can anyone help im 23 weeks pregnant and i dont think my husband wants this baby.i have 2 other children and he was more exsited when i was pregnant with them than he is with this one

Lisa - posted on 04/19/2009 ( 24 moms have responded )

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hi please can you help my husband hardly seems interested i our 3rd pregnancy in 23 week he has touched my tummy twice i do think that if i lost this baby we wouldnt care.

but i found out the other day that my mother in law wouldnt mind being at my labour.so i told my husband that he can stay at home

with the children when i go into labour and his mum can.please help as its getting me down

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Laura - posted on 04/21/2009

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men are useless when they see us in pain cos they can't handle it they think we can't lol (just kidding i'm the worlds biggest wimp) plus if hes not got alot of work on.. I'd definitly get him 2 be there for the birth though, unless u would rather he stayed at home as it will always be in your head if he doesn't. Good luck! Just remind him there is pain relief if needed!

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Chrystina - posted on 04/22/2009

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I went through the same thing with all three of my pregnancies. My husband had wanted to wait till we were a little more settled in married life before we had a baby. He was never really involved nor did he ask very often on how I was feeling. But in the end he was the one to take me to the hospital after the labor started and now can not see himself without any of his kids. I think that your husbands feelings will change after he sees this little one too. You just have to get through this tough time of being pregnant "alone".

Lisa - posted on 04/22/2009

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hi i had a c ection with my son and a normal with my daughter and was in more pain with my son.

Shannon - posted on 04/21/2009

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Some men are just not as emotional about pregnancy as women are. My (now ex) husband had two children when we met so he had already been through two pregnancies, so when I became pregnant I was excited...he never seemed too excited. He had already experienced it all. You have to remember that he cannot feel the kicks and flips and carry the baby everywhere w/him like you do. So of course you are more emotionally attached to your unborn child. I am sure he will come around...especially when the baby is born and he can hold him/her...instead of just touching a bulging belly...Hang in there...I am sure it is just that he already knows what to expect since you guys already have been through two pregnancies :)

Amie - posted on 04/21/2009

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I agree with the other ladies. My hubby was the same way this last little while when we were expecting our 4th. We can provide for them but for his his anxiety was watching me go through labor again. He cried when I was in labor with our 3rd he felt so bad about what he "had done to me". LOL! Men are funny sometimes. Just talk to him, it'll probably help.

Brittany - posted on 04/21/2009

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I know how you feel. My son's father never wanted to feel the baby kick, I would have to hold his hand on my belly. When I would complain that he wasn't into it, he would say he was and that he was showing it. Maybe in his eyes he thought he was expressing excitement, but he wasn't in my opinion and that hurts, especially when you're pregnant and hormonal.

Sara - posted on 04/21/2009

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have a caesarian if its that much of an issue. both my birth's were...



Good luck with all! keep us updated :)

Lisa - posted on 04/21/2009

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thankyou for your reply he has said he is scared of me being in labour as there isnt much he can do 2 help me.but im sure things well change then it gets 2 the end and he knows its nearly over.

Sara - posted on 04/21/2009

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Maybe he is just a bit anxious..... ("another mouth to feed", my brother would say when his wife would mention wanting a third child)...



My bf wasnt very supportive with my second pregnancy but the moment Lacey was born he changed completly.... she means everything to him!!



x Sara

Melissa - posted on 04/21/2009

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first your husband has to be at the birth ...cause you will hate him ...always for that and its a big thing giving birth ....its not like going to the store!!!!
and if hes not happy well to bad for him girl cause your children will always be yours no matter what and he does not want to participate well ....to bad ...do it ur self and you can do it ...i have 3 kids and i an a very strong person if my husband doesnot want to do some thing i do it my self and its his loss no mine so ...girl be strong he'll come alone dont worry ...p.s ur husband probly dont not realize that its happening again!!!
but he come along...dont worry ...and you dont need stress right now...

User - posted on 04/21/2009

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My husband was the same way when I was pg with #2. I really felt he was going to love our first daughter more than our second. Befroe I got pg for the second time he would make comments that he did not want another one because he worried he couldn't love it as much. When I was pg with the second I started crying after one of his comments about our older daughter always being his fav and he was like you know I am just kidding, but I did not belive him. Once the second arrived he was happy and loves her so much.

I would not let him get away with not being there for the birth, I think he needs to be there just as he was for the first 2, accident or not he needs to have that fist min bond with her, he needs to be one of the first to see,hold her otherwise he may not be able to bond with her.

Danielle - posted on 04/21/2009

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My bf was similar...I didnt feel that he was excited and that got me down....But..he has never really been an emotional person.

I spoke to him about it after our daughter was born and he cried and said that all through my pregnancy he was scared for me because he didnt know how I was going to cope with labour ( considering I can't cope with period pain AT ALL!!!) and that was stressing him out heaps. He told me how proud of me he was....I had a 2 1/2 hour labour.....no pain relief.

I had my mum and his mum in th room as well as him. They were so happy that I let them be a part of my daughters birth.

Lisa - posted on 04/20/2009

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i think you are all proble rite he has been there twice before and its nothing different this time round.he just dosent like the labour bit seeing me in so much pain and cant do anything to help me.but i told him just being there you are helping me.as i couldnt of done it without him.plus the presher of not having much work with him being a builder and we have a baby on the way its not fare on him.xx

Amy - posted on 04/19/2009

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i think sometimes men dont get real excited until the baby is here! they dont have the same bond as we moms do because they dont carry the child! my boyfriend did not act near as excited with our second as he did the first until she was born and even then it seemed he took a few weeks to really bond with her!

Sarah - posted on 04/19/2009

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aww how cute, my lil girl is 4 months they grow up soo quickly they dnt stay newborn for long im broody for another, i'd love a little boy next. as long as you little girl is healthy, men!! when will they learn there sperm determindes the sex of the baby lol

Lisa - posted on 04/19/2009

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ive got a little boy of 2 will be 3 mexted month. and my daughter is 1 and will be 2 next month.this baby is due in augast plus we are having a girl and my husband wanted a boy.

Sarah - posted on 04/19/2009

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or if not write him a letter explaning how you feel, sometimes i find that better at expressing my feelings its better to be honest and open. whens buuba due? bet ur other 2 are excited.

Lisa - posted on 04/19/2009

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thankyou its hard and what to say and where to start.like my sister-in-law said she went threw the same thing he mite be ok when she is born.

Sarah - posted on 04/19/2009

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yea i agree with tara, maybe hes worrying about supporting you and the children and doesn't want to let you down. I think the best thing to do is have a open chat with your husband and explain how your feeling, don't stress yourself out worrying easier said then done, being pregnant and with 2 kiddies is tiring and stressful as it is. good luck im sure everything will be ok.

Lisa - posted on 04/19/2009

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he i great the the other 2 our marriage is fine its just upsetting me that he is being this way so at times im off with him.no this one wasnt planned the only one that was planned was our 2nd child. and he dosnt have much work at the mo with being a builder but that not my fault.

Sarah - posted on 04/19/2009

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hows ur relationship in general? is he hands on with the other 2? was pregnancy planned?x

Tara - posted on 04/19/2009

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I would let your mother in law be there for the birth. Your husband may be going through stress with either, finances, his job or the thought of just having another child. I hope all goes well with everything. If he doesn't straighten up soon, send him to his mother for an intervention...

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