Boyfriend lives in Australia and I'm in Germany?

Lilly - posted on 10/19/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




hmm, I'm not sure if my problem is big or not, but to me it's a bit overwhelming. I was in Australia for about 2,5 years and have for about a year now. Now I've gone back to Germany a month ago because of the pregnancy. He's excited to be a father and loves me inside out. But we both are students, and I won't come back to Australia for long except for little holidays, which means I will raise my son (due date mid feb) mainly in Germany, and he's just able to come to Germany twice a year for about 1-3 months each. But we want to remain together, one is our priority for our son to have both of his parents and for ourselves as a couple. So the next time I will see my boyfriend will be in two months and he stays for Arean's birth and has to fly back to Australia a week later. I know it will be hard on such a distance to hold on, but I guess I can trust him on that.

My biggest fear is, will our son recognise and accept him as his father, since he will be absent most of the year? (At least for 3 years) how can I make it work? I mean, more than 3 times a year we won't be able to see each other and babies grow fast and I don't know how to make sure that they are bonding over distance.

I have no experiences with babies, it's my first pregnancy and I already feel left alone now, managing my life, studies and work to take care of my son...I'm afraid, that he ends up hating me for being so far away from his dad. And he'll need a male role model at times...

What is to do? How do kids bond? And well if we are unlucky my boyfriend won't be able to come for good to Germany for about 5 years...

I know having a relationship over that distance is difficult to believe in, but we really want to make this work for our son. He innocent and deserves to have both parents (my boyfriend a divorce-child and I grew up mainly alone from age 7, we don't want any of this for our little one)

I'd be grateful if anyone has experiences with difficult father-son-bondings, being a single mom and long distance relationships.


Michelle - posted on 10/19/2012




I don't have any experience myself but you could always chat on skype so you get to see each other rather than just talking on the phone.

If you talk about your boyfriend to your son and make sure you have photo's then there's no reason he won't accept him as his Father. Make sure that when you are all together take lots of photo's.

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