Can you forgive the father of your child if you found out he cheated on you while you were pregnant

Lee - posted on 03/01/2010 ( 180 moms have responded )

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Can you forgive the father of your child if you found out he cheated on you while you were pregnant and your little boy is only 7 months old? Should I try and work it out with him or get on with my life? Ive told him he can see his son whenever he wants and he said hes gonna make it up to me but ive kicked him out. What would u do? Please help

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Marjan - posted on 03/01/2010

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im so sorry for you ....i went through the same thing twice....the 1st time i found out my husband was cheating on me my son was 2 ...i decided to forgive him and try to make things work for the sake of our son although things were never the same after that... the 2nd time i found out he was cheating on me i was already 3 mnths pregnant with our second child ...as hard as it was knowing id be on my own with a 3 yr old and 1 on the way i just had to leave ...i believe everyone deserves a second chance and the 1st time i forgave him from the bottom of my heart but the second time that was it ...ive been on my own for more than a year now and ive never been so happy ive been blessed with 2 beautifull boys who bring me so much joy and happiness ....i hope my experience helps...i know every relationship and situation is different but i guess im trying to say there is light at the end of the tunnel either way you decide to go..life has a way of working itself out:) wish you all the best and take care

Andrea - posted on 03/01/2010

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This happened to me right after I got to bring my daughter home for her being in the NICU for 6 weeks.. It took him 3 days to tell me what he did, the ONLY reason he told me was becuase every one was getting ready to tell me what had happened.. It has taken me over a year to move on from what he did.. But at the end of the day he has had to prove to me that I am the one he really truely wanted to be with.. He has done everything in the world.. We went as far as talking with consular, which has helped.. But like some of the other woman have siad at the end it really truely is up to you and what is going to be best for you and your family.. We had a 20 month old son and an 7 week old daughter, so i told him we could try and make it work, but if i ever found out it happened again we were gone with out a thought.. It's one of the hardest things to forget and forgive.. I have forgiven but i have yet to forget, I try to forget but it is very hard to forget.. We are doing better after talking with therpy and making time for us to have one on one time with each other.. So once a month we have a date night.. Which has helped us alot to.. Really all you can do is look inside youself and decide what really works for you and your family.. I mean if you feel that you can forgive him great but if you even have a little part of you thinking he would do it again then you need to move on as trust is a big part of any relationship.. Which with time it heals some but not all...

Carina - posted on 03/01/2010

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Personally if it was me I would not be able to forgive nor take him back for that matter. If he did it once what will make me believe that he would not do it again? my personal opinion

I don't know what kind of relationship you had, how strong it was or what lead him to do what he did (which on his part was a very bad choice) but you will have to make the choice of which is best for yourself as well as for your son. On the end of the day its up to you to decide if you will be able to ever trust him again and if what he did was the first time and or the last.

This is a very tricky situation, regardless if your a mom or not on the end its alot to do between you and your partner and the trust relationship which in this case has now been broken. If you think it can be repaired by all means give it a try if you think that it cannot be repaired I would suggest to move on and find someone who will love you for who you are and not eve think of cheating on you.

I do hope all works out for the best for you and that what every choice you make is the right one for you. Good luck and keep your chin up.

Amanda - posted on 03/04/2010

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I don't want to sound negative, but honestly, from my experience, once a person cheats, it is HIGHLY likely that it will continue to happen. I've seen several close friends/relatives live out this scenario over & over, each time thinking "this time he'll change....." After giving up YEARS toward this effort, they each finally ended up moving on to a more stable future on their own. (Except one, whose hubby is always in pursuit of different girls, & he ended up becoming a dad to 3 kids outside the marriage, one of which ended up having to come live with them & their own 3 kids....) I myself had someone cheat on me with a (different) married woman with 3 kids when I was younger. He was with someone when I met him, & broke up with her once we started dating, but I was naive enough to think, "Oh, he won't leave me for someone else/cheat - I'm different..." Ha! He was CONSTANTLY hitting on me & everybody else after i left him, though he was in "committed" relationships with other girls....Ugh! Of course, as everyone else has said, you must make that call, but you are young, & your baby is young. There will be so many more opportunities for you to find someone who will love & respect you & your child, even if it may not seem like it right now. Also, there is always the risk of disease, which in some cases, may be a lifelong problem that may be passed to your child accidentally through towels, etc. or unfortunately, even fatal. Who will take care of your son should that occur? Would all the worry really be worth it? Especially if you are not legally married (not saying that's your case, but just saying, in case it is) What if you have another child by him, & then are financially dependent on him with more limited alternatives on what to do @ that point? Please weigh this very carefully, as it will certainly make a huge impact on both you & your son's lives either way. Oh, & don't hold onto a relationship simply because of time invested already. It has to be because you truly see this person as someone who enriches your lives; makes things better & brighter, & GIVES as much or more than he takes emotionally, financially....in every aspect. A needy, drama-inducing man is a drain on your joy & on your patience, which should be saved for your soon-to-be toddler. I'm speaking from more experience than I care to tell here. I'm very sorry to see anyone going through this, & pray that you find the strength you need to carry on in which ever direction you decide is right for you. Be strong & best wishes!

Ashley - posted on 03/04/2010

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First off let me say that I am so sorry to hear that you have to go through this. Personally, I have never had this problem, but I do believe in most cases the saying of 'once a cheater, always a cheater' I think that you beign pregnant and carrying his child when he did it was just that much worse. I could not forgive him but you need to look at it and decided if you really think that he is sorry and everything. There are many things to take into consideration. Hope things work out for you honey!

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Sarah - posted on 03/04/2010

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I kicked my now ex husband out when I found out he cheated on me while pregnant my son was only 2 months old and my oldest son was just over 2 years old and I am now happy to say I have a great man in my life and my kids lives and my ex is a very hands on father.So be sure to follow your heart and everything will sort itself out.

Lauren - posted on 03/04/2010

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Personally i think it depends on his dedication and attitude toward making it up to you. i used to be one of those girls who think they'll leave and never look back... n when it happend i left for about a month but i did go back by careful consideration. I guess i got over it because i know with him it was nothing physical. Its solely up to you and how you feel about him yourself and your situtaion. Make a list of all he's done wrong n all he's done right and let that balance its own answer out! Good luck :)

Lauren - posted on 03/04/2010

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Personally i think it depends on his dedication and attitude toward making it up to you. i used to be one of those girls who think they'll leave and never look back... n when it happend i left for about a month but i did go back by careful consideration. I guess i got over it because i know with him it was nothing physical. Its solely up to you and how you feel about him yourself and your situtaion. Make a list of all he's done wrong n all he's done right and let that balance its own answer out! Good luck :)

Danielle - posted on 03/04/2010

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I'm going through the exact same thing! The father of my child left me while I was pregnant and hadn't contacted me until a month before the baby was due. He was sleeping with anyone who walked his path and I ended up forgiving him. I regret that now because I found out (2 months after we've been back together) that one of the girls he slept with is now pregnant. I left with our son and he has called me crying asking me to come back but I know if he did it once, it wont phase him to do it again. I say move on. I miss him so much and you probably will too but think about in a year from now if you decide to leave, will you care about him?

Jill - posted on 03/04/2010

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hi hun so sorry with whats happen if it was me no i couldn't forgive but am not u and only u can make that chose am sorry to say. one thing i can say is if there no trusth then there no point huni, thats the one thing u need the most when it's gone, it's gone. but saying that have a go at starting from the begining again. go on date ie meals,movies walks what ever u want at least u can say u gave it ago for ur son. you never know it may work, it may not.

your son comes first no matter what hun good luck xx

Dawn - posted on 03/04/2010

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that same thing happened to me. my son is 8 months. i kicked him out too, but worst of all she got him into drugs.i wouldn't take him back if i were you, unless he proofs himself to you. but he should do that before you let him back in your home. i gave my husband chances for 5 years and he has only gotten worst. of course he asked you back..because you are the greatest thing that has happened to him, but that wont stop him from wanting to have fun..and you dont want your child to grow up like him either!

Lisha - posted on 03/04/2010

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I wouldn't have forgiven him... He was suppose to support you during your pregnancy not go off with another woman. If he did it once he might do it again. Then you have your son 1. He needs a father figure not jus part time but 24/7... 2. If you do end it then you have to explain to your son why when he's older and go though all that... 3. You might need that comfront when things get hectic.



When a fight starts you'll bring it up over and over again because now in the back of your head the thought would always be there. If you love him and want to work it out you can always do counseling.

Lisha - posted on 03/04/2010

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I wouldn't have forgiven him... He was suppose to support you during your pregnancy not go off with another woman. If he did it once he might do it again. Then you have your son 1. He needs a father figure not jus part time but 24/7... 2. If you do end it then you have to explain to your son why when he's older and go though all that... 3. You might need that comfront when things get hectic.



When a fight starts you'll bring it up over and over again because now in the back of your head the thought would always be there. If you love him and want to work it out you can always do counseling.

Kristi - posted on 03/04/2010

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no, i would not forgive him. i wouldnt keep his child away from him or keep him away from the child but if he truly loved u he would never had cheated. there r no excuses, not even alcohol. if he was in a place to get drunk enough to cheat he shouldnt have been there at all. and i think that for the sake of ur son u wouldnt b with him simply because of the possiblity that u will hold resentment against him, causing fighting or what if its some sort of trait ur son will pick up...who knows. not all happy families consist of mom and dad living in the same household.

Katie - posted on 03/04/2010

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Depends. DId you find out on your own that he cheated on you. Or did he feel horrible and come out and tell you? Honestly i've been cheated on too many times.. So I probably wouldn't be able to. But I don't know your full situation. Good luck on your decision.

Jaquie - posted on 03/04/2010

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When my husband and I got married I was 7 months pregnant with our daughter. He had always been a flirt.. It is just naturally who he is. I had always been jealous but whenever I was worried I would confront him and always the answer was the same. And its true that love is blind because I believed him everytime.



We are now separated and our daughter is about to turn 3. While I was prenant I was attending Uni in Ballarat and he was working away. He was cheating the whole time he was away, he slept with one of my friends the week before our wedding and a complete stranger the night before the wedding.



Can I forgive him? No I cannot. I love him still to this day and always will. I will never stop him seeing his daughter but I cannot ever trust him or let him into my life the way I once did.



I have moved away from him now and am back at uni and my daughter is here with me. It's been the hardest move of my life, financially mentally and emotionally but I know in my heart its the right move.



It's up to you whether you try to work it out but just remember the longer you leave it the harder it will be for you and more importantly your son. You need to do what you think is best for you and your son in the long run.

Jaquie - posted on 03/04/2010

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When my husband and I got married I was 7 months pregnant with our daughter. He had always been a flirt.. It is just naturally who he is. I had always been jealous but whenever I was worried I would confront him and always the answer was the same. And its true that love is blind because I believed him everytime.



We are now separated and our daughter is about to turn 3. While I was prenant I was attending Uni in Ballarat and he was working away. He was cheating the whole time he was away, he slept with one of my friends the week before our wedding and a complete stranger the night before the wedding.



Can I forgive him? No I cannot. I love him still to this day and always will. I will never stop him seeing his daughter but I cannot ever trust him or let him into my life the way I once did.



I have moved away from him now and am back at uni and my daughter is here with me. It's been the hardest move of my life, financially mentally and emotionally but I know in my heart its the right move.



It's up to you whether you try to work it out but just remember the longer you leave it the harder it will be for you and more importantly your son. You need to do what you think is best for you and your son in the long run.

Amanda - posted on 03/04/2010

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i had the same thing happen to me... i never forgived him but we split up and we said we would work it out which i loved the idea.. till he fell for my best friend.... 3 yrs on now i still dont forgive him.. but i still love him just as much... i dont feel as though there is a relationship with out trust

Jae - posted on 03/04/2010

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Not only did I find out he was cheating on me while I was pregnant but he denied me and our child to her and Introduced her to the family and they all knew what was going on and didn't tell me. So I can understand what your going through. I was heartbreaking and it took me a long time to get over it but eventually i did. I just analyzed the relationship in all ways that make one and came to realize that I am just geniuely happier without constanly worried about his fidelity and lies when I have a wonderful child who needs my undivided attention. Sure it is easier said then done and if you two were commited to eachother it will be even harder and I went through all the stages of heartbreak, you know, depression, anger(the longest stage i went through) self-loathing, regrets. Anything to convince myself that it was me and that I caused him to stray. But in the end i realized that he just found a way to get out of the relationship and knew how I would be when I found out and so I just let him have is way. He left but til this day he is actively in his daughter's life and I would never keep her from him I had to learn to be mature enough to deal with him on a platonic parent relationship and although that wasn't easy either I discovered that I can be a single mother and still be happy. What women don't realize is that you don't need a man to feel complete or to take care of you yes it would be nice to have a man who will be all those things but also remember you don't have to compromise your self, dignity and respect or settle for less for love. Do what's best for you and your son and if you come to realize that you can forgive and forget then go with what your heart says but also don't ignore common sense either.

Ashley - posted on 03/04/2010

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it has happened to me and no i did not forgive him, i tried my hardest but i just could not find it in my heart to take him back. once a cheater always a cheater is the way i see it and it hurts alot, i know how you feel. but keep in mind that just because he was not good to you does not mean he will not be good to the child. and you can not let the fact that he hurt you affect how you treat him when it comes to the baby. he still has rights to see the kid if it does not work between you 2 and he will always be the father of your child. it sucks and i know but its a personal choice to stay with or not stay with him. choose wisely because if anywhere in your mind there is even the slightest thought that he might do it again, it could potentialy ruin anything you have left

Kasey - posted on 03/04/2010

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had the same situation just different actors in the movie!!!!!!! is he still with this woman is what you need to find out! but ONLY if you want this to work. you can do this on your own... we all can! you just need to find out if you love him enough to work it or leave it. if he has had a history of this kind of behavior then sister i say throw him to the dogs but if this is a first time act then you need to ask yourself is he going to be the daddy you want around your baby boy. to raise hm and teach him everything he needs to know, and if he is going to love you the way that you need him to. that is something no one can answer but you... i am sorry that you are having to go through this when it should in reality be the happiest time of your life. but what ever you decide you need to ask yourself lots of questions and make sure it is your head answering and not your heart! not at this point... so soon after the baby... do you need to be listening to your heart! i am pretty sure you are a bag of emotions right now... if i remember correctly. lol just message me if you need someone to talk to. i have been in your situation and have a good feeling i know what exactly you are going through

Debbie - posted on 03/04/2010

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For me personally I could not forgive him. Doing that shows he does not care much for you and his child. I could never trust him again if that happened to me so it would be over as soon as i found out. But everyone is different I suppose it depends on the individuals involved. I would get on with my life with my child/children there will be someone better out there for you who will love and respect you and your child and who ill not hurt you in that way.

Good Luck with whatever you decide to do.

Claire - posted on 03/04/2010

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I'd never stop my partner seeing his daughter but i dnt think i cud 4give him if he cheated on me while i was pregnant.

My opinion is, once a cheat always a cheat. If he can do it once and get away with it then wots gonna stop him doin it again? xx

Tillie - posted on 03/04/2010

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hard to forgive someone even if ur carryin his baby with me i dont have my daughter dad here helpin me his with his ex-girlfriend right now its hard

Maddie - posted on 03/04/2010

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my partner did the same to me when i was preg with my first son and we split but when my son was born we got back together and hes never done it since but i will say i took me all most 5 years to forgive him conpleatly but i agree with what every1 else is saying its ur choice, u need to do whats best 4 u and ur son, take time to think about it and i hope everythink works out 4 u xxx

Nicole - posted on 03/04/2010

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NONONO!!! I was in the same exact situation and the dad claimed he would change and begged and begged so I took him back and he kept doing it to me so just leave him and find someone who is going to love you and your child thats what I did and Im happy as can be ,but it is your decision Im just giving you an opinion after being through it.

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I was 3 months pregnant when I found out that my boyfriend was cheatin on me! I phoned him to let him know I knew, packed his stuff an took them to his mates an that was the end! It wasn't just that he cheated but obviously he didn't care enough to think about his daughter!! I'm so glad I got rid! He comes to see my baby girl when he feel's like it but we are better off without him!

Katherine - posted on 03/04/2010

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honestly i went through this when my son was only 4 months old. I found out he'd cheated serveral times. I tried to forgive and get over it, but everytime he spoke ended up questioning whatever he said and it just drove us farther apart. we fought more and more and that's not healthy for your child to hear. there is no way they can ever take back what they've done but its a question of whether or not you can live with ALWAYS wondering if that person is really out doing what they say they're doing or lying again. I love my son dearly but i feel like its unhealthy for me to be living that way and always on edge which made me unhealthy as a mom and i couldn't tolerate that.

Adrianne - posted on 03/04/2010

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Im going through something similar...My son was about a month old when my husband started cheating on me. Then had an affair for 6 months before he finally told me and broke it off with her. Then, to top it all off, he got her pregnant. He denies the whole thing and says it only happened the "one time" and blah blah blah. She says otherwise, and i've seen her baby. She's almost identical to my kids when they were babies, and all of my kids look like my husband. She has the same chin and eyes as my kids. It breaks my heart and it still does. We are still together, part of it is because i do love him and always will, another part is we have 3 kids and i grew up between parents and always swore to myself growing up that if i ever had kids i would never put them through that like my parents did me and my brothers, and then there's also a part of me that has no idea why im still here. So really it is up to you. Thers all kinds of advice people can give you about what to do in this situation, but it all depends on how you feel and if you can live with someone after they betrayed your trust like that.

Veronica - posted on 03/04/2010

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I think it depend on you and him if you can find it in your heart to trust him then yes but he should have to work hard to earn it. I would personally not probly be able to but I know people that have moved on and have great relationships and I know people that tried and it didnt work. I tryed for 1 day and just could not do it. I also think that if he is truly a good person it might work out. I wish you much luck but your first step it to forgive but dont let it hurt you it is goingot be a long road. I lived in disbelive the first few months but I learned that things happen for a resaon I am now married to a wonderful man and my ex has signed the adoption paper for our daughter and we are very happy.

Sara - posted on 03/04/2010

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Absolutly NOT! And that goes for wither I was pregnant or not. I wouldn't ever be able to trust him again. If you feel you could trust him again then yes give it a try. I personally couldn't do it. I wish you the very best and I know you'll make it through this very trying time.

Kelly - posted on 03/04/2010

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I would forgive him eventually but not necessarly take him back. It just depends on how many times this happened before and how many chances he's already been given. You would know better than anyone..

Crystal - posted on 03/04/2010

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My first daughter's father cheated on me while i was pregnant. and lied to me about it until she was almost 2. when i found out, i lost so much respect for him. i couldn't even look at him the same. i chose not to forgive him and we amicably went our seperate ways.



in hindsight, he was an awesome dad, a great provider, and a loving partner. (we weren't married) he changed alot after the baby was born, and if I could change it now, i would forgive him and try. I was young, selfish, and hurt. and i tore my little family apart to make myself feel vindicated. it was wrong.



if you think the actions will continue now that the baby is born, kick him to the curb. but if he is trying, you try too. best advice i can give.



i wish i had been smart enough to try.



oh, not sure about your age range, but he was only 17 and i was 18. so honestly , he was just being a teenage boy. and i was being a pissy teenage girl.

Lizz - posted on 03/04/2010

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For me no wayyy!! I would just let him be involved in his childs life and move on...it is not ok to cheat on a woman, ESPECIALLY when pregnant, he wasnt just hurting u, he was hurting his child too!! How does he think his son is going to feel later in life if he knows his dad cheated on his mom?!?!? not good :(

Catherine - posted on 03/04/2010

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guess with all this replies one can correctly presume that most if not all men are liars. nothing confuses you more than a cheating spouse. all sorts of thoughts run through your mind in disbelief. we lose some we win some. there are so many factors that will determine your decision. is he worth ur tears?, have u always suspected him? do you go with ur gut? will i be happier without him? have i been happy with him? yes he lied to me and came home late but atleast he carried my favourite pizza. he made me mad but does not have me accounting for his credit card. can i afford my family? can he afford to sustain our family? did u talk about your future together? did he mention you in his future plans? do i agree with him about those plans? marriage is a commitment, sacrifice and alot of comedy if u learn to look at the good against the bad. in future you don't want to look back and regret that you did not give it ur all. did i answer your question? no. because all i can do is advice you, not decide for you. think about it. it helped me 4give. not one of the easiest things to do but you are a woman and we can do anything we set our minds to. good luck. u'll need it.

Dawnielle - posted on 03/04/2010

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i have thought about this kind of senerio many times and i think my opinion is this...

to me, people make mistakes, and sometimes those mistakes are forgivable and sometimes they just do too much damage to a relationship.

for me, i would have to know if it was a one night stand kind of cheating or an affair that was persistant and he just got caught.

if he was honest about it and came out and told you then he is probably truly sorry and knew that it was wrong, but if you found out and then he was super sorry...he might just be sorry that he got caught.



it really is a personal decision and i truly feel for you.

hope you can figure out your feelings and either way you go, that your happy.

Leah - posted on 03/04/2010

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Ultimately you are the only one who can decide if you want to move past this. And I'm sure he would have to prove himself trustworthy.



If I was in your shoes, however, I know I would not be able to forgive or forget. I am a firm believer than if you cannot forgive and forget, it would be very difficult to move past this.

Kerry - posted on 03/04/2010

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If it happened to one of my friends I would say it was not worth staying with him, However, I would be making up some type of excuse for him and rationalizing everything if it were me. It is hard to say if it did happen to me and I didn't leave him I would never be able to trust him and I would end up always doubting him. i wish I would have the strength to just leave. Let's face it, you are decided to have his child for a reason. Feelings don't suddenly go away no matter how bad someone messes up.

Jasmine - posted on 03/04/2010

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honestly, i can't really answer that because I've said i would do certain things in a situation and then when it actually happens i tend to do the opposite. But one thing is I don't think i'd ever be able to forgive him but I would think I would try to work things out. I think it all depends...if he treats you like crap or where he only treats you good for awhile then falls back on bad habits, i would def say move on. Maybe things could work later on when he learns whatever lessons he needs to learn?

Mags - posted on 03/04/2010

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i could never forgive him. as i feel once a cheat always a cheat.. PLUS to cheat while you were pregnant makes it worse, but at the end of the day its up to you...

so best of luck with whatever u decide hunny, think of whats best for you and your son. xx

Jamie - posted on 03/04/2010

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Personally I would have kicked him out too. I wouldn't be able to forgive and forget. I would think that would make me worry all the time that he would cheat again. If he came in late from work I would wonder. I think the fact that your pregnant makes it even more terrible. How could someone do that to you? That in my eyes would be unforgiveable. I mean he could potentially be off getting someone else pregnant. It brings up a lot of issues...trust, respect, honesty. How can you make up for that? I feel so bad for you. I think you should know that you can do better. You deserve someone that is faithful to you. I would let him be a part of the baby's life if he wants to...but personally I wouldn't be able to offer anymore than that.

Elizabeth - posted on 03/04/2010

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NO! If the father could cheat on you while you are carrying his CHILD he is not worth it. Get on with your life and find somebody that respects you and your baby. I would tell him that there is no making it up to me- anybody capable of that is also capable of a lot worse. You are going to be going through some of the most emotional times of your life now and those moments should not be spent with somebody that you cant trust. If he thinks that he can cheat on you and you will forgive him he will do it again. I believe once a cheater always a cheater (on that person). People that are in love DONT cheat and i really think its impossible to even get yourself in that position when you are in love. Do yourself a favor and stay out of this poisonous relationship- you could do so much better and I have to say again YOU WERE PREGNANT- how could anybody cheat on somebody at all let alone when they are pregnant? thats disgusting and he does not deserve a second chance.

Jennifer - posted on 03/04/2010

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I would say its up to you and what is best for you and your son. If I ever found out my husband was cheating on me, it would kill me. If I were you I would do a lot of praying and a lot of time to yourself and figure out what you want. Good luck!

Victoria - posted on 03/04/2010

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i couldnt forgive him if he cheated on me even if i wasnt pregant never mind while i was pregant. cus godforbid he cheated with someone who has something.. and he gave it to u and the baby

Melissa - posted on 03/04/2010

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Ew no. Its called child support, and take all that you can from his ass. Once a cheater always a cheater.

Nada - posted on 03/04/2010

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u did the right thing that u kicked him out, if u forgive him he ll betray u again and again he should have stayed beside u supporting waiting impatiently for his unborn baby,dont let him back and dont accept any sorries ,its too hard but
be strong and firm girl and dont lose up your dignity

Mel - posted on 03/04/2010

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Honey gone thru same thing with our first kid when we were still pretty immature and young. We have two now and a good 5yrs of building trust L8r cause it takes soooo much time ....The straight up question is, Is he worth the damage? Test him to see if he TRUELY is going to change his ways for you and your boy.....If he's not willing to then there will be no trust like there is at the moment.....In other words forgiving him means your no longer angry at what hes done to you... (Be strong) or find sum1 u do trust....

Amy Marie Rose - posted on 03/04/2010

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The same thing happened to me. I was upset but I still let him come back. We hashed out a lot of differences, I did a lot of yelling, he did a lot of I'm sorries, and then we went to therapy. We also starting going to a new church which has changed our lives. We found something better to live for that was bigger than just the two of us. In the past year I have learned it is hard to forgive, but once you do it you will feel so much better. You can do it. You loved each other once and you can get that back. As long as he is sorry and you are sure it was a one time thing. Don't ruin your marriage over it.

Leanne - posted on 03/04/2010

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That is so tough, my heart goes out to you. Personally I would find it extremely hard to forgive him, but I will not be married to him any longer. Forgiveness is a healing process and to forgive someone is not always easy, but eventually I think I would be able to forgive him, but never go back to him. Be firm, I know its hard, BUT BUT, do you want to raise your son in an unhappy martial enviroment? Little ones pick up bad karma so easily, they can feel your pain and it makes them so insecure.



I know this is not easy for you, and if I had to be in your shoes, I would have a hard time and would suffer in pain, but there is one thing I will not ever, EVER compromise on and that is trust. If I cant trust my husband and he cheated on me with someone whilst I was pregnant, I would feel, that neither our son or our relationship means anything to him and I will give him the boot.



If your parents are still alive, or brothers or sisters, use them as encouraging tools, to help with the sleepless nights, the pain and prosedures, and then of course all the moms here are always willing to give advice and help you with emotional support.



Then, the best person that understands and will guide you through this person is the great creator of your son and you, the heavenly father. Even if you are not religious just remember, the love you have for your son, multiply that by a million and that is the love He has for you. He will send help and angels on your way to guide you out of this painful situation. Chin up, we are all here for you!

Carly - posted on 03/04/2010

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I don't think I would forgive him! I think it's worse when there is a child involved because it is not only a betrayal on you but also on your son! I think if he didn't know you was pregnant and he cheated then maybe I would think about taking him back and trying again, but if he betrayed my son there would be no chance in hell I would take him back. xx

Tanisa - posted on 03/04/2010

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You I had this happen to me. But my daughter was only a newborn when I found out. You know I wouldn't be with him but at least try to work about enough so that he can be there for your son. I no it's very hard. I went through the same thing. But my baby's dad just walked out. The thing is if you want to be with him you know you aren't ever going to trust him because in the back of your mind there is always going to be that little voice telling you. But you need to be the one to make that choice no one else. you need to figure it out if you want to forgive him and be with him or just leave him and be friends for your son. I hope this helped. I'm sorry your going through this.

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