can my husband take his baby and not get into trouble??

Jamie - posted on 07/30/2013 ( 9 moms have responded )

5

0

0

hi guys i am a mom of 6 beautiful kiddos i have had my wourld turned upside down i have married for 13 years and i just found out my signifigant other cheated with my best friend of 9 years and she just had a baby girl. she has decided because my husband wouldnt leave us for her that she would come up with some kind of excuses that he is not allowed to come to my home with me her..e this little girl doesnt even know her brother and sisters. he had asked me if it was against the laws in missouri for him to just go and bring her here. we live in missouri and he pays for all the exspenses the baby has. she has threatend him and has even said that she will make something up to DFS to cause issues if he even tries. what should we do like i said he pays for 100% of everything for her but he doesnt want to do child support to her due to her always going to get her hair and brows done and she likes to drink he says i'll pay for my baby but im not giving her anything so that she can go get her brows done. i understand totally but i also want for my children and myself to get to know this little girl shes already 7 monthe old and i have never met her and yes i decided for the best of my children to stay with my s.o. some may not agree but i felt my kiddos happiness comes before mine. she has his anme and is on the birth certificate.

9 Comments

View replies by

Jodi - posted on 07/31/2013

3,562

36

3907

I didn't say it was his responsibility to pay for 100% of the things, you've clearly misread my post. I actually specifically said 50% in case you missed that. She is paying 100% of the shelter, electricity, gas, and all the rest of it (or her husband is on her behalf). She IS contributing. If she decides to also get her eyebrows done, it's none of his business. Maybe her husband is paying for that.

And the simple fact is, the child is not a commodity and is not an item available for rent. You can't link child support to visitation. The courts don't, so neither can you. Child support is an obligation regardless of visitation. That's just the way it is. Attacking? No. Just telling it like it is.

If your husband doesn't LIKE the arrangement, then he needs to get a lawyer, as has been said by several people several times. He absolutely has EVERY right to visitation, I've never said he doesn't, but given there is very clear animosity here and no-one is in agreement, GET A COURT ORDER. That way it will be black and white, and she won't be ABLE to dictate anything to him without being in contempt.

Jamie - posted on 07/31/2013

5

0

0

No he just buys diapers,baby wipes,clothes, food, and any meds she needs. I know it's his responsibility but he doesn't have to pay 100% of everything.. And not be able to take the baby when he wants he couldn't even take her to the park without her throwing a big fit and not letting him see her for 3 days. I know he screwed up but I don't think that she is playing fair. I appreciate your opinion but it seems like you are attacking, would you pay 100% of things for a child and not get any rights as a parent? She needs to also contribute to this baby but all she wants to do is sit on her butt..

Jodi - posted on 07/31/2013

3,562

36

3907

And he is not paying to get her eyebrows done. You haven't mentioned how much he is paying BUT in addition to getting her eyebrows done, she is putting a roof over the child's head, feeding the child, providing electricity, gas, medical, and whatever other expense to raise the child, so it is really no business if she also chooses to get her eyebrows and nails done. He needs to provide the costs of 50% of these other things . It is NOT her husband's responsibility to provide for this child - it isn't his child.

Jodi - posted on 07/31/2013

3,562

36

3907

The trouble is, however, there seems NOT to be any court ordered visitation. So get a lawyer and get it court ordered. Then she will have no right to deny you anything.

Jamie - posted on 07/31/2013

5

0

0

Thing is we are not a danger she just likes to control the when and where of everything. It's her and her husband who have the volatile relationship he even abuses her in front of her other kids.

Jamie - posted on 07/31/2013

5

0

0

Yes I agree about child support if its for the child but he makes sure the baby has everything she needs 100% and this lady Is married with two other kids and her husband whi has no problem with his wife having someone elses kid.. she spends money like no tomorrow my husband would do anything for his kids but I think paying for her to get her eye brows done Is not his responsibility.

Jodi - posted on 07/31/2013

3,562

36

3907

In addition to what the other ladies have said (get a lawyer and get court ordered visitation), your husband has an obligation to pay child support. It is none of his business where it is spent as long as the child is appropriately cared for.

Firebird - posted on 07/30/2013

2,660

30

521

Get a custody/visitation schedule set up through the courts. Unless she can prove you or your husband are a danger to the baby, the courts won't likely side with her on the baby not entering your home.

Denikka - posted on 07/30/2013

2,160

5

749

At this point, because there's nothing legal and on paper, he can do what he wants, including bring baby home with him and with you there. Unfortunately, the mother can also do what she wants, and that includes not letting him see the baby any more.

Your best bet is to go through the courts. Get visitation on paper. Visitation is separate from support, but I'd talk to a lawyer about support as well. You may be able to submit things like receipts to prove what you're paying. I'm not sure on the legalities on that one.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms