Being the youngest mom at mommy group

[deleted account] ( 42 moms have responded )

Any other mommy's know this "issue"? I recently joined a mommy and me playgroup with my 8 month old. So far we enjoy it, only thing is that the rest of the mommies are around 10+ years older! Even though everyone's real nice, it's just a little awkard, you know? I didn't really think 20 was that young to have a baby! It's not really that big of a deal, just it's nice when women closer to your age are going through the same things!!

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Joy - posted on 02/26/2010

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I was and am in the same boat. I had my daughters before I turned 20. They are 11 and 9 now and when it comes to "play dates" and friends at school you can really feel the awkwardness of it. I don't know if you're married but for me I think not being married was and is a major reason for why some of the mothers are sometimes out-right rude. You will get used to it and for the most part being around older moms is really great. You really grow as an individual and sooner or later you wil tend to feel more comfortable around the older moms rather than your peers based on your life-style anyway. If you're treated with disrespect just kill them with kindness and they will come around...if they don't-never lose any sleep over it. :)

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Sarah - posted on 09/06/2012

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I live on a military base and they have a stork group for younger babies, my little girl is 3.5 months. But all the other moms are quite a bit older than me. I've only gone a couple times but when I go there they pretty much ignore me, it makes me feel really awkward. I wish the town we lived outside of had a playgroup as well but so far I haven't been able to find one.

Leah - posted on 09/06/2012

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Hi everyone I am a 27 year old mom of two little girls they are 3 and 2 (20 months apart). Me and their dad live together have a very happy relationship and are loving caring parents yet we are not married, This year my daughter is going to a private Montessori preschool that me and my boyfriend have worked very hard to pay for, I got the first news letter and saw all the parents they are all 35-50 with kids my kids age. Tonight is the first parents meeting and I have sighned up to volunteer all year I am just feeling very nervous b/c I have done other groups before and I have felt very left out because of my age. I honestly didn't think 23 was to young to have a child and both of kids were planned. Help I am just so nervous!!

[deleted account]

I do the same, just watch the kids play and hang out with my son. And listen to the other mom's talk about married life and careers, haha

Jessica - posted on 03/02/2010

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im in the same situation. all the ladies at my playgroup are "happily married" and very well off. its very awkward for me. they nice enough to me, but no one talks to me really or anything. i mostly just watch my daughter play.

[deleted account]

Maybe not threatened, but I feel judged for sure. Because I live in an area that's closer to tradition than it is to being open minded, and you just never know what people are thinking. I usually don't care what most people think, but when you're 21 and not married, in a group of 30+ year olds that are all married and either have college degrees or careers it's a little intimidating I guess!

[deleted account]

i was a younger with my first 8 years ago at 21 and remember feeling that way. Now I am almost 30 with my second and there are younger moms at the baby group and we like them just the same and don't treat them any different. maybe as younger moms we feels threatened?

Audriana - posted on 03/01/2010

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I became a. Mommy at 18and then again at19... so I'm used to being the youngest mommy in the room but honestly as long as ur a good mommy it doesn't matter your age even tho the looks I get when I tell ppl I have two daughters and one on the way are kinda astranged... but my girls ar my life=)

Nichole - posted on 03/01/2010

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I am almost 25 I have 2 kids and 1 on the way. My oldest is in preschool I am the youngest mom in my son's class so I understand. Keep your head up and keep trying everything will work out the way it should even if it's not the way you think it should.

Amanda - posted on 03/01/2010

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Hi there. I'm not really a younger mom like most of you who posted (27) but I don't know if I'm an odd duck or not but I have no problems with younger mom's. Age and Marital status shouldn't matter. All children are a gift from God, no matter what else is going on and it shouldn't matter. Some younger mom's need the support from more experienced mom's and age is a state of mind. I've met "older" mom's who act like they're the same age as their children. All the best and like one lady said, kill 'em with kindness and don't worry about what close minded people think!

Hayli - posted on 03/01/2010

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I am 20 and my daughter is 3. She has just started nursery school and I am the youngest mum there every morning. Don't let your age bother you, age is a state of mind. :)

Carina - posted on 03/01/2010

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i glad to hear that a lot of you out there are making the effort and getting into play groups. i would love to do that but unfortunately i am a stay at home mother or 2 another on the way and i don't drive and we live out in the middle of no where. i can't wait to move a little closer to town so i can have the opportunity to be around other moms. i just hoping when i am able to find a group that i can fit in i am still on the younger side i guess i am turning 24 this month. but right now the only thing i have on my mind is my oldest daughter starts school in a year and a half.

Kristina - posted on 03/01/2010

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hi,
I usually feel exactly like that. I was 20 when we had our daughter as well. (she's two now) But I still feel like that almost everywhere we go. It's also hard to be with people my own age because they're just not at the same stage of life that I am. It's almost like being stuck in a generational gap.. Things I'm going through are not the same in either category of people..

Angela - posted on 03/01/2010

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i had the same problem before i moved. luckly everyone was really nice but it felt so wierd being the youngest as all the cultural references were of a different generation. since i moved in with my boyfriend several 100 miles away from home i am in the middle which makes a nice change. mind you i now seem to get on better with those mums older than me than those the same age. odd. it will get easier.

Katt - posted on 03/01/2010

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I also find their parenting is a lot different than mine! I'm a lot more laid back but they're all very strict!!

Brittany - posted on 03/01/2010

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i know how you feel. i would of loved women my age in my water arobics class for when i was preg. i felt so out of place and didnt have much in common with the other moms. but i contiued going and just enjoyed myself. so you should do the same.

Katt - posted on 03/01/2010

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I sooo have that problem!! I've been going since my daughter was 4 months old and she's now 13 months. Now that we've all been going for so long everyone has become friends. I have made 1 or 2 good friends and we hang out outside of the group but now that they're back to work when I go I feel very left out. They barley talk to me. They pay attention to my daughter and I mainly go for her so she can have some interaction. So I just stick it out!! I'm the youngest at 20, then there is one girl thats 21 but the rest are like 27+ HUGE age gap!! Luckily they don't judge me because i'm young. I even started going when I was 19 so I felt really out of place lol

Sarah - posted on 03/01/2010

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I've definitely had this problem! And I was 22 when I had my daughter (27 now) so not exactly young myself. I've been extra frustrated because it seems everywhere we go are 40-something married women who are not looking for any friends for themselves or their kids.

[deleted account]

haven't even thought about what it's going to be like when he goes to school yet. I would hope there'd be a bigger mix, maybe it depends on where you live. I'm sure smaller grade schools wouldn't have much if a mix.

Mary - posted on 03/01/2010

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Me 2, i am the youngest in my son's class! He's in first grade, and i volunteered 4 the vday party, they all were like 50, i felt so out of place

Kaci - posted on 02/27/2010

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i don't think that it is a young age. i was 20 when i had my first child and i was 23 when i had my second child. but i just think it depends on the person. us being 20 was not young for us because we were ready but there may be other 20 year olds that had a baby and weren't quite ready for one mentally.

Vanessa - posted on 02/27/2010

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Hi there i was 19 when i had my son soon to be 20. My son was born in sept. and i turned 20 in november, I am now 23 soon to b 24. Alot of my friends are my age and we have had children all around the same time but it's not really an issue for me cause there are alot of young mom's where i live but i do see that alot of other places frown upon young mothers!!!

Desiree - posted on 02/27/2010

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I know exactaly how you feel. I am 26 and have twins in grade 1. when ever I go to a school function I feel sooooo out of place! Nobody ever says anything but I always feel like I should be guilty for being so much younger then everyone else.

[deleted account]

Well all you mommies are doing great trying to get involved!

That's what I would love to is a young mommy and baby group. Because we need more in common besides kids to have friendships you know? :)

Amy - posted on 02/27/2010

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Yeah i get that too, im 24 (altho i look very young)! and have a 1year old son when i go baby group none of them really talk to me, its as if im an alien or something...i just put it down to the group i go to..it put me off and ive not really been since.
Id like a young (ish) moms group around by me, i ave no friends with children the same age as me, it would be nice to ave a few people to meet up let the kids play and parents ave a coffee together...i get sooo bored being home alone in the day :-(

[deleted account]

it's ok lol i was in a similar situation just opposite. when i was in the hospital i was the oldest one having a baby at 21!. everyone else was 12-19 so it was very wierd. i felt so old. in my family even tho they where we live everyone has kids way too young like in their teens so i am an older one. it's nice tho to have my husbands cousin who is a little older than me have a baby our daughters age just a month or 2 older. so i don't feel so odd lol

Stevie - posted on 02/27/2010

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I just started my prenatal classes and I was the youngest one there by about 10 years (I'm 21). I know a lot of my friends who are my age and are pregnant or recently had kids didn't bother going to prenatal classes. I think its more just that a lot of younger mothers aren't interested in group activity not that they're not out there. I wish more young mothers WOULD join though, I think they shy away because they don't want to be with a bunch of older women but why should we have to stay at home with our kids just because we are young and or not married? I plan on going to some mommy and me groups I can get along fine with older women and I think more young moms should get out there it would help stuck up moms realize that us young moms are great too!

Melody - posted on 02/27/2010

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We are not in a play group, but my group of friends at my son's school, most of them went to school and was friends with my older sister. Granted she is only 7 yrs older than me, but it was still pretty weird at first!

[deleted account]

ya i always feel weird in some moms groups. The problem is me and my old friends have less and less to talk about and alot of moms in moms groups are so much older we have nothing in common either. I started a young moms group for moms 20-30 but im not getting any members, I thought I was the only 1

Stacey - posted on 02/27/2010

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Hi im a mom to 3 mi youngest is 11 months and i fell soo young at playgroups i go to im only 22 had my eldist when i was 17 and middle child when i was 19

Danni - posted on 02/26/2010

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yeah i was 19 when i had my son, and joined a mums group through child and youth services,funnily i was the youngest and my son was the oldest:) they were all older then me ranging from 10-20 years but i guess i was lucky i was accepted really well despite being in a different situation to all of them, however at times i did feel very left out of the loop, it seemed that the group were catching up when i didnt know about it, but it was more the case that a few of them had become very quickly!! i was also lucky that they were so supportive when i went through a few hard moments in my life!!however at times yes i can find it awkward, i can feel very left out of the loop!!and i suppose as a young mum wih my son now at kindy, i find it harder with the other kindy mums because they dont know me and they dont really seem to want to give me a chance as they are all older, i have found this very difficult and know that it will only get worse when my son attends school. i can only pray that they get past the fact im young as i am not immature and allow their children to play with my son, and have playdates after school etc..i guess i will just have to wait and see

Sunny - posted on 02/26/2010

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I know what your talking about i join a playgroup when my son was a baby i was 18 or 19 cant remember... and the women were so nice to me (they all thought i was 25) and after than at the end of last year i said i was sooo so soo looking forward to my birthday and one of the mums (45yrs old) asked me how old i was turning and when i said 21 they almost had a heartattack lol they ended up throwing me a surprise 21st party :) It took me 4 times to find a group where i fitted in and im shocked that it was with women some of which are older than my mum! (They dont like hearing about that though lol!)

Dawn - posted on 02/26/2010

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Hi, I was a young mum myself. I am now 24 but had my son just after my 19th birthday. I also found that all three of the babyand toddler groups i went to were full of older mum's than myself. In many areas within the UK the local NHS and social care services run specific mother and todller groups for mums under the age of 25. It may be worth gogglin' it to see where your nearest one is. I wish you the best of luck x

Toni-marie - posted on 02/26/2010

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hi there huni, i started very young and even now im 21 and have a 6 1/2 yr old daughter and a 13month old baby girl, i thought 6yrs l8a people would be more open and friendly but if anything they are worse unfortunatly, good luck tho, im looking for a nice group to join myself in basildon area xx

Ileana - posted on 02/26/2010

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haha, well im only 20 21 in sept but i have three kids so there, someone that isnt that much older. hope to talk to ya

[deleted account]

Yeah, I'm not married and I think that is a little weird for everyone, though it shouldn't be. Everyone there is married and all their husband's have couples nights and stuff, and I am with my boyfriend, but he works 2nd shift and we're just on different schedules then everyone. It's nice, I was just hoping for more friends out of it I guess. There's just that awkward barrier of age and marriage.



Thanks for the input!

Cynthia - posted on 02/26/2010

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I totaly get where you are coming from. . . My oldest is in 1st grade and last year when he started Kindergarten I joined the PTA I want to have a voice in my childrens education, ya know. Well all last year and some this year I get alot of comments on my age and all the other parents are like 10 years older. . . Don't you think they should respect us for being involved even thou we are so young??

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