bitting problem

Dawn - posted on 10/09/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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I have 2 year old twins and one of them has a biting problem She only seems to bite her twin sister but she is biting her until she bleeds now What am I suppose to do?

11 Comments

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Angela - posted on 10/13/2009

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As a state licensed daycare provider and mother of two I can tell you that biting a child to stop them from biting is counterproductive and wrong. In fact, other providers in CT have lost their license for just that. If you tell your child not to do something and they continue to do it anyway it shows who is really in control. And its not you.

And to quote Ivona "when I tell him that something he can not get it or that something is wrong he just start yelling and yelling,then I don't speak with him until he calms down.I tried to explain him that biting isn't o.k but he just didn't want to listen to me cause he knows I allow him everything "

- Your son is 2 years old, he is not capable of reasoning at that level. If you nip the behavior in the bud immediately, not after withholding love from him, you'll find yourself much better equipped to deal with the problem whether it be biting or anything else. If you feel that your child is taking advantage of you then put an end to it. This is a 2 year old we're talking about - what's going to happen when they're a teenager?

Sarah - posted on 10/11/2009

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I agree with Dayna. They dont realize how bad a bite hurts until they feel one. This is the only thing that I have tried that works for biters.

[deleted account]

i agree my son bit me and my husband for no reason when he was about 15 mos old i think, we tried the tap in the mouth and saying no firmly, i finally bit him back as well.. guess what never bit again and didnt get a chance to bite another kid

Dayna - posted on 10/10/2009

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Quoting Amelia:

Biting back teaches a child that it is okay to bite. Tell her firmly, "No biting," and remove her from the situation immediately. If she bites because she wants a toy, make sure she doesn't get it. She just needs to figure out that biting doesn't solve her end goal.



actually, biting back teaches them that its NOT okay to bite. You have to remember that they are small and have probably never felt a bite themselves so they don't know that it hurts the other person. When my daughter was biting she didn't have an end goal beyond making her brothers cry...she thought it was fun. I had to show her that biting may have been fun for her, but wasn't fun for the boys. Once she felt that a bite hurt, then that little lightbulb in her head turned on and she understood why she was getting in trouble and why she shouldn't bite. And it worked.

Dayna - posted on 10/10/2009

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I had the same problem with my daughter. She started biting her younger twin brothers and no matter what I did she kept on doing it. I tried time-outs, firmly telling her no, I even tried a spanking, but she just kept on biting them. Finally when she drew blood I knew I had to stop her...so I followed my mom's advice (and the advice of other older mothers that I trust) and I bit her back. Hard enough so that she felt that biting hurts, but not hard enough to cause any damage. That was all it took. She hasn't bit in 4 months now, and I don't think she was taught that violence is good, but learned that causing harm is bad.

Ivona - posted on 10/10/2009

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I understand what you want to say and I agree in some cases with you,but there are sometimes a situation in which you can react firmly but it doesn't help at all.I let my son do whatever he wanted to,I made a mistake and now he is almost 2 years old and when I tell him that something he can not get it or that something is wrong he just start yelling and yelling,then I don't speak with him until he calms down.I tried to explain him that biting isn't o.k but he just didn't want to listen to me cause he knows I allow him everything and when I show him that he can not do everything he want ( in this case biting him ) he stopped doing that ,cause he saw that it hurts other people .In this case he didn't approve violence cause he would bite again and that was the goal

Amelia - posted on 10/09/2009

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I just have a big problem with teaching that violence (in whatever form, no matter how minor) is not okay by using violence. Doesn't this seem backwards to anyone else?

Ivona - posted on 10/09/2009

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I agree with Laura,my son also used to bite and when he last time has bitten my sister I told her to bite him,so she did,off course,not so hard,but he saw that it hurts and that isn't nice to do to other people,and than I asked him Is it nice,is it ok to do that,you see that it hurts and it is bed thing to do.Never again he has bitten anybody....

Amelia - posted on 10/09/2009

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Biting back teaches a child that it is okay to bite. Tell her firmly, "No biting," and remove her from the situation immediately. If she bites because she wants a toy, make sure she doesn't get it. She just needs to figure out that biting doesn't solve her end goal.

Laura - posted on 10/09/2009

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I know what I am about to say sounds harsh but it work on me when I was a bitter and it has worked on my kiddos. When you catch her bite her sister bite her back and show her that it hurts. It may take a few times but it does work. It only took 3 times with my oldest once with my next two and my youngest hasn't bite anyone yet.

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