best way to leave her with a babysittter?

Katrina - posted on 07/13/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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our little girl is just over a year and the longest i've ever been away from her is two hours. so i was just wondering whats a good way to leave so she doesn't freakout and i don't have to worry to bad.

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Katrina - posted on 07/13/2009

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thanks and we are leaving her with a friend of our family but she's never been away from me. thanks again for all the help

Tana - posted on 07/13/2009

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I always have my sitter come over about half an hour before we leave. This way we can discuss what's been going on with him (teething problems, eating habits, potty training) and our son can just hang out with her until we leave. Granted, we've had the same person watch him since he was 3 months old and he's almost 3 years old, now, so that really helps. I also try to get him all pumped her for her arrival and let him know that his favorite person is coming over for a playdate (the sitter) and that they're gonna have lots of fun. We do lots of hugs and kisses, then she walks him to the window so he can wave good-bye and do kisses on the window to us as we leave. We also tell him we'll be back soon, and we are.
Before he was that comfortable, we did the sneaking out approach. Sometimes he'd notice, other times it was as if we had never left!
Best of luck!

Kimberly - posted on 07/13/2009

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I agree with the sneak-out approach. When my son sees me grab my coat or purse he gets really anxious and has since he was 6 months old. I give him cuddles a few minutes before I need to go, then have dad or the sitter distract him with his favorite things while I leave and he doesn't even notice.

Good Luck! Kim, from justamomha.com

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It's tempting to "sneak out" when they are not looking but this can make things even worse when they figure out that you're gone. Let her get comfortable with the new person get them involved in an activity and then give a big hug and kiss and say we'll be back soon. If you're relaxed and calm about it then she will be too.

Melissa - posted on 07/13/2009

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Quoting Jessica:

I know this is blunt and may seem insensative....but you just have to leave her! It will be rough at first but after a few times it's no big deal for either of you. The key is for you to not freak or make a big deal about it. Put her down or hand her over, give her a kiss & a hug and tell her you love her and you'll be back soon as your walking out the door! Make it quick and act like it's no big deal....even though you're heart is breaking! Then to set your mind at ease call the daycare or whoever is watching her in about 20 minutes and I'd bet you money she had stopped crying 5 minutes after u left and is playing happily! It's okay to let your kid freak out....it teaches them coping skills which is necessary for good self confidence!


excatly 

Jessica - posted on 07/13/2009

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I know this is blunt and may seem insensative....but you just have to leave her! It will be rough at first but after a few times it's no big deal for either of you. The key is for you to not freak or make a big deal about it. Put her down or hand her over, give her a kiss & a hug and tell her you love her and you'll be back soon as your walking out the door! Make it quick and act like it's no big deal....even though you're heart is breaking! Then to set your mind at ease call the daycare or whoever is watching her in about 20 minutes and I'd bet you money she had stopped crying 5 minutes after u left and is playing happily! It's okay to let your kid freak out....it teaches them coping skills which is necessary for good self confidence!

Shana - posted on 07/13/2009

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Have the babysitter (assuming it is not a family member) come over when you are NOT going out. Have her play with your daughter for an hour or so. This lets your daughter get used to her with the security of you being around, and as a bonus, you get to see how she treats your daughter. When you have her come and you are really going to leave, make sure she is over 15 minutes before you want to leave. She will engage your daughter in an activity (preferably in her room or play room, anywhere away from where you are going to be seen leaving). You can say good-bye and leave while she is busy doing something else, she won't notice that you have left. You can also tell your daughter that you are leaving and will be back. If she has to go to sleep without you, tell her you will come in and give her a kiss when you get back just so that she knows you are back. If the baby-sitter has to give her dinner, make sure that it is ready and something that your daughter likes so that the baby-sitter doesn't have to guess what to give her, and there are no fights. Make sure that the baby-sitter knows the rules so that if your daughter violates one, she can receive the appropriate punishment and not think that the rules are different when Mom and Dad are not around. Leave all important phone numbers easily accessible so that if there is an emergency the babysitter won't have a problem. Let a neighbor know that you are going out and leaving their number as an emergency number in case you can't be reached on your cell phone.

Enjoy your time out.

Natasha - posted on 07/13/2009

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I think the key is don't make it a big deal. If you get flustered and anxious so will she.

My son will scream at the door when I leave, if he sees me leave that is.

Try this, get the babysitter to distract her play with her favorite toys etc. and then literally "sneak out".

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