Bringing men around my children

Heather - posted on 09/14/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I have been divorced now for about 6 yrs and the ex has and is still trying to dictate who can and can't be around our children. First boyfriend did not see the children the whole 2 and half yrs I was with him. Now that I have another and been with him for about three months I would like to bring the kids around him but fear that I will have a huge argument on my hands. I grow tired of the arguments the ex and i have over the issue, I grow tired of the ex trying to control, I am tired of crying... This is my life, and I want to live it without this kind of hassle.
I can't get the ex to tell me why he feels the way he does, why he feels the need to control, why is it so wrong to bring someone I really care about and love around our children. I have no plans to bring just any man around the children, but only the one I know i am going somewhere with.

So i did the unthinkable and went against the ex's wishes and brought the new fella in to meet the kids briefly.

Besides not telling the ex about it..what i did... was it wrong?

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Jodi - posted on 09/14/2013

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Unless it is in your court orders about custody, then your ex has no right to dictate who your children may or may not be around. End of story. While I can understand if your ex was just being cautious about who the children got attached to, being with someone for 2 1/2 years is not a simple fling, and a relationship like that clearly can't last if you have to keep the two parts of your life separate. 3 months may be a little soon, but only you can make that judgement - I certainly would keep it brief and purely as a friendship around the kids at this point. However, it is extremely unreasonable of your ex to expect you will never introduce another man to your children.

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