Can't trust my Inlaws with my 11month old son

Katarina - posted on 03/16/2010 ( 40 moms have responded )

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My inlaws are driving me crazy when it comes to my son and how I want him to be raised. They are constantly telling me what I'm doing "wrong," that I'm not feeding him enough or often enough, I'm to uptight and nervous. They refuse to have overnights with him but get angry when he has overnights at my parent's.



The few times they have watched him, I've come to pick him up and his diaper is so full it's leaking out the sides, dvd's are all over the floor, he's eating the plants and they are sitting on the couch or on the computer. They keep bringing their cat around my Son(he's allergic). They say that he'll get over it the more he's ner her. He breaks out in a huge rash that lasts for hours. My sil is extremely rough with him. On a few occassions she's picked him up by his arms causing him to cry,bumped his head on the dinning room light, and pushed the exersaucer(with him in it) so hard that his head as banged back and forward . They refuse to baby proof even a little bit, and I find myself picking things up and putting them out of reach, sweeping the floor(it's always covered in dirt and dust bunnies) and putting things in front of cupboards. They don't think they need to do any of this because he will learn when he gets hurt.



On another note, Whenever my son cries my fil takes him from my arms instead of letting me soothe him. When we're out in public they play the doating grandparents and are holding him and cuddling him showing him off to everyone, my fil has even called him his son!!!!! It really upsets me that my fil takes my son from me when he's crying and isn't even nice about it. If I'm tending to my Son my fil is over my shoulders putting his hands out to pick him up. I've yelled at my fil a few times about it and he gives me this eveil laugh and keeps doing it anyways. My husband has talked to them and nothing has changed.



They seem to be "convience" grandparents only want him around when they're not busy. Even though when he is in their home they are too busy to play with him and actually visit. They will not visit our house(because they have "things to do at home" and are "tired"). My mil always makes us(my husband and I) feel that she really doesn't want us around. Always making excuses. Lately it's been that Supernatural is on(All week, I think not) and she want to dye her hair. So we say okay, maybe another day but then she gets angry.



Sorry to rant this long, but I wanted to give you a little glimpse into what's happening. There is plenty more as well.



What can I do? My husband realizes that it is a problem but doesn't really want to say anything and upset his parents but I'm at my witts end and am not happy when I'm over there. My Son never gest naps, is always stuffed up because they don't dust anything and is constantly being yelled at because he's touching things.

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Anna - posted on 03/16/2010

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I wouldn't take him over there. I have some in law issues too. My hubby is aware and has told his mom several times the issues we have and it hasnt seemed to fase her. So she isnt allowed to spend time at her house unless we are there. Iknow that she has different parenting "techniques" but what she fails to understand is that this is my daughter and if she wants to spend time with her, she plays by my rules. And until that happens, its supervised visits. Now to credit my mil, shes caring and I dont think she would ever ever purposely hurt my daughter, I just dont think shes very careful. Like your inlaws. You and your husband have your own family now and want that family a certain way. That is your right and they need to follow along, at least somewhat. If your husband sees this as an issue as well, he needs to make it more clear to them. If it hurts thier feelings, oh well. If your son is that important to them, they will shape up. But i do think that some leeway is needed on your part too. they need to know that these things upset you and your husband and that its not ok. And if time apart is the answer, so be it. Good luck and if you want to rant or vent, I can join you :) Just wirte me a little note :)

[deleted account]

I think that you should not bring him to their home anymore. If they want to see him they can come to your home where it's safe and visit him there. Your husband should also be the one to tell them this since they are his parents.

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Marie - posted on 08/24/2013

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I feel you.but try living in the same building. Ugh I can't stand my in-laws, because of them I'm talking divorce. I love my husband to death but I can't take them!!!

Julz - posted on 03/29/2010

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At the end of the day he is your son. You have an obligation to keep him safe, and to make sure he is always in a happy enviroment - DON'T LET THEM NEAR HIM.



Be assertive, if your father in law trys to take him of you, turn so his out of reach and say "thank you but we're right". Never let go of your son, if he still trys to grab him say really loud "ARE YOU RIGHT??!!"



Make them aware of who's boss. Your son is more important then hurting their feelings.

If things don't get better, stop taking him there. In fact based on what you've already said has occured - stop now.



Good luck and remember your son always comes first.

Marijana Shae - posted on 03/25/2010

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your man should stand by you and you should refuse to take your son over their if they want to see him they are to come to you...thats from my grandmother who is sitting beside me!! i have to agree there is no way known i would let my son go there!! im blowing a gaskit now just reading what is going on...honey i feel for you. you have to do whats best for you and your baby!! and if that means upsetting the inlaws and making them go out of their way then so be it you cant please everyone all the time!! your baby is precious and its up to you to protect him. id be telling them your not happy and just blurting it out tell them what your thinking..! im outspoken when it comes to things like this..! i get really frustrated at the three dogs that live at the inlaws place the house is covered in dog hair and i refuse to let him go near the dogs ...i dont let him leave my arms when he visits. i crack the shits when they want me too come visit coz they both smoke in the house its wrong all i can smell is dog and smoke..i dont want my son in that environment so i refuse to stay longer than a hello and coffee..!! im not an overbearing pander too my son mum he has a pony of his own for goodness sake hes 5 months old but i will not put up with the inlaws crap. hes my baby i carried him for 9 months i went through the 36+hour labour just to in the end be knocked out for an emergency c section and thats what gives me the right to say NO. best of luck honey.

Marie - posted on 03/25/2010

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I am not even married to my fiancee yet or have had my baby yet, first child(20wks this saturday) but i have already gotten into lil arguments with the soon-to-be fil. i find out what i am havin march 29 and he said that if it is a girl then he was gonna treat her like a boy and i got pissed off. i told him he was not gonna treat my lil girl like a boy and if he did then he would have to deal with my foot in his a$$. but me and my fiancee have already discussed our child not going over to his parents house because it has cat crap all over the floor and it wrecks to high hell or cat urine and crap. they have 12 cats and 2 of them are prego and 3 dogs...the house is small like an apartment. but you need to stand up for your lil boy who is obviously being abused in one way or another and tell them its your way or the highway...no ultimatums. I know I have to stand up for my un-born child already but that is what a mother does. Good luck and dont let them intimidate you and your desicions. You are a good mom.

Mandy - posted on 03/25/2010

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I think that since talking to them is not getting any action done then I suggest that you take action. Let them know untill they are able to keep a clean house you will not go over there anymore untill the house is clean and baby proofed, also let them know when you come over the cat will need to be put in a room that the baby cannot go into. There is no reason they should be putting your son in danger that way...it may just be a rash now but if he continues to be allergic it can get worse and the next thing you know you are at a hospital cause of it. As far as the grabbing your son when he is crying tell the FIL in a stern voice no you are handling it. Or walk away to a different room. It sucks that you have to go through this but its YOUR kid...YOU call the shots. not your M & FIL. I had a friend who had Grandparents similar to this. They told them if the house was not clean they will not be over to see there Grandson. I know most older people like to stay home and not go over to thier kids house so they shaped up and cleaned up cause they wanted her to come over with thier Grandson...It just sounds like they dont care to much about how you and thier son feels. Which is sad. I hope everything works out. Rememeber Take action and stick to it. Otherwise they are just going to continue to brush you off.

Amanda - posted on 03/25/2010

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Its really your husbands place to say something since they are his parents.
I have a problem with my MIL and reading all of your posts makes me feel better that I'm not the only one who has problems with their inlaws. My MIL thinks that my daughter is the "Little Girl She Never Had" because she had 3 boys and she treats her more like a daughter then her granddaughter and it makes me mad because she contradicts me in front of my daughter like If i'm trying to discipline her (Ex: We don't let her in the kitchen at home so she doesn't need to be in the kitchen at Grandma and Grandpas) and they let her go in there. Now at my parents she won't go in the kitchen unless shes in our arms going to her HighChair. We live in an apartment so our table is in the dining room hence the no kitchen rule but my MIL just lets her rule the roost at her house and its hard trying to get her any sense of stability because the rules should be consistent everywhere. She also does not follow her schedule but wonders why she gets cranky. Just tons of other things that are just UGH! I love her to death because shes the hubbys mom but this is my daughter not yours. If you want a little girl, go adopt one, don't use mine as your doll. *sighs* Now that I've gotten that off my chest :P

Rose - posted on 03/24/2010

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Sorry honey you need to be assertive sounds abusive to you and your child. You have your parents and your husband. Drop them if they decide to change give them a second chance until then tell them if they do not respect you and won't stop abusing your child (that is what they are doing your child is being abused!) then you no longer have a need for them!

Amanda - posted on 03/24/2010

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i know i already posted, but yesterday my in-laws were at this ranch where my grandpa(in-law) is working and we all went over to watch them bring in some deer to let out on the place and while my hubby and i were at the house with g--pa, sadie was with mom and dad in law. g--pa called them and told them to go to dollar store seven miles away on a highway to get some batteries for gate opener, and that we would wait at the gate where they were, well, they took off with my daughter with no carseat, my hubby called and told them we didnt want her to go anywhere w/o one, and his mom got pissed! what the hell do they have to be pissed about!? i knew this would happen eventually cuz they dont even buckle themselves! tehy have also taken my sisinlaw's kids w/o one all teh time! it prob not doing much good for my hubby to do the talking now, cuz we already had a fight about them expecting me to cancel my plans of going to a wedding for them to have a birthday dinner for four ppl, that i wasnt aware of until the night b4, during this fight my mil told my hubby he needs to quit taking up for me, so when he puts his foot down, to them its just me being a butt. ugh i am at my wit's end with these ppl!!!!!!

Amy - posted on 03/19/2010

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i feel the same way! my inlaws were just here visiting and they live 17 hrs away so i felt that they needed to spend time with my daughter... wrong! the first time my fil held her he was more worried about picking up his cup of alcohol which i though was soda because he mixed it while i was in the other room. well he spilled it all over her and then wouldnt give her to me so i could change her. my mil went to walmart with me and while she was holding my daughter i looked over and my daughters leg was blue and purple because she was cutting the circulation off! ugh i was fuming mad. my brother in law put a dog leash around the 1 yr old i baby sit and tried to pull him like that. i understand he is mentally slow but my mil laughted about it! i was so angry then the next day my sis in law got lost comming here so i went to meet her to show her how to get here and it was raining so my daughter stayed with her and my fil at my apartment. well when i came back her diaper was so full it was up her back and all over her chair and had food in her eye which is messed up anyway and she has to have special medicine in it. i was so angry. the last 2 days they were here my fils weiner dog bit my daughter while my husband was holding her so out of instinct i kicked the dog i know thats wrong but the darn thing bit my daughter and i wasnt just going to sit there and let her get hurt. my fil got so angry and wouldnt have anything to do with us... which was fine by me haha but his dog bit meand my daughter again and i kicked it again and this time he got mad and told me that if my daughter wasnt so f-ing slow and retarded she wouldnt have gotten bit. Umm excuse me she is 5 almost 6 months old and is perfectly healthy. we have not talked to them since the day we made them leave our house. maybe you should try that and they will realize what they are missing out on when they dont see your baby

Julie - posted on 03/19/2010

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just nicley tell them that you as much as you respect there input on the childrens life you would rather do things your way . As you are there mother and you want to do things your way and if you want there help you will ask !! Its your child and only you know whats the best for them !!

Anisa - posted on 03/19/2010

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im 23 years old and my mother STILL has the same issue. And she never listened to them or did what they said, i turned out right and my sister too. its theyre problem that they refused to spend the night with your babay im the first place. What my mom did was that she made a really nice family ocassion with her in-laws, and nicely after eating she told them, 'its really not necessary to tell me how to do the "mom" job, i was the one going thru the trouble in the hospital when my kid was born, that means i have it all under control'. goodluck, and i hope they are not like those types of parents that'll never change.

HELEN - posted on 03/19/2010

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I would let them know what you think. If they are letting your baby get into things that can harm them, dont let him go to their house. correct them when they are out in public about him being you son and not theirs. Let them know that you do not like what they say or do. you should not leave them with the baby if they arent taking care of him.

Rachel - posted on 03/19/2010

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i had slimiar problem with my in-laws, and we just said that if you don't stick to our routine then you wont get to look after you grandchild, since then the only problem we have is with the nappies they use. dont sit back and let them tell you what to do with your child, n if they dont like it then 2 fingers to them, just let them know its your way or the highway

Sarah - posted on 03/19/2010

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I agree you need to talk to them about it! Since its your husband's family he should be the one to do it, otherwise it will more than likely just cause more problems! That was one thing our pastor told us before we got married you deal with your side of the family if you are having problems otherwise they will feel like you are "attacking" them!
I am pregnant with my 1st child but have done daycare for years and I do not want some of my in-laws to be around my child! my FIL is a drunk and i don't want my child exposed to that, whenever we have to visit them its in a bar and I will NOT take my child into a bar to see their grandpa!
make rules with them for when your child is there and make sure you keep up with your end of the rules! my friend won't let her inlaws see their grandchild because she just doesn't like them and told them her child is too young to spend the night... but she let her child spend the night at her parents house since birth! be up front with things, i know when her inlaws find out about the difference in rules things will not go well! I know i will be going through the same thing you are going through when my child is born! good luck and hang in there! since you are the parents YOU get to decide how things are done not your inlaws!

Anna - posted on 03/19/2010

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You owe it to your son to keep him away from them. What you have described is clearly putting his health in danger, and you are his first line of defense. If they aren't willing to shape up, then they don't need to be involved. Period. No compromises.

Stephanie - posted on 03/19/2010

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I have NEVER left my child with anyone that does not follow MY rules with MY child. YOU are his MOTHER, not them. They need to understand, and you need to stay firm with the rules and make them understand that if they don't want to follow them you will not be leaving your son with them. I don't know how you have ever left him there in the first place if he is allergic to cats. It sounds to me that if you are in need of a sitter you should look into hiring one, at least they will listen to you. I was a babysitter growing up and I always followed the rules of the parents. No opinions. Times and changed and so have moms, we need to stand up. Think of your son, not them.

[deleted account]

OMG it must be an in-law thing, I feel you girl... I do not trust my in-laws with my girls as far as I could throw a house....My IL have never child proofed either, I just refuse to take them to their house I say it is easier for the girls to be in their own home... My MIL has been told on many occasions not to use baby talk to the girls but she does anyway, I am ready to pull my hair out too.. Sorry I could not be more help but maybe it is good to know that their are more of us out there, I know I feel better knowing I am not the only one going through the IL problems.. I'm sure we could share some hair raising stories about our IL.. TTYL. Have a great day

Gemma - posted on 03/19/2010

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I would give them an ultimatum, either they start playing by your rules or you will not take your son over to their house and if they come to your house they abide by your rules and let you and your husband be the parents, else they will be asked to leave your home. This will only start to get you further and further down if it is not corrected and unfortunatley if your husband has spoken with his parents it calls for slightly harsher tactics.

Catherine - posted on 03/19/2010

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i would just stop taking him and let them know if they want to see him you are more than happy for them to come to you but you don't want him in their house unless they can look after him the way you ask. at the end of the day he is your son and if they dont do what you ask then its their own fault if they dont see him. when my boy was a baby i used to hate the way my mother in law looked at me as if to say you're holding him wrong or feeding him wrong, once she said i was being to rough with him when i was winding him. he had extremely bad colic and would scream for hours and my doctor showed me just how hard i could actually pat his back, and it really worked, so on that occasion i stopped winding him and gave him to the mil and he cried fro hours. she eventually gave him back and apologized and has never said any thing since. but i would certainly stand up for your son and tell your husband the situation has got to change!!

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maybe you should write them a letter, if they don't change, and i know it will be hard but don't put up with it. they seem to be very incopedent and if you don't feel happy or feel that your son won't be safe with them, don't take your son over there. it's not about what they want it's about what you want and they are just being selfish

Trish - posted on 03/17/2010

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oh and Im sorry if this seems nasty, but screw being nice, they arent nice to thier own grandson, whats the point in being nice to them?? Huni, you obviously care about it, so be the strong one and deal with the situation NOW before it gets outta control... No1 has the right to push your son into things, not even you..

Trish - posted on 03/17/2010

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Ok... obviously the probem is that your in laws simply dont respect you and have no real idea about parenting, or grand parenting! Honestly its your way or the highway.. Make that clear, be the bitch (pardon my language) Stand up and go psycho if you have to. When it comes down to it, this is a mild form of abuse they are imposing on your child and its just not acceptable! I wouldnt be leaving my kids with them at all, let alone overnight! If they have a problem with you leaving him with your parents then maybe they should step up and be better with the protection etc.. It is your job as the mother to be sure your son is protected and safe, and these 'people' arent safe.

Theyre too busy or pushy to have you and your son around, so easy, if your husband insists on being around them, then he does it alone. I dont visit my MIL and I refuse to let my own mother have my kids, even for an hour, because neither are acceptable in the supervision department. When I visit my mum I clean the floors coz there is always food lying round from days before and I never let the kids outta my sight. I think that , yes as overbearing as it seems, I am ensuring my kids arent swallowing bad stuff and they are being cared for as best as I can be sure of. As I am pregnant again I am making sure that my partner does the same, coz if he doesnt step up and be a good protector or I will come down on him too. Kids cant stand up for themselves, we have to do it for them..

Sally - posted on 03/17/2010

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WOW! I would simply do my best to stay away from them. I wouldn't let them touch my child, or even go near them if I could help it. If I were you, I'd stay away from them too, not just my child. If you have to, tell them to their face in a firm tone that you do not appreciate the way they treat your child, that they are neglectful and even abusive!!! It's NOT okay and they have lost their right to see the child. Avoid them!!! And don't be shy about it!

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Wow, sounds like at my mil. But no dust, bird poop. Can't sit on the couches, full of poop, The kids ( I have 4) can't play on the floor, bird poop. They can't even pet the dog... it's full of poop. She has a beautiful big yard, but that's full of poop. Only dog poop this time. She has also put my kids in time out right after I had given them a talk/first warning. And when I told my child to get out of time out, she told me she put him there to calm down, and I told her I know, and I took him out, he's my kid to discipline. Now I have to admit she hasn't met my last child, she's 3 months old, because I refuse to bring them to that dirty house. But she knows she's welcome over anytime. Still waiting...

Tessa - posted on 03/17/2010

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I'd stop taking him around there. Stop visiting all together. If your hubby wants to see them he can do it by himself. Your sons best interests and your parenting is what matters the most.
Stuff what they think or feel, they have no respect for you obviously so they dont deserve your respect.

Theresa - posted on 03/16/2010

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Amanda,, that's a very good thing you did! you have a strong personality.
they don't care if you want to go to School and besides you have the right to decide pursuing your studies.some mommy's suffers a lot, not because of the violence of bad people, but because of the silence of good mother like us. Your success is determined by what you are willing to sacrifice for it.Everything in life has a beautiful ending. And if it is not beautiful, then be sure, it is not the ending. so continue what you have started
and ill be right here supporting you.. oops.. for a good example I'm studying also and third-year in college in Far Eastern University, Philippines. my sister in laws and their relatives hate that I'm studying i just said to them you don't care about my life i can live independently without you, because here in Philippines people are living with extended family and i don't like it. so i decided to join the extra-curricular in my University and it helps me not to pay my tuition fees 100%. hope this will help you not to stop what you've prepared for. God bless!

Amanda - posted on 03/16/2010

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girl, i know wat u mean on the convenience part, where they only want the baby wen its their free time, but still wind up with something better to do then they cant, they have been known to take my sil's kids to town w/o cartseats, so it makes me nervous, i have told them i do not let her go w/o, and their house wreaks, they never mop and i hate staying over there, tho i do to please my hubby, cuz they have let all kinds of animals in house, i.e. chickens!, and gives me allergies, i will not shower over there, and when i try to avoid staying there they lay guilt trip on my hubby cuz right now we staying at my parents til we get house, adn they whine that we love them more, which makes me want to go less, and they hate that i wont live up there on their land, (they are all on the grandpa's land, including 2 sils) adn wen we did for lil while i was miserable, 1 hour from town and family, and the worst thing is they only came to our house to make my hubby go work on their crap, they complained if we invited them in for even a min, but now we "never come c them" which is bull, we cant really afford the gas we spend on going 2-3 times per week, so do u blame me for making my hubby move with my parents, at least they dont barge into our room at 6 in morn, to make him go feed thier animals!! and my parents at least came to visit us, just to c us! and i've told inlaws they r welcome any time, but they dont want to drive, hmm! i just tell them i dont either, adn they use to never listen to me about my daughter either, wen i tried to be nice about things i had a prob with they would start talkin directly to cody, like if they had question even bout me, they would look at cody adn ask him the question with me right there, ugh sorry i have prob just written more than you, lol. but neways, my point is i told cody that if he didnt put a stop to it, i would, and i wouldn't be nice about it, they respect me a lil more now, did i mention that they believe women belong in the kitchen, barefoot and prego? all of them!! they hate that im going to school!! UGH! lol

Theresa - posted on 03/16/2010

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kat,, everybody's advice are perfectly right! 100% believe them.
i have nothing to say I am lucky because both my in laws are dead. i can raise my son on my own way.. Believe in your self and you can do it. God is always with us he will be there for you.. in times of trouble call him and all your weaknesses and struggles will fade away. God bless.

Jessica - posted on 03/16/2010

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As a mother it is your right to set them straight. Tell them politely but firmly that you are in charge and certain things are going to have to change if they are going to be involved in your son's life. Tell them point blank they are risking his health by doing what they are doing and you will not have him over until they are willing to change. My mother is the same as your in laws...She also has a drinking problem. I allowed her to watch him, and his diapers were wet, he was sobbing and she was drunk. Never again. That was only for a couple of hours. As much as it hurt me to hurt my own mother, (Since I had to confront her) at least she knows where I stand and I am not putting my son at risk. I'm not saying go beserk, I'm saying you and your hubby need to sit down with your in laws and discuss your concerns. My mother still doesnt think she has a drinking problem, but she DOES know that if she wants to see her grandson she can only do it sober.

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Why do you leave him over there if you know that that's what happens every time? Like others have said, I simply wouldn't take him there anymore. If they want to see him, they can come to you. We live out of state from our familys (my husband is in the military), but my mil is a packrat and her house is just literally unsafe for my son to be in. It was hard for me to tell her, but I did. He hasn't been to her house since he was six months old, because I literally cannot put him on the floor there. So when we're in town and they want to see him, they have to come to my mom's house.

Carrissa - posted on 03/16/2010

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yea my mother in law uses the expression ".....because you know how i was killing my children when i was raising them" but my comment to that is yes your children lived but this is MY child and MY opinions and MY way of doing it and thats how its going to be lol i just think its an in law thing,,, lol i jsut ignore them now even though they still tend to peeve me every now and then but they basically keep thier mouth shut although who knows what other differences i will later run into

Katarina - posted on 03/16/2010

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Heather, your post made me very upset, but for a good reason. When they take my son from my arms, that's exactly how I feel but thought I was over reacting. I'm going to stand up for myself more often and give them an ultimatum. Thank you ladies for all your advice!

Heather - posted on 03/16/2010

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Why would you want that enviorment to be a part of your sons life? You need to stand up and change things for your sonssake you are his mother and you havethe final say about what concerns him. You need to lay down the law and let them know if they can not follow your rules then they do not need to be apart of his life. He will have your parents and that is good enough if they will not change. And if someone ever tried to take my childout of my arms they would be lucky if I left them with thier hands still attached to their body!!! You need to look after your son and what is best for him, and not worry about their feelings. Good luck!!

Candace - posted on 03/16/2010

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What you have to do is confront them in a nice way. My mil does the same thing. She told me my son was teething 3 months ago and his teeth were cutting through the gums(no teeth yet). Then I took him over her house to keep while I ran an errand come back she had giving him a bath. No one told her to, but okay he needs to be cleaned but he did not have any babywash or a towel, so she used what she would use on herself and when he came home since he has very sensitive skin he broke out. I tell you!! Just leave him a lone I may have never had a baby but I do have maternal instincts and a mother to talk to. He has yet to spend the night over her house either. All she want is to put him in the bed with her. He sleeps alone at home and then she will not put his blanket down. He's not staying with her either until he gets older. Just stand your ground though. My husband doesn't support me all the times. He thinks she knows it all because she is his mother and she has had babies. My mom has too. lol

Katarina - posted on 03/16/2010

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My mil used to lay my son on his side to, and then put a pillow behind his back to keep him that way. She claimed he would sleep longer. I would tell her how on safe it was and she would keep doing it. I'd then fix my son and put him on his back and she would get offended and say that I don't trust her parenting even though she has 2 herself. I told her that a lot changed in 26 years!

Carrissa - posted on 03/16/2010

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speak up. Dont keep your mouth shut or it will keep going on. Im not that far yet with my child but my in laws are horrible too. Seriously i tell them i want my daughter laid to sleep on her back and my mil goes and puts her on her side. Im like... wht dont you get. But your husband has to do it. He is thier child. It wont mean anything coming from you... trust me ive tried that route. My husband was the saem way and i fianally just was like you really need to talk to them and dont be nice about it tell them how we really feel or they will never get it. Ever since hes talked to them and told them how much they upset us and that it IS going to be done our way they've shut thier mouths althought she hasnt spent the night with them yet and idk if id ever really want her to. Hope this helps?! :)

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