

12

9

1

there r lawyers that do special prices and sometimes even free help to people because they need they wins in court. Don't give up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Track down one of these lawyers, record every time he calls and visits, everything he pays for, every detail that he contributes or makes worse for ur baby. that way you show a back round on what he does. don't hesitate to call police as soon as u think there might be a problem.
You may be tired of all the problems and heartache that they r giving you but understand if you give up what will happen to ur baby short and long term. If anytime you need to step up it is now! It won't be easy but you can make it through!
Oh and I have known people to get up and move away, you can do that as the mother if there is no custody agreement at all. Thats only if you have that option.
Goodluck and keep on fighting!

Tamara - posted on 03/24/2011

47

16

7

I wouldn't give my son up for anything in the world, and you shouldn't either! I would keep fighting until I took my last breath if I were in your shoes, speak to your lawyer. If you want to relocate I don't see a problem. Think of what you've gone through so far, if the sister will hit your son while you're on the phone with 911. What will happen if he was around them full time? If nothing else you can get full custody and let the father have supervised visitations, just no over night stays and away from the sister.
No one should have to go through what you and your son is going through. I hope the best of luck for you both, and that everything works itself out for the best.
I wouldn't worry too much, as long as you don't have a record and he does and she's hit your son and it's filed as well, I doubt any court is going to award him custody.
Keep fighting for your baby! And like I said before, best of luck!

Carly - posted on 03/24/2011

197

63

12

Wow what a terrible situation but i agree with most of these mums that say DONT GIVE UP ON YOUR CHILD!!!! HE Is your child,he needs you in his life!! Be strong!! TAke advice ,find a womans shelter or the salvation army in your town that can find you shelter but DONT stay with that man,and please DON"T allow them toxins to have your child You brought him into the world,you must love him,so protect him and keep with you you wlll regret it if you don't and he is your son!! Good Luck!!

Amanda - posted on 03/23/2011

344

44

9

please don't give up!!!! ur baby needs to be with u..u need to fight for him, get custody and once u have custody get away from the drama...good luck and I hope everything turns out for the best for u and ur son!!

[deleted account]

Never give up on your child especially if you know hell be better of with you , you dont want to put your child in a dangerous situation and something happens to him and you feel guilty , make sure you keep all your evidence and when you go to court dont hold back say everything you know . Believe me your child is worth it . god bless and good luck!!!!!

Cynthia - posted on 03/23/2011

22

8

1

dont give up your son. i could never say i understand what you are going through as no one should but if you give him up, you will always rethink your decision and never know if he is safe or not. keep fighting! hope you find some support where you are!

Carly - posted on 03/23/2011

24

12

1

dont give up. if you love your baby then dont. u do not want your child to be raised by abusive ppl. u have to be strong , positive and a good romodel. go to court if you have to, get a restraining order against her for you and the baby.

Adelaide - posted on 03/23/2011

16

3

2

If you're a good mother, than fight for your child! I know it's hard. I have toxic people in my life, too. Did you file charges against her? Restraining order? I would try to get a lawyer, too. There are some free ones if you are low income. Just call around and see who can help.
Don't let them get you down. I know it's hard. I have my husband and it stinks that you don't have more people on your side, but make your kid proud of you. Do not let your child with them. You will regret it!

Trish - posted on 03/23/2011

166

51

16

Why fight? You are stooping to these people's level. You are the child's mother...he doesn't belong to your sister-in-laws from hell. You need to tell your husband and those women that your child comes first. He never asked to born and you have the responsibility to keep him safe and well. As a mother you need to protect him and your self. You also need to use your energy instead of fighting to plan your next step out of there. These people have no power over you unless you give it to them. If they come to fight call the police straight away. When the police come, you tell them what happened...I wish you hadn't stabbed the bitch...you should of just punched her lights out.



Also do you really want to go to prison over these crazy people and leave your child with them? If you want to win...get away and live a good life with your son...and look after him well. Life is too short to be dealing with unnecessary drama. Look at your son and know you brought that boy into this crazy world and you need to protect him and teach him.



He's ALL that matters. Have you tried calling a battered Women's' refuge/shelter for help in your area. Look on the internet to see. These women will help you and keep you and your child safe. Tell them you and your baby's lives are in danger. They will help you and give you advice on what you should do. Look them up and call. Look up any services that are free. You & your son need to get the hell out there.



NO ONE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR BABY. F**K THE DRAMA. FIND PEACE AND LIVE FOR YOUR CHILD...NOT THESE A.HOLES.

Keshayla - posted on 03/22/2011

8

20

0

girl its a man............dont give up keep fighting for whats yours n thats your son.......fuck what they all think go to the court house n get a restraing order on both of them please to save you and that baby, keep your head hight girl n never give up.

Laura - posted on 03/22/2011

7

20

0

How could you even consider giving up your child! I understand your tired of the BS but you have to be strong and fight for you son!!!!!!!You are his family and he belongs with you, a loving and caring mother. Any court will see that. Hang in there girl!!!!!

Elise - posted on 03/22/2011

1

12

0

aww i must say i was in a relationship like that not as bad as what u are but dont give up ur a strong person to go thogh what you have already the best thing i can say is pack up and leave make a new start with u and your son you both dont need this in your life i feel for you and i know its hard i just packed up and left it was what was best for me and my son good luck take care

Julie - posted on 03/22/2011

17

14

2

You should not give up at all yes its hard and painful for u to go through !!!!! ur son needs u the most.. just keep fighting for him and once u get him take off start ur life with ur son over and make it to be what u want and whats best for the both of u.. I'm very sorry to hear what u have been through it will be hard for a bit but damn worth it in the end .... get a restraining order on his sister if u haven't done so already !! best of luck

Savona - posted on 03/22/2011

143

11

0

Fellow mommy! You love your child! Your child is worth the world to you isn't he? Well then fight for him, him and your mom are your family =) stick together!
I'm sure things will work out for the best for everyone, until then, do what you feel in your heart is the right thing to do. A baby needs his mommy and thats that *HUGZ* message me if ya wanna talk, goodluck and take care.

Ashley - posted on 03/22/2011

12

22

0

sweety dont give up you will regret it in the long run... you seem to have a more stable life and your son is better off with you ... fight till the end and dont ever get discouraged... u can do it. just think about that beautiful baby you have that is counting on you

Vicki - posted on 03/22/2011

116

40

2

PLEASE PLEASE DON'T GIVE AWAY YOUR BABY!!!!

You are his mummy and you are the one he knows and loves! these people need stopping seriously how dare she come in and hit your son? I'd have done more than stab her!!!

Blimey you're in a pickle but you have your son and your mum, stick together and do whatever you can 2 keep it that way! xxx

[deleted account]

Wow you stabbed her?! Brilliant! Hey, I would not give up. He is you SON. You cannot possibly leave him around that crazy woman. In my honest opinion, you are doing the right thing by fighting. I personally would get police and such involved. Sounds like you have nothing to worry about, you were defending yourself AND your child from a trespassing abusive lady. I am pretty sure that any law would protect you from having to put up with that. You should file for full custody. I don't think that baby-daddy has any chance in this, especially from his history. That, and you should seriously consider moving completely, and if you have no friends there anymore, you don't need to worry about passing on your address so he should never find you. But don't do a runner with the baby because then you will forever have to run and that would leave a bad mark on your record. Do it legally and properly and people should understand.

I wish you the best of luck darling! -Hugs and such for luck.-

Melissa - posted on 03/22/2011

6

42

1

You need to listen to your heart.. There is a reason that it is telling you to keep fighting.. Your mind is telling you to give up because that is the easiest.. Dont listen to it. That is your son and you know what is best for him.. If you can try to get full custody of him and then pick up and leave somewhere where you and your son will be happy.. You and your son will be in my prayers. Good luck

Shauna - posted on 03/22/2011

74

18

7

You need a support network. The father sounds like scum. You don't need a father, you need a positive male role model, and that doesn't have to be genetically related in order to be positive and good influences on your child's development.

I would move to an area where I can get help and support from family. Legally get full custody and get him to start paying support towards your family. See what you can get in the way of grants, assistance and other programs that can help you to succeed.

And do your best to meet a network of other single moms and positive help for your life.

The most important thing here is to do what is most healthy and good for yourself and your child. And it sounds like the sperm donor and his sister are the opposite of that.

Amber - posted on 03/22/2011

53

171

3

i would move far away change your number so they can't get ahold of you find a job and don't tell him you have a job. then file for custody.. get everything from his lawyer or him sent to your attorny so they don't know where you moved to/live.. never give up on your son.. he needs you more then anything right now and if you leave him give up and move on.. poor guy won't have a chance.. :(

[deleted account]

I watched a Teen Mom episode where the dad had the baby and was keeping it from the mom. The mom showed up with the police and they told her they cant take the baby from him because like Sammie says, possession is 9/10 of the law. They can not come in and take your baby from you. You just have to stay strong.

Sammie - posted on 03/21/2011

141

74

11

So, I'm just gonna throw this out there, and hell you can all call me a bitch if you like... by why on earth would a woman give up a child?! You carried him for 9 months, fuck me, you stabbed a woman over him, and now because his father and family are being petty little shits, you wanna give up? You know when you fall pregnant there is no barleese button? You can't just change your mind one day and not be a mother. It doesn't work that way. Sure, it's hard, but you don't just walk away!

With children, as horrible as it sounds, possesion is 9/10's o the law. A policeman told me this. So if you have him, keep hold of him until a freaking court says to share him. He is YOUR son, you carried him and it's up to you to protect him.

Girl, stab anyone else you need to, but for goodness sake, don't give up on your little boy.

Andrea - posted on 03/21/2011

75

19

10

hun do you realy want to leave your child with that woman and the dad... realy...NO i dont think so i use to feel like that aswell like i could just give my baby to her dad but it will be the worst opossible thing you could ever do to YOUR bundle of joy this baby loves you uncondishanly and clearly if he gets locked up he's not a good example for your child however nothing stops you from taking your child and moving to another town thats what i did and i tell you it was the best decision ever! NO more verbal or physical abuse!!!!!! if he calls i can chose not to answere you have all the power when he starts talking bad to you you can put the phone down and off you control how he can treat you. you dont need your child thinking his behavour in normal (the fathers that is and the sister) he needs to consult with you when to see the child and its always best to go threw the courts they are there to protect you!!!! now there is one legal issue you need to attend to and thats the verabal abuse, i dont know where you are but is South Africa we have the telly communications act which if he abuses you verbaly over the phone you can chare him for abuse even if he points his finger at you in a threataning manner if you feel he is capable of doing what he is threataning you can charge him for assult DO it that way the court will have a recourd of his abuseive nature and then there is NO WAY the court will take your child way from you and give the baby to him NO WAYS!!
you got to take care of your self and your child so some googleing on the law!

Carolyn - posted on 03/21/2011

898

19

140

thats fucked up, someone attacks you and your child, you defend yourself and you are guilty of child endangerment ? unbelievable

Kellie - posted on 03/21/2011

4

9

1

dont give up keep fighting for your son. if you have to pack up and move then go to the court house and file for full and soul custody... they dont deserve for you son to be around them if they are that crazy. no one should hit a kid no matter if it was on purpose or an accident. keep your chin up hun and remember to take care of you and your son

[deleted account]

TThank you everybody for your support. I have tried calling free legal aide to get advice on my case and no one has reply back. As of right now me and the father of the child both got acs letters stating that we both have been found guilty of child endearment me b3cause there was a physical fight in front of my child him for domestic violence while the child was present. this just keep getting better smh.

Amy - posted on 03/21/2011

10

8

0

Never give up on your son! He needs you more then anyone and no fight is ever enough to keep you from him. Fight til the bitter end. My husband and I are separated and he has threatened to come take our two kids (our son being 2 months old and breastfed). I would never let him do that. If you have to, and have the opportunity to, move to another apartment or something and not tell anyone. I'm sure if you told your landlord (if you have one) they would let you move. Also, you need to be in contact with the police and document EVERYTHING that goes on between you and them. Write everything very detailed in a notebook with the dates and times if possible so if anything happens, You have evidence against them that will most likely help you win custody. I wish you best of luck and my prayers are with you both. God bless.

Melissa - posted on 03/21/2011

378

25

4

the mistake that probably was made was that your baby got hurt and you grabbed a knife to stab the sister, instead of calling the police. Don't run because you can possibly get yourself into more trouble. Get involved with someone who can help you advocate for the positive for yourself with a social worker or someone like that. Your doctors office may be able to set you up with someone like that, or if you don't have one, maybe the hospital or urgent care may be able to set you up with someone or get you in the right direction. At least if you have a social worker helping get you guided in the right direction then you are making better choices then grabbing knifes- that is using violence too! I know you want the best choice for your baby and it's great you came on here for advice, but now keep on going and keep on with positive stuff, ignore him for now and get positive help from social workers and community support in order to get full custody and the support you need to raise your baby!.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms