Baby sitting

Sherry - posted on 08/07/2009 ( 17 moms have responded )

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My only son is 13mnths and iv only ever let him for 3hrs i just dont see the need to i love having him and i just dont want to leave him with anyone he also has a heart defect so every day im happy to wake and see his beautiful little face. Is this weird? Does anyone else feel the same?

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Kate - posted on 08/07/2009

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for the first 6 months of my kids life i was pretty much a stay at home mom except i did have to work 2 or 3 nights a week at 4 hours a peice, usualy my mom watched her, but now that i work full time i do take her to daycare where shes happy. i love my lil alone time i do get when shes sleeping. Its either she goes to daycare so i can work or she goes to her dads to live and i never see her. so daycare it is.

Philippa - posted on 08/07/2009

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When I had my first son I absolutely hated leaving him with anyone. I first left him with my mother overnight when he was about 10 weeks old (I had an early morning appt that I couldn't miss and I couldn't take him with me so I had no choice as my hubby was working away), I missed him every second and spent every waking moment wondering how he was!! He's now 2 years and 3 months and has spent about 8 nights away from me and my hubby in all that time. He goes to my mother most of the time when I need a sitter for him, on the rare occasions he goes to anyone else he screams til he's sick and I get a phonecall asking me to pick him up (this was by other family members!!). Since I had him I've also had a daughter (now 1 year 3 months) and another son (9 weeks). My daughter first spent a night away from me when she was about 7 months old (my hubby and I were getting married when she was 8 months old and we wanted her to be used to staying with my mam as she was having her and my eldest son for us on the wedding night), she's never been a clingy baby but my eldest is very clingy to me. However I think that this is because he's still not talking and as I spend the most time with him he's learnt how to communicate with my by simple sign language or showing me what he wants. My youngest has only spent 2 evenings apart from me since he was born and then my hubby looked after the 3 children.

sorry to ramble on a bit but basically what i'm saying is that if you don't want to leave you're baby and you don't feel like you need a break then carry on with what you feel comfortable with. You're baby didn't come with an instruction manual so its whatever you feel comfortable doing! xx

Patricia - posted on 08/07/2009

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Quoting Crystal:

Having a sick child will definitely change the way you feel about leaving them. My baby was in Nicu the first three weeks and I didn't leave him with anybody for months afterwards. When I finally left I made it one hour and he was with my mom. Just do what you feel best with. The only one that "me" time is for is you and if you don't enjoy it because you miss him what is the point?


My son is 6months and also spent 3 weeks in the NICU for a level 3 IHV (intra ventrical hemmorage) in his brain.  When we got home I didn't leave him with anyone for a while.  I think the first time that I left him was when he was 4.5 months old and my husband and I left for an hour to go for a motorcycle ride.  I was worried at first but he loves going to NANA's house for a few hours each week considering now we live almost 40 minutes from her, instead of 5 minutes.  I totally understand where you are coming from.  Trust your instinct, but know that they will be okay for a little bit, even though you don't want to let them go.  Believe me coming from working with 6weeks to 5years old for 10 years in a center....it makes a difference if the child has some non-mom time.  Good luck.

Crystal - posted on 08/07/2009

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i'm the same way after I had my daughter there would be weekends that she would go stay with her grandmother it wouldnt bother me to much. I'd miss her but i knew that I would get to see her the next morning. And when I started working my mother was watching her I hated it! While I was working I got pregnant with my son and everything changed I was having problems quit my job to stay home with my daughter and pregnancy. After I had my son he had so many problems (acid reflux, ashtma, hole in his heart) there was one day my hubby took him with him so I could have a little time to myself I hated it I was calling telling him to bring him back I couldnt stand him not being her. Since they are older there are times that I want a break but they are my children I love them. Plus I only trust them with their grandmothers. And since the one that use to watch my daughter over night doesnt really want anything to do with them and my mother cant keep them overnight I keep them to myself. Yes my daughter doesnt like strangers but I think that it is a good thing. I know that she isnt going to run off with some random person she doesnt know. She will always be by me.. but if there is a family member around depending on who it is.. close family she has no problem with ones that she only sees once a yr at reunions she will not go around them she doesnt really know them she sees them as strangers. and as for when they start school I know my daughter will do great once she sees all the other kids. she loves other kids so i know she will not have any problems once school starts. sorrry so long

Ashanti - posted on 08/07/2009

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Well my daughter is 4 years old and i still find it very hard to leave her with anyone. The only people i feel comfatable too leave with is her dad (well he is her dad, lol), my mother and my older bro and i only can leave her 4 a night! :-)

April - posted on 08/07/2009

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its normal. i felt bad when we did have someone watch the kids, constantly worried about them, but now, no one will watch the kids, because they can't handle both of them, especially my son cause he's so hyper active and out of control. lol



anyways, my oldest never left my side when she was born and growing up, in a way, it sucked after awhile (didnt help her father wants no part to do with her), as she got older, she was clingy with me, always wanted me, never wanted me so leave and so on, I had to stay at preschool with her for half of the year and everything because she was used to always constantly being by my side 24/7 and she's almost 4 and still this way to me...

so with my son was born, I got used to it, i felt bad, but i had to do it, to "get away", even if it was for an hour to get him used to not being around me 24/7 and he's not clingy to me. he'll cry for maybe a couple mins but thats about it, then he's fine.

im glad only one child of mine is clingy to me and not both.



you have to watch being with your chilren 24/7 all day and night.

not all children will be clingy but alot are.

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I have heard of a few mothers who are really insane about this. They NEVER go anywhere without their kids and they won't even let strangers near their children. I even know one woman who won't let her MIL even hold the baby because "she won't do it right." This is a little insane, but I don't see any problem with not wanting to leave your kids for long periods of time. I miss my son a lot when we leave him, and we've only left him for more than a few hours one time.

Mattee - posted on 08/07/2009

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I don't have any children yet, but I'm expecting my first. I'm almost 6 mos and before I got pregnant, my vision always was finding a babysitter as soon as the baby is born so that I would be able to go out with friends and whatever... BUT everything has changed now that I'm actuall expecting. My husband is active duty military and we don't know anyone that I would feel comfortable leavign our baby with... The mommy instinct has definetly kicked in. But no I don't think it's weird at all!

Kelly - posted on 08/07/2009

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My son is almost 9 months old and he has been in daycare since he was 6 weeks old... For me I had no choice but to send him to daycare, being a single mom I had to work to support my family, and now that me and his father are together i still work and i am also going back to school in August.....I don't like being away from him but it is just something that i have to do.....he gets so excited when i get to daycare to pick him up and he has never cried when i drop him off at daycare....i think that if you have the option to stay home than thats awesome....i wish that i could.....but i also think that children lurn alot of social skills when they attend daycare....he has also stayed the night at my sisters house numerous times, and also at his grandmothers house a couple times....i do miss him when he is gone but its nice to get out sometimes.....i think that as long as you are ok with always being with him all the time then i think that everything is fine......and its not weird at all....

Crystal - posted on 08/07/2009

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Having a sick child will definitely change the way you feel about leaving them. My baby was in Nicu the first three weeks and I didn't leave him with anybody for months afterwards. When I finally left I made it one hour and he was with my mom. Just do what you feel best with. The only one that "me" time is for is you and if you don't enjoy it because you miss him what is the point?

Stephanie - posted on 08/07/2009

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I know my son is turning two on the 15th and my daughter will be six months on the 12th and I don't leave them with anyone who is not family. My son isn't really talking (at least not with words that I can totally understand besides "yummy" and a few others) and I don't trust strangers to take care of him until he can tell me what he did that day.

User - posted on 08/07/2009

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my eldest is at pre school and took to it very well they are all very indepenant and not at all clingy and when i do need to leave them(hospital,dental appts etc) they are looked after by family or godparents and are fine with me leaving no tears or tantrums and they are certainly not molly coddleled(if thats how u spell it?!!?) they are all outgoing and sociable-they dont hide behind my legs when someone talks to them!

Amber - posted on 08/07/2009

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I feel that it is not good for the childern if you spend every wakeing moment with them, and they never spend time with anyone else without you. My son stays with his grandparents a night a week, I miss him when im not with him but I feel that it is better for him this way because when he gose to school he wont have a problem with being away from me. When he gets older he will be able to go to camp and overnights at friends houses. If your child is never away from you it is not able to be a child. I can understand if your child is a infant but getting into toddler ages it needs to spend some time away from mommy.( for their own good)

User - posted on 08/07/2009

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i have 3 boys,1,2 and 3 and i hate leaving them,people take the mick and say im too attached but i dont think u can be too attached to your own children,i know people of leave they're kids with every tom dick and harry and are pushed from pillar to post which i think is confusing for the kids.i have only spent one night away from one of my children and that was my eldest when his little brother was in hospital and i had to stay with him overnight and it tore me up that i couldnt be with him but unfortunately his brother had to come first that night.i was going to go back to work after my first but as soon as he was born i knew i could never leave him for that long.i didnt have babies for someone else to look after them,i dont need a break from them and i dont need "me time" i love my boys more than anything in the world and at least when they are with me i know they are safe and happy

Melissa - posted on 08/07/2009

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I feel the same my daughter will be 6 months old next week and i think the longest i have been away from her is about 1 hour,I go back to work on the 1st of October though and i am really not looking forward to it,My daughter cries when she is with other peole and she cant see me so my family keep saying i should let her go to someone for a few hours to get her used to me not being there but the thought of her crying breaks my heart,I know i should maybe try it to make it a little easier before i go back to work but untill i need to go back i want to spend as much time as possible with her. I am also breastfeeding which i have heard can upset a baby if it cant smell the milk from their mum.

Gemma - posted on 08/07/2009

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if you love being around him and dont feel the need for a break then its fine. Grandparents especially get a bit annoyed with this as they have this vision of having baby for over night and babysitting, before they are born, then they get disapointed when they dont get to. Its not weird, make the most of it because he will be 18 before you know it. But if you have a second you will probably feel a little differnt as you will need a break as it is alot more work!

Belinda - posted on 08/07/2009

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I'm exactly the same! My little girl will be 12 months old in two weeks and I haven't left her longer than 3 hours either. Everyone's different though, some need and want more personal time and some don't. I don't think it's weird at all, especially with your first. Every second spent with them is so precious and at this age when they are learning new things all the time they are lots of fun to be around!

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