Child Support Issues

Amanda - posted on 06/17/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I'll try to be succinct.

The father of my two kids is court-ordered to pay child support in the pathetic amount of $32/wk. He hasn't had a legit job in over a year, so child support services can't dock his pay, and the only support I've recieved since May 2010, was his tax return ($400 in March 2011) He owes arrears of $1200 plus interest. He claims he can't get a good job becase he's a convicted felon (felony coersion for threatening to commit suicide by cop and frame me for child abuse if I left him. I left him anyway. :D )

He works under the table, and has no bank accounts (because his assest will be seized). He is paid in cash. When we go to court, he tells the judge he is unemployed and can't afford to pay support. This most recent court date, he asked for an adjournment to obtain counsel.

The public defender's office can't help me, even though I'm a stay-at-home-mom, my boyfriend makes to much money. But not enough money for us to afford a lawyer. Legal Aid has offered to give me advice, assuming I qualify financially.

Okay... my question: What am I supposed to do? He is going to get a lawyer and ask for child support to be modified or suspeneded. I have no way to prove he works under the table (and sells weed... good money is selling pot.) He's just stalling for time at this point. He's already been found guilty of child support violations once, if he's found guilty of willfully neglecting child support again, he goes to jail.

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Kelli - posted on 06/17/2011

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I have almost the same situation. My son's father gave up his visitation rights because they were supervised visits and he didnt like someone telling him what he can and cant do with his son. After that he thinks he shouldnt have to pay child support. When we first started this custody thing the judge only ordered him to pay @35.00/week. I think he doesnt keep a steady job just so he doesnt have to pay. The judge told him he has to pay no matter what. The last time we went to court he wanted to pay only @25.00/month because he has been supporting his new girlfriend and her son. The judge basically laughed in his face. The judge told him if he didnt pay his arrears in 2 days then he would go to jail. So guess what he did. What ended up happening was my parents paid for the retainer on a good lawyer and now I have sole/physical custody of my son. My sone is now 11 1/2 and has never seen his father. I havemt received child support in years because I am affraid he would want to start seeing my son again. I have every intention of going after to for back support when he is 17years old because then he is old enough to make his own decison's about his father.
You should be able to qualify for a court appointed lawyer. If he brought you to court then they have to give you representation no matter what you make. I lived with my parents when all of this started and their income didnt matter. So your boyfriends shouldnt either.
He may just be saying he is getting a lawyer but he may just be saying that to scare you. He is the father and has to pay support whether he wants to or not. In NY (where I am ) you have to pay 17% of your income no matter what they make. When my ex first took me to court he said he was working under the table and the judge said what do you bring home a week and he said $100.00 which was BS but couldnt prove it so he ordered @35.00 a week even though he said he couldnt afford it. He is going to have to pay something no matter what.
Regarding the drugs all you have to do is tell the judge that and he will order that he take drug meetings and possibly parenting classes. If you dont feel your children will be safe with him for visitation you can ask for supervised visits which are supervised by the county and not in your own home if you dont want.
Dont let him scare you into comprimising. It is a long process and there will be good days and bad but you need to start doing some research and find out what rights you have so you know what to expect. Dont let him get away with not paying. If my ex was found guilty of willfully neglecting and if he did it again I would totally file again and let him go to jail. He is still gonna owe you the money no matter where he is. Hang in there it is all worth it in the end!

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Renata - posted on 02/12/2013

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I have some what the same issues my kids dad just don't want to pay in he has been court order to do so and he neglecting. Child support . He doesn't want to up grade his address so he wouldn't get served any paper work. And what makes it hard for me I stay in Louisiana where the both of us was born and he. Is in the State of.Houston Texas. Well this is the tricky part they say he doesn't makes enough on his wages so I get on my child support card is 1.67 or 4.89 something if im Lucky. Really in it could take months for that payment happen again why would they even take that out like that its an insult to me and my baby. How can you take care of four kids with that. I can't even save for college. Also he have a studio in home and charging ppl. Lots of under the table game going. On

Andrea - posted on 06/17/2011

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If he is selling then he will have a stash in his house, call the cops and have his ass arrested. You won't get the money anyway so you might as well make sure that his illegal activities get stopped.

Amanda - posted on 06/17/2011

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I appriciate your input, Kelli. But let me clarify a few things.

First of all, I'm in NY, too. I have full legal and physical custody of both kids, and he has no visitation rights. ( I let his mom take the kids occasionally, and he sees them at those times, rarely)

Also, he isn't taking me to court... I'm taking him.

I spent the time when we were together being intimidated. That isn't the case now. He's a worthless father, and the least he can do is pay $32/wk for his two kids, since he won't do anything else for their benefit.

I'm just worried that he will weasel out of paying child support. I don't plan on making it easy for him to do that.

The drug issue is only relevent in a custody agreement (when we went to court for custody I threatened him with a drug test, and he gave me custody no contest)

So, to sum up. I want him to pay for his kids. I can't afford a P.I. or a lawyer. The only way I will stop dogging him for child support is if he signs away rights.

Amanda - posted on 06/17/2011

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I considered hiring a PI, but that costs money I don't have.

How does he live? The same way he lived when he and I were together. He mooches off his current girlfriend.

Amelia - posted on 06/17/2011

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This may sound really out there but hire a private investigator. They can take pictures of him working and that's pretty well the only way to prove it.
Where is he living? How does he get around? How does he afford food? It's a tough situation.

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