Being a mom at 20

Brittany - posted on 10/03/2009 ( 22 moms have responded )

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Hello all mothers who had their child/chldren in their early twenties, how did you feel about being a mom at such a young age? Did you feel as though you were missing out?

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Nicole - posted on 10/06/2009

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I had my first when I was 20 and was 22 when I had my second. There are times I feel as though i ma being left out or left behind by my single, non mom friends. I love my children dearly and would not trade them for the world. A way my friends and I got around this was to schedule a montlhly girls night and there are times I know I want to just go out and drink but instead I have my friends all bring a favorite snack and we have drinks while pigging out to homemade goodies and watch movies while my kids sleep in the next room. It takes more planning to be spontaneous, but you can still have a life outside of the kids while being a great mom.

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Stephanie - posted on 09/18/2012

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I am about to get so much hate...



I hate it. If I could do it over again, I'd have an abortion. My husband doesn't show me any affection. We can't afford food on the table. I can't go to school cuz it would put us into too much debt. I have no friends. Everytime I look at my daughter I wish she'd never been born.



I love her.

I love her smile.

I love her laugh.



But it is not enough when your just a month's rent away from being homeless.



And yes when I was pregnant we had everything in place so that we wouldn't be in this mess. But she happens when it hurts you the most.

Krystle - posted on 09/11/2010

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I know this is a pretty old post...but I thought I would put my 2cents in....I got pregnant just shy of 20 and had my oldest son just shy of 21.......I wouldn't say that I thought I was missing out. But now 2 more kids, and 4 and 1/2 years later...I'm 25 years old and I feel like I'm closing in on 40! I feel like a hermit...I stay in the house all the time....never have a babysitter....even if I did I couldn't pay them or have any money to go do anything...nor do I really know anyone to do anything with. I love all three of my boys. But sometimes I do wish I would have waited another year or two before having kids. Just so that I could say I was able to act my age for a little longer. But in all actuality, I have to say that I wouldn't change my high-stress family life in for anything in the world...

Sharon - posted on 09/11/2010

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not really, I travelled b4 and did college after I had my daughter, i still enjoy myself and do more or less same things my friends do...I make the best of the situation :)

Lindsay - posted on 10/07/2009

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Hello, I had my daughter Faith when I was 18. She is 6 now. It never bothered me or my husband. When I was 22 I had my son Jordan who is 22 months. Some people are quick to judge my husband and me by saying we got married and had kids too young. I don't think we "missed" out on anything. We are happy we had our children young and can still have more when the time is right. Just because we might not be able to go out every weekend doesn't mean anything. Sometimes, when we can't find a baby sitter or we know our friend's down in Miami are all hanging out and we aren't yeah it does get a little "sad", well for me atleast, but then I remember I am so blessed to have two beautiful happy kids who love me more than anything in this world and that is enough for both my husband and me.

Taylor - posted on 10/06/2009

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I was a mom at 20 also.. and now I love it. My son makes me so happy and brings the littlest things to my attention that i would never have thought of. He makes me the better person.

Nadya - posted on 10/06/2009

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sometimes i do, i got pregnant at 19 had my son at 20 and now to this day i feel like i wish i would have waited cus its so much that i wanna do but it dosent mean i cant it just means its gonna take a lil longer so my advice is turn into super mommy do what u have to do for yours it just takes a lil longer thats all

SheNesia - posted on 10/06/2009

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I had my son at 23 and no not really. I felt like i was already to the point of being tired of going out to the clubs and hanging out all night with the girls. I saw it as a learning experience and a growing experience. You being twenty is really nothing its the maturity that accounts for everything. You will get through it just keep your head up and don't think about the shoulda coulda wouldve's think about what will happen, all that is yet to come for you and your new family. It will make you realize real quickly you didn't miss out on anything.

Chelsea - posted on 10/05/2009

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Its really not that bad, somehow you will manage to fit a social life into mom life and its actually quite exciting! You really dont miss out on much because you will realize you want to be home and spending time with your lil one.

Jen - posted on 10/04/2009

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Quoting Jessica:

No, but I'm not much of a "party" person...so having a kiddo at 22 wasn't an issue for me! My son is the light of my life & even though for the hubby & I to have a night to ourselves requires a bit more planning, it's TOTALLY worth it. Becoming a mom is the most rewarding experience of my life!!


I'm the same way as you. I was never a party person. I had my daughter a couple months before I turned 21. She hasn't held me back from anything. I graduated college on time and will hopefully be returning for grad school next fall. I've still been able to do everything I've wanted. It doesn take more planning time now though. Totally worth it and I wouldn't trade my daughter for anything.

Brittany - posted on 10/04/2009

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Thank you all for your encouraging words, I am proud to be a mom and I think its great to have a little person who feels that i'm their world, it really makes me want to cry sometimes when I look at him I still cant believe he is mine

Esmeralda - posted on 10/04/2009

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i got married and pregnant and had our daughter at 19.

my husband deployed when she was 6months old and came back when she was almost 13months old. A LOT changed during that time. i had to be strong and take on full responsibility for our daughter and EVERYTHING ELSE in our lives.



i do feel like i missed out on a lot,but...i wouldnt trade our life for anything :)

Kammi - posted on 10/04/2009

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I had my son two days after I turned 21. I had a very ruff prego. I had my daughter two years later. I had another ruff prego. I feel very blessed everyday because I had a hystectomy in April of 2006. I was told that I had five years to have kids and the doctor was right on the money. Somedays I feel that I have missed out on alot of things in my life but I was really never a kids. I could not imagine going all of my life without kids.

Jessica - posted on 10/04/2009

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No, but I'm not much of a "party" person...so having a kiddo at 22 wasn't an issue for me! My son is the light of my life & even though for the hubby & I to have a night to ourselves requires a bit more planning, it's TOTALLY worth it. Becoming a mom is the most rewarding experience of my life!!

BethAnn - posted on 10/04/2009

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I was 19 when I got married and was pregnant with my first..that being said we had no "wedding" "honeymoon" and i didnt have a "bachelorette" party...when our daughter was 3 months old hubby deployed and when he came home 1month later we were pregnant again (this time I was 20 and daughter just turned one) and i turned 21 while being pregnant...so I feel like I missed out on a lot of certain "rights of passage" but every time a i look at my girls I know they are worth it...I just keep my eye on the bigger picture. when my girls are both over the age of 21, I will only be 41 and I will be able to enjoy them fully and have a great relationship with them as adults. I can say the hardest thing is losing friends over it bc they dont have the responsibilities that you do and they go their own single girl ways, but I have found a few other young moms and spend my time with them now when i need estrogen :)

Sky - posted on 10/04/2009

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I was pregnant at 20 and gave birth at 21. I didn't get to drink on my 21st b-day! lol I do feel like I am missing out sometimes... but I wouldn't change having my son.

Pia - posted on 10/04/2009

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I had my son at 20 and he has improved my life so much. It wasn't bad before, but I kept putting off school. As soon as I found out I was having him I enrolled in university and am going to be a teacher! It's hard when a lot of your friends don't have babies, but my fiance and I have a good support network around us. When we don't get to go out to all the parties we just do something with our son, and it's always much better then going out!

Jo - posted on 10/03/2009

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I agree with Jaimie, I was a mum at 20 and all my friends were (and still are) partying, travelling, working, dating, studying etc.



I do have days when I feel down and feel like I'm missing out, then I just look at my daughter. Most people define success as having partner and kids. Look at the career women who have their children late 30s early 40s they don't feel fulfilled until they have children of their own.



Plus if we want to travel we can do it in our 40s when we'll hopefully have more money and wont have to backpack!



In all honesty nothing can replace the feeling you have when your little one wraps their arms around you. Just remember YOU are their world

Jaimie - posted on 10/03/2009

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No problem.. it's fun having kids. my life was a mess before him. now being a mom is all i know how to do lol, and i love it

Brittany - posted on 10/03/2009

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thats great that your son help change your life, my son has made everyday more enjoyable, but thanks for the encouraging words

Jaimie - posted on 10/03/2009

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i was a mom at 20, and if it wasn't for my son I probably would have ended up in prison or dead.. He cahnged my life for the better, but yes at times I did feel like i was missing out on stuff. my firend who did'nt have kids could just go out and do anyhting and I had to plan things, find a baby sittter and be home by certain time. You'll get over it trust me it grows on you and you get use to it.

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