Circumcision i have lots of questions

Carrie - posted on 07/12/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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My husband is Nigerian and in his culture they circumcise boys. But i’m from England and here we do not. My son is coming to 6 months now and he still wants to get him circumcised. Is he not too old now? And am ientitled to say no? What are your views?

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Stephanie - posted on 07/13/2009

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My husband and i made the decision to circumcise our boy as soon as we found out we were expecting a son. We read the research and talked with other parents who we know who had boys and ultimately decided to circumcise. Our son was under a week old and by 2 hours after, it was like it had never happened to him. There are so many ways and methods of getting it done. It can be done at any age. Although, once a boy gets to be school age, it will require missed school days and a longer period of healing. If it is not something you are comfortable with, you need to discuss it with your husband. Coming from difficult cultures, you will have different views and opinions on many things, and communication will be very important. We made the decision based on what we believed was best for our son and we would do it again if we have another boy. But, to each their own. Good luck with this very big decision.

Katie - posted on 07/13/2009

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I had my son circumsized at 6 months.We decided to wait due to the fact we did not want to have to possibly have it re-done.It is so much easier to clean and now that he is finding his penis and starting to know what it is, when he touches it I don't worry as much as getting bacteria under the foreskin.However it is you and your husbands decision though.I know it's a hard decision but whatever you make he will still be a happy, growing little boy!

Felicia Neikolle - posted on 07/13/2009

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I waited 8 days to get my son circumsized after birth ... but this is also because we are Jewish. I say you have to follow your heart ... talk with your husband about it ... find out the reasons why he wants to have him snipped ... if it's due to his religious beliefs and you are supportive of his religious beliefs and will incorporate them in the up bringing of your son, then I say you should have him cut. If it's just because of tradition or social acceptance, etc then I say follow your heart and don't snip him. You ALWAYS have the right to say no. Parenting is a compromise when both parents are involved ... both opinions count and should be weighed out and TALKED out between you both. Hope this helps.

[deleted account]

I did not have my son circumcised, and it sounds like you already know that circumcision is not healthier or cleaner. It is purely a cultural thing. I certainly think you have the right to say no, because the only person who should decide what your son's penis looks like should be your son!

There is no upper limit to the age at which one can be circumcised. Why don't you see if your husband will agree to let your son decide if he wants it done? When he is older, your husband can discuss the reasons his culture does it, and your son can make an informed choice. Older children and adults can get much better pain relief for the surgery, too. Plus, they won't have an open wound sitting in a diaper all day.

Carol - posted on 07/13/2009

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I didnt have my son circumsized, mainly for the reason he wasnt born that way, so who am I to change him?
when these women say its 'more hygenic' they're misinformed, its not more or less hygenic then a circumsized penis. it just takes different methods to clean. a boy is not more likely to get an std because hes uncircumsized, this is also a myth.

at this point in society the only reason to do it is more cosmetic than anything else. yes, some religions chose to do it for that reason, but if you dont follow that faith, you're only doing it because it 'looks better'
in your case I wouldnt have it done, if you're against it, and theres no medical reason for it I think you should stand your ground. alot of people will give you slack because your hubby is circumsized and you didnt do the same to your son. dont worry bout this, my hubby is circumsized as well and he wasnt a bit bothered by our choice not to do it.
some people say 'oh well they're look different then they're school mates.' honestly? have any of those people ever seen two penis' that look exactly the same? no. again thats just another mainstream excuse to do it.

I'm personally firmly against cutting a piece of your childs penis off because 'thats what everyone else does' and I dont see any other reason to do it.

Colleen - posted on 07/13/2009

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We had our son circumsized and we plan to do it with our future boys as well. I can see exactly where the people who choose not to do it are coming from but personally it is our choice to go through with it. Our son was in the NICU for the first month of his life and we waited until after he came home and scheduled the procedure with a Urologist and not the pediatrician in the hospital after he was born. I think we will wait until our next baby comes home and get a Urologist to do it next time too. It is really hard to see them strapped down to the board and our Urologist would not let us stay in with him but he was numb and we also bought an over the counter topical cream to numb it further as the Urologist office reccommended. He was cranky (for obvious reasons) for the next like two days but was fine after that and I promise he has no nightmares of the procedure now at 2 1/2. Do whats best for you family though.

Awyn - posted on 07/13/2009

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i had my son circumsized at a couple weeks old... but i think if you can find a willing doc, you can have it done any time. it's more hygenic and look better...etc, etc... i'm sure you've heard that enough. one of the deciding factors for me was, honestly, dating. i've been with both, and honestly... uncut looks like a wind sock...it's not attractive at all. i have a lot of friends who won't even date an uncut man... and i don't think i ever would again. i've also read in numerous places that it's best to make your son's penis match his father's.



was a horrifying procedure, though. i watched...it was really hard not to cry... my little boy looked at me like i'd betrayed him. he cried really bad for the first time in his life that day. it looked pretty painful for the next couple days, but he didn't seem to care anymore after the first day. he's since cried more from being startled by a sneeze. if i ever have another boy, i'd have it done again.

Carrie - posted on 07/13/2009

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Quoting Mary:

I am a firm believer in circumsision. Firm and strong believer. I believe it's healthier because for them it's easier to clean and nothing like urin or gunk that causes infection gets stuck in their foreskin and they never have to pull it down. Plus I also think it looks so much better, neater and they never have to pull that skin down. I'm sure your husband is circumsized and you know what I mean. I think uncirumsized penis' are ugly in general but for me circumsision was the better option. My partner is also a firm believer in it and was circumsised at an older age so he can tell the difference and says it's much much better for him. Though our child is only nearly 5 months. We're definately not getting him circumsised until 5-7 years so the penis develops more and the foreskin is clear. Up till now I still hear stories where they still make mistakes because the baby was too young. But OF COURSE- it's your child too! You're definately entitled to say no! But research- find out what the best option for your son is. I'm a believer in circumsision and who knows! Lol maybe his wife will thank you when he's older ;-)



so in america do they wait till the age of 5? or so, i tought it could only be done when they were babies due to the pain, but if i can wait i think that would be alot better, i told my husband no not now because he doesn't help me with the kids and at the moment i could not do with a screaming baby for days on end

[deleted account]

Neither of my boys has been, my eldest is 5 years old and my youngest is 16 months old. My eldest has had no issues with not being circumsized and neither has my youngest.



I think its more of a preference now, neither of their doctors pushed for one or the other but told me the good and bad for both. I didn't feel like putting them through it. I does hurt, and I dont believe that babies cant feel pain when its done, even if its frozen it still means they have to be pricked with a needle to freeze it.



I think if your going to wait you should realize that hes going to remember it when hes older and I doubt its going to be a happy memory if you know what I mean! lol



You have every right to say no if you believe its not what you feel is right, though you still need to take dads to heart. Just talk with him and your doctor and see how you feel.

Charlie - posted on 07/12/2009

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in this crazy and hypocrytical world there are many things we accept as correct just because it has been done for years , but just because something is done , dosent nessarily mean it is right .
routine circumcisions of babies is one of those things , but it needs to be questioned by free thinking parents . in the last ten years most Australian parents have moved away from it , but still some do request to do it , i personally think it is mutilation of a perfect human body , nothing but cosmetic surgery .
of course there are those who consider it necessary as part of their religious faith and it is not up to me to question or critisize this , but when it is demanded for spurious social reasons - that is differant .
Many parents say it is more hygenic . this is true , when people were living in a desert tribe 2000 years ago . now that we have baths and showers this excuse just does not wash , unless they are firm believers of not washing either , infection is very rare .
others love to say " oh but their daddies have it done , he will feel differant " i mean really if daddy broke his nose playing football would you break your sons so they would look the same .
REALLY in a 70 year life span their is but a brief passing interest in their dads anatomical deformities , their is also the excuse of STD's , which is also a false statement , actually men who are circumsized experiance significantly less feeling in their penis and are more likely not to use a condom due to lack of sensation , with higher risk of STD.
i just find it hard to come to terms with the concept of inflicting needless pain on a child just to satisfy parental hang ups and tradition .
their is only one thing we truly own in this world and it is our OWN bodies , even babies own their own bodies and i dont believe in taking what is not yours to take . we dont mutilate little girls bodies ( well not in AUSTRALIA some places they do , why is it any differant for a boy they use the same excuses for female curcumsision )
i just think it should have been left to die out with body length swimsuits and frontal labotamies .
you do have a say in it it is your son .

Mary - posted on 07/12/2009

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I am a firm believer in circumsision. Firm and strong believer. I believe it's healthier because for them it's easier to clean and nothing like urin or gunk that causes infection gets stuck in their foreskin and they never have to pull it down. Plus I also think it looks so much better, neater and they never have to pull that skin down. I'm sure your husband is circumsized and you know what I mean. I think uncirumsized penis' are ugly in general but for me circumsision was the better option. My partner is also a firm believer in it and was circumsised at an older age so he can tell the difference and says it's much much better for him. Though our child is only nearly 5 months. We're definately not getting him circumsised until 5-7 years so the penis develops more and the foreskin is clear. Up till now I still hear stories where they still make mistakes because the baby was too young. But OF COURSE- it's your child too! You're definately entitled to say no! But research- find out what the best option for your son is. I'm a believer in circumsision and who knows! Lol maybe his wife will thank you when he's older ;-)

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