Baby father drama

Deandra - posted on 03/23/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hi ladies I'm new to this circle of moms I figured my 1st conversation would be interesting. I have a 3 year old baby boy he is very active and sweet at the same time. His dad and I have an on and off relationship we can't seem to get along for anything. He called ACS on me took me to court and filed for joint custody how ever wean aged to say well hey let's try and be civilized off the strength of our son. Well that didn't work but for so long, he currently has a girlfriend I don't know anything about at all I don't even know her name . The sad part is he takes her and my son out at the same time and act like a family , I've done as any women would do which is try and be an adult about the situation but how can you feel confortable with someone being around your child you don't even know. I've managed to put my feelings aside and said I'll let it be , the father seems to always come back to me and tell me all these things he wants from me and what can help better out relationship but we always end up going back to square one . I let him see out son with out any problems I don't bother him or anything. The sad part is he puts his girlfriend before my son because she has her own place and good job . My son is going for surgery soon and he wouldn't even make an attempt to say well is there anything I can do he rather stress about him taking out son out with his girlfriend so he can make it seem like he's a great dad. He buys him things but he doesn't provided any money or anything I've never take. Him to child support or did anything crazy. To top this all off he takes my sons social and file for him every year and gives me 300$ from it that's the only time he gives me anything. But to be brief it hurts because I don't care what goes on in his life and my soul is drained from this my mind is not focused at all I'm hurting and not sure what to do next. Ladies this is just the half of it huh !!!!!

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Deandra - posted on 03/24/2013

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Thank you Tonya everything you said is so true . I'm so used to always being nice to this guy and he takes my kindness for weakness I only allow certain things to go because he is the father of my child. But it's clear as day that he doesn't care about how I feel and how it would affect our son in the long run . I am going to take heed of your post and do it , it's only rite because if I don't do this now things WILL spiral out of control and I don't want that to happen at all. I'm tired of being hurt and back stabbed from this guy I keep using that excuse he's my sons father but that will only go but so far in life. I thank you for the post and advice may god bless you and yours.

Tonya - posted on 03/24/2013

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I'd say kick this dead beat to the curb!! I know it's hard, but in the long run it would be in the best interest of your child if you could move on with your life, find a stable and loving father-figure that he can see you with and have when he's with you and leave this other man behind! You AND your son deserve better!! Of course the courts will still allow his biological dad to see him (visitation, holidays, etc) but the routine would be healthier for your son! Plus the court would demand you alternate years claiming him on tax returns and things would be black and white! It's not an easy process but I'd get an attorney and get a court ordered parenting plan set up, mostly because it sounds like it would be the best for your son!

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