child support for my husbands child

Karima - posted on 12/14/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )

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ok so my husband has another kid this girl got pregant around the same time i did we werent married at the time but whatever its done, so she had the kid my husband told her he would give her money or whatever she needed and she said no she didnt want anything to do with him so almost 2 years later she filed for child support but doesnt want him to see the kid at all we have contacted her several times and she says she doesnt want anything from him but she gets money every month what should we do cuz we dont have the money for a lawyer ?and he wants to see his child

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Melissa - posted on 12/17/2009

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what both of you can do, is seek legal advice, there is a thing called legal aid, all i can say, is seek legal advice, its not right, its very wrong what she is doing. And he has a right to see his child.

Candice - posted on 12/16/2009

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good luck.. it sounds really complicated.. my cousin is going through the custody and visitation issues with her ex and they are spending thousands on court..it is drainer her and putting a lot of strain on them financialy.. if she dont have the money to take you guys back to court she may give in to what you want.. if you guys can come up with a visitation plan together you'll both save a lot of money... just remember if you are going to court.. anything you say can be held against you.. my cousin said some bad things about her ex and it made her look real bad in court.. just keep that in mind and have lots of witnesses that you are trying to see the child.. and like everyone else said look for pro-bono lawyers and contact the dshs office in your town they may be able to help you with costs and the process of filing the papers.. good luck to you and your family..

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YOU NEED TO FILE FOR JOINT CUSTODY... MAKE SURE YOU HAVE RECIEPTS FOR ALL THE MONEY YOU HAVE SENT TO HER JUST TO PROVE THAT YOU HAVE BEEN SUPPORTING THE CHILD. BUT HE SHOULD BE ALLOWED VISITATION MAYBE EVEN NIGHTS AND WEEKENDS BECUZ HE HAS A SAFE HOME AND PRODUCTIVE LIFE. FILE A PETITION FOR JOINT CUSTODY.

Jamie - posted on 12/15/2009

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Lol, chics like this dont give in. Shell endup calling the police saying hes stalking and such and then youll jsut have more drama. I suggest doing the court, its easier then all the crap that could end up happening.

Karima - posted on 12/15/2009

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thanks for all ur help ladies well we went to court 2 times it was a huge hasle he got the paternity then they set up the child support he was still pissed cuz she did this just to get welfare so about a couple months after that he went to her house to try to talk to her and thats when she was like i dont want anything from u just his money so we took her to courtand i was working at the time and i didnt call and confirm the case on time so it got dissmissed and we were at the court house for 3 hours trying to get everything ready cuz my husband needed an interpreter i really dont want to be the one to go to the courts i was just thinking he could go over to the house and try again and again and eventually she will get tired of it what do you think ?

Jamie - posted on 12/14/2009

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You dont need a lawyer. Child Support and custody are two seperate issues as far as the court is concerned. Your DH should file A Petition for Child Custody and Parenting Time. Your local court should have these petitions and instructions on what to do. Also, they cant claim abandonment if he is paying childsupport, because if they claim abandonment then he would be able to terminate his rights as a parent and not have to pay anymore childsupport. So that part is irrelevent. Also, is he 100% sure its his kid? You should do a DNA test, and if your DHs name isnt on the birth certificate the court may require it. If you have any questions let me know. I work in family law.

Karri - posted on 12/14/2009

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Without knowing what is available in your community I can't say for sure what your options are. But I do know that where there is a will there is a way. He is the biological father, so there for he has rights to the child. The fact that he is paying child support means that he is accepting responsibility for that child. With the two year lapse in time, there may be some questioning and concern, but if taken to court it can be explained that he was adjusting to the idea of raising a child in general (the one he has with you), not that he didn't care about the other, he was just adjusting as the child he has with you was around. Now knowing and being aware of the wonderful benefits of being a father he wants to be apart of his other child's life, and he should very well be allowed to do so. In my community there are "free" lawyers, law advocates, available, your husband should go online, go to the court house and do some research. Where there is a will there is a way. But nothing comes easy and there will be some fighting and struggling involved. Wish you the best of luck.

Kendall - posted on 12/14/2009

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there is free legal advice out there, you can take her to court for visitation or custody, if you wanted. but if she doesnt want $ then so be it for her but your husband still has a right to his child and your child has a right to know its brother or sister.

Carolee - posted on 12/14/2009

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A lot of places have pro-bono lawyers. Ask at a local church (a lot of times, a church will have contact with them, even if you don't attend that church), but you may have to check at multiple churches. It might work.

Sandy - posted on 12/14/2009

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yes that is true Allison but i would find a way to get a lawyer so will do it for free you just have to look. I say this because it has been two year they could calm abandedment on him and he get nothing... but if there was a way that he could prove that he was trying and she was the one that refuse everything that would be different.. best thing get a lawyer, fisrt vistes are useally free... even if you have to work our payment planes or something. Best of luck...

Allison - posted on 12/14/2009

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ask the court system for help is what I would do. Been there done that whole situation. Legally she can not force him out of his childs life. The court should be able to put into writing when he is allowed to spend time with him child and that should be little or no cost to you.

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