boyfriends..

Megan - posted on 07/07/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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i'm only 5 weeks and 2 days pregnant. i found out early!! my boyfriend has been wanting this since jan, and now that its happened i dont feel like he's as excited about this as he made it seem. we've had more complications since jan, and i'm afraid things are headed down a downward spiral =/ a lot of times i feel like im throwing myself at him, or i feel like i have to do so much extra to get the appreciation from him, or the attention from him that i want/deserve. i need advice!! i need help. i'm afraid our relationship will end... and i was hoping the baby would bring us together. but i dont know how well thats working.

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User - posted on 07/17/2009

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Hey sweet pea. Guy's are strange. I'm not sure what goes through their head when they find out they're going to be a dad, but I know that Ry and Hayden's dad didn't want them at first. Adoption was thought about both times, and Hayden was in foster care waiting to be placed. But now he couldn't love them more. I would just talk to him, or at least try (sometimes thats a lot easier said than done) Let me know if you need anyone to ever talk to. A lot of people really don't know what to do in a situation like this if they haven't been through it. Love ya darling!!!!

Amber - posted on 07/10/2009

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My boyfriend did not seem excited at all when I was pregnant with my son, five years ago. I was fascinated with my growing belling and movement and everything and he could care less. Then came the day he was born, he was a changed man forever. He adored my little boy so much you could see it in his eyes and on his face he was elated. Give your boyfriend some time to adjust, everything just might change when the baby is born. Don't put too much pressure on him, just try to be there for each other as you were before you became pregnant, see if he comes around!

Terri - posted on 07/09/2009

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Figure out what you want now, if he doesn't wanna be there, then the hell with him. My cituation is reverse, my hubby was there 100% during the pregnancy, but now he wants nothing to do with the baby. I don't have the guts to leave mine, but I can tell you our relationship went to hell since the baby was born.

Crystal - posted on 07/09/2009

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One thing I learned after having my daughter, is that babies make us work harder for our relationships with our other half. When that baby arrives a lot of the attention that used to be spent on a romantic relationship is turned towards the raising and care of an infant. They not only need it, the demand it. Communicate with your boyfriend now, because if things don't come together now, it's only going to get worse after the baby arrives. My fiance and me were the same way. I thought he would be wonderful with all the baby things, because of the things he said before I was pregnant. It has all been a battle and there are times when I believe we aren't going to make it and I'm going to raise this little one on my own. I don't really have an answer. I just hope that two people who really love each other can make it work, even when the situations we could never anticapate present themselves. Fight for it if it's worth fighting for, make other arrangements if it's not.

Jamie - posted on 07/09/2009

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You should never have a baby to save a relationship. Matter of fact its the last thing you should do to save a relationship. I suggest maybe some couples counseling.

Amber - posted on 07/09/2009

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I know that my boyfriend never really got excited during the pregnancy like I wanted him to. He never really showed me he was as happy about it as I was. He wasn't interested when I told him things about it. He got happy and excited was our son was here though. I think he was scared and nervous. Some men want that but when it happens they get scared. My boyfriend is a good dad he does everything for us, but during the pregnancy I sometimes wondered. He says now that when we have another he will feel differently I just think he was so afraid that he wouldn't know what to do and wouldn't be able to care for the child. I also agree with Nicole you need to have a solid relationship when this baby gets here, because that put strain on us as well. I seriously require sleep and not having any made me mean. I couldn't stand him in the begining between no sleep and hormones I was just not nice to him at all. It took a lot to get through those first few months and all the changes that go on. Don't stress though that baby is going to be the best thing to ever happen to you.

Courtney - posted on 07/09/2009

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Meagan, I think that you are going to do GREAT! You know that if you ever need anything, Im here in any way that I can. I know what its like to have a guy tell you that he wants a family with you and then when it actually happens, he runs away scared. Atleast Shayn is still around and hasnt left. Hes got my respect there. Just talk to him and tell him how you feel. Just let him know that this is all going to be alot harder on you then him and he just needs to understand that this is life altering for you too and that he has to be in it for the long hall. You are a very strong woman and you will do great. You dont NEED a guy to raise a baby and he needs to know that. So if he really loves you then he will make it work. Just remember, you have plenty for friends and especially plenty of friends that are young moms too. We are all here to help. If you ever need anything, let me know Meagan, Im always here.



P.S. We need to do lunch/dinner sometime :-)



Love youuuuu

Nicole - posted on 07/08/2009

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I wouldnt even waste on my time with someone that wasnt treating me good. Having a baby can be very straining on your relationship once the little bundle of joy is here. Your sleep deprived, stressed and your hormones are still crazy for a bit. That is why i never understood why ppl thought that having a baby would fix their problems or make their relationship better because it can make it worse. You truely need to work as a team, and if he is already acting like this when you are not very far along i hate to see what he'll be like when the baby is actually here. I personally know that having kids has put a strain on my relationship with my husband and we have been married 3 yrs ad together for 10. Its takes alot of work and making time for each other. Good luck to the both of you and i hope things work out for the best.

Rebecca - posted on 07/08/2009

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Hello i had the same problem and i just egnored it but please dont, it turned out my partner was having an affiar it went on for 1 half yrs, i found out when my son was 6 months old, please talk to him and tell him how you feel. If you can kick it in the arse now then do it. Grab the bull by the horns. Dont let him make you feel like crap, no man is worth tears unless he is you dad or grandad. Take care and keep you chin up as you have a beautiful baby growing inside you x

Rebecca - posted on 07/08/2009

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Hello i had the same problem and i just egnored it but please dont, it turned out my partner was having an affiar it went on for 1 half yrs, i found out when my son was 6 months old, please talk to him and tell him how you feel. If you can kick it in the arse now then do it. Grab the bull by the horns. Dont let him make you feel like crap, no man is worth tears unless he is you dad or grandad. Take care and keep you chin up as you have a beautiful baby growing inside you x

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