Datting with a baby...

Kimberly - posted on 05/23/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I'm 22 and single. My daughters father is not around. how do i go about dating with out scaring a guy my age off????? most of the time if they hear i have a baby, they run like the wind!

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Angela - posted on 05/28/2009

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run as fast as you can from the bar scene! i learned that one a long time ago. a question for you, do you attend church? i know not everyone in church is the right type, but that's what i am personally looking for. if you aren't religious, take your daughter to do things you enjoy. fishing is great, one of my favorite activities. there are plenty of stores with fishing gear, with alot of men getting their own gear. you never know who you might meet. ask family and friends, only the ones you trust their judgement! a blind date might actually work out. i've tried the dating websites, most guys are just looking for a booty call, i tell them that i'm not it! my favorite advise is don't go looking for love, it will come to you. whether it's true or not, i'm stickin with it. i'm hopin and prayin that GOD will send me a perfect match for me, and i'm not settling for anything less! good luck!

Krista - posted on 05/26/2009

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I'm in the same boat. I'm 24 and my son Connor is a year and a half'; his dad is also not in the picture. For me, it's hard to date because I my life changed so much after Connor was born, He comes first and the person I date needs to know that.A man in my life right now isn't for me, but I'm not giving up hope I know that God will bring the right person for me when the time is right.



In response to your question I don't know how to not scare off men. I think it alot, will the person I decide to date be scared or not into me because I have Connor; if they are they are not the right person for me. I have decided that Connor isn't going to me anyone I date until I'm ready to take the step of committment.



Sorry to ramble on. I hope my story helps you. Good luck in the dating game.

Kimberly - posted on 05/26/2009

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Ok, so I guess the next question is where do you meet a guy like that? I've tried the bar scene and obviously that is not the right place. Any suggestions?

Angela - posted on 05/25/2009

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i have twin boys(6yrs old) and my daughter will be 1yr old on friday. their dad and i finally split for good a couple months ago after an on again, off again relationship(8 long yrs). i'm all for what everyone else has said, make sure he knows about your baby, but i wanted to say, watch out for those guys who think that just because you have a child and you are single, they think you are easy. i've had this problem everytime we've broken up. decide what you want in a man, be picky, very picky, and what you want in a relationship and don't settle for anything less! you and your daughter are worth it, don't forget that and don't let anyone else tell you different. you are just like any other woman out there dating, don't act like you have the plague or are destined to be alone forever, you will find him someday, just as i know i will find my 'him' one day. have fun, be careful and enjoy life!

Kimi - posted on 05/25/2009

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I married a guy with a child. I was very hesitant at first when he wanted to hang out and go on dates but he persisted because he really liked me. I never thought I would become a step parent but the day I knew I loved my husband was also the day I knew I wanted to be a part of his daughter's life as well. His ex has also found new love dispite having a child so it's totally reachable. My brother also just became a step dad and I have a cousin that is dateing some one and they both have kids plus one together. The right guy is out there. If you really like a guy just keep trying to get his attention and it will work out if it's meant to be. There are plenty of men that love kids and make great dads.

Kimberly - posted on 05/25/2009

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thanks for all the awesome advice! it makes me feel better to know that i'm not the only single mom out there who is unsure of the dating pool. good luck to all of you!

Holly - posted on 05/23/2009

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Hello my name is HOlly and i was in your shoes at one time ,now iam married to the man i dated for 5 yrs now and oh how i was blessed !You have to be honest about it when you first meet ,tell him you have a daughter and that she means every thing to you !!!if he is any thing like a man he will understand that . When my son was oh about 6 months i left his dad for a numers of reasons this space dont have enough space lol,any ways i didnt date rite way ,but you meet new people ,some knoew that i had a son and some didnt untill i told him ,normally i told them that nite cause if they dont like kids or had something aginst them sorry i was not the girl for them !! Inever had my son meet with in weeks ,cause that messes with the child .....but like i said now my husband of 5 years we have 2 kids of our own and he treats them all the same people that we meet now would never know that my oldest his his step son ..give it time the white horse will come soon ,dont rush it ...also after a while all 3 of you can go places you dont have to explan to her ,go to the zoo or park and never leave her alone untill you have seenhim with her and how he acts tords her when she is up set crying all nite ect ,im sure you ra smart mom ,but just go slow !!!!!good luck

Stephanie - posted on 05/23/2009

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Hi, i so agree with that. I made a list of my qualifications i would want in my next man whenever that comes, i not rushing it. I am a christian and having support from my church family has been amazing and helpful in being a single mom. My daughter's donor i call him was a mistake but my precious baby girl was not. I wish i was around more single moms for all the advice we pass and to have a friend.

Hayley - posted on 05/23/2009

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hi my name is hayley i am also a single mom and my childs father is not around either. my kid is almost 5 and i just went out on my 1st date last week. i am very picky about men anyway so thus the no dating thing in like 6years, i see no reason to date someone who can not handle kids that is because they too are still children. my child is the 1st thing i tell a guy about cause that will tell you if they are really into you. if they are worth anything they will stick around and if not bring on the frogs. good luck!

Stephanie - posted on 05/23/2009

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Hi, I am Stephanie and i also am alone with my daughter and dating is hard but i was dating someone for awhile and when we would go do something his sister or a family member would watch her. I haven't dated since so i guess if the guy really likes you he won't be scared when you say i have a baby but thats just my thought.

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