Confused and uncomfortable

Hannah - posted on 04/24/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I never thought I wanted to be a mom. I was happy in my marriage, have a good job, and family. In my early 40's I started to panic and think that there was something missing in our lives. I saw how we were not accepted as a normal couple anywhere without any kids. So My husband and I decided to try getting pregnant before I have no chance of getting pregnant due to my old age. One time we tried, and it happened. I couldn't believe it and was very excited. Then came all the symptoms of pregnancy; nausea, heartburn, swelling, being totally uncomfortable in my own body. I feel huge and I can't fit into my shoes. My husband console me says that I will be ok, but he doesn't feel what is happening to my body. People tell me this is the easy part and when the baby comes out I would want to put it right back in. How encouraging. My stomach itches and I am very emotional. I can't even put my thoughts together to write. I don't even know anyone who is pregnant at my age. I know my mom hates babies and would never babysit. I feel terrible physically and feel like I can't wait for it to be over. I still have 5 more months to go. I didn't know it was going to be so hard in every way to have a baby. I don't know if I really wanted to have a baby myself or if it was more of a peer pressure. We haven't bought anything for the baby yet because it just seems so unreal. I feel very lonely and low. I think I made a terrible mistake! I feel bad for the baby that mom is such a loser. Now I feel stuck. I feel like god is punishing me for making a lite of being a mom. Does anyone have a good advice for me? Does it ever get better? I really appreciate your input. Thank you.

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