Bringing men around my children

Heather - posted on 09/14/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




I have been divorced now for about 6 yrs and the ex has and is still trying to dictate who can and can't be around our children. First boyfriend did not see the children the whole 2 and half yrs I was with him. Now that I have another and been with him for about three months I would like to bring the kids around him but fear that I will have a huge argument on my hands. I grow tired of the arguments the ex and i have over the issue, I grow tired of the ex trying to control, I am tired of crying... This is my life, and I want to live it without this kind of hassle.
I can't get the ex to tell me why he feels the way he does, why he feels the need to control, why is it so wrong to bring someone I really care about and love around our children. I have no plans to bring just any man around the children, but only the one I know i am going somewhere with.

So i did the unthinkable and went against the ex's wishes and brought the new fella in to meet the kids briefly.

Besides not telling the ex about it..what i did... was it wrong?


Jodi - posted on 09/14/2013




Unless it is in your court orders about custody, then your ex has no right to dictate who your children may or may not be around. End of story. While I can understand if your ex was just being cautious about who the children got attached to, being with someone for 2 1/2 years is not a simple fling, and a relationship like that clearly can't last if you have to keep the two parts of your life separate. 3 months may be a little soon, but only you can make that judgement - I certainly would keep it brief and purely as a friendship around the kids at this point. However, it is extremely unreasonable of your ex to expect you will never introduce another man to your children.

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