child # 2?? undecided...

Jamie - posted on 09/16/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I have a 3 year old son, and I'm trying to decide if I want another and when. Do you have any advice or any opinions about having a second child and how long (or not long) to wait after your first?

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Shawna - posted on 09/16/2009

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I think its great to be able to have a sibling within 3-4 years of yourself so that you can go to the same schools some of the time but not always. I am the oldest of 4 and I had a sis 1 grade lower than me and I had sibs several years younger. I got along with them all about the same so I think the way they are raised matters more for that. I only have 1 child now but thats my plan and why. Hope it helps :-)

Brandy - posted on 09/16/2009

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I have a nine month old child right now and my husband and I plan on trying for our second when he is about 15 months old. We want are kids to be close in age so that they will be closer as kids. My brother and I are six years apart and we hated each other until about 2 years ago. Choosing the right space between your children is a hard choice. One thing you and your husband need to look at is the amount of time that you have now with just the one child. If you are feeling stressed out a lot of the time and don't feel like you get enough time with you son you may want to wait a little while longer. The older your first child is the more independent that child will be giving you more time to devout to another child. I am a stay-at-home mom so work doesn't really add to my stress level. I wish you and you hubby all the best with your decision!

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I think if you were going to have another, now would be a great time to start trying. Three to four years apart gives the kids enough in common where they can play together happily if they need to or want to, but enough space between them that they will have their own friends and their own stuff to do if and when they get sick of each other. My kids are 4 1/2 years apart, and it works out beautifully... my brother and I are only a year and a half apart, and we HATED each other most of the time while we were kids.

Katherine - posted on 09/16/2009

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i have a five year old and a 4 month old and i think there age difference is perfect cause the oldest one feels a sense of responsibility and she acts like a mother. she understands that the baby needs to eat all the time and needs cuddles. im happy we waited till she was old enough to understand the babies needs. plus its really nice to hae one so independant and one that is dependant. it seems to balance out evenly.

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