Dead Beat Daddy Alert

Ashlee - posted on 06/06/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I have 2 girls. My oldest Jordyn will be 3years old this coming Saturday, and my baby Zoe is just 1 month old. Well, Jordyn's dad hasn't seen her since Easter 2009. But all of a sudden, last year sometime maybe a little bit longer than that, he gets his new girlfriend. Now when we were together and I found out I was pregnant he didn't want her. But I decided to keep her because I wasn't going to just get an abortion because in my eyes, that isn't right. I was ready to take my responsibility head on.

For the first year of Jordyn's life until she was a little over a year old, he wanted nothing to do with her. I would have to make him spend time with her, take her for the weekends, buy her clothes, shoes, etc. Now here comes his new girlfriend, and all of a sudden, he wants to play daddy and wants to be in her life which was what I was trying to tell him BEFORE she was even born. But when I started saying he couldn't get her he wanted to get mad at me. And also on his 20th birthday, I put him on child support and he hasn't even came close to the amount he's suppose to be paying monthly.

But all of a sudden he wants to be in her life after I said no. And he's wanted to "make up" the first year now that he missed. Recently he just got a lawyer to take me to court to get partial custody of Jordyn. Doubting he'll get it because of his job hoping and all the back child support he owes. And the job he claims he has paid him $1600 a month (subtracting taxes), the child support enforcement I go through called his job, and they said he doesn't work there any longer. And he also claims that he doesn't have the money to pay child support, but can get a lawyer. Now ain't that messed up.

But in his eyes, I'm the gold digger amongst other names. Any comments??

4 Comments

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LaCi - posted on 06/08/2009

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If he wants to attempt to be in her life, even though he's been blowing it off thus far, it isnt a bad thing to let him try again. Sometimes, rarely, but sometimes people do change.

I agree that if he wants to see her and be the daddy he should help out financially, he should be paying you the child support. But I think its wrong to try to block him from being in her life if he genuinely wants to try again. People screw up, a lot. If he does take you to court, maybe arrange that he can have visitation only if he starts stepping up financially?

Natalie - posted on 06/08/2009

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Like I told you you have nothing to worry about! Guys hate it even more when they hear that someone else is being a father to their child and thats why they always want to step up! But he missed his chance! If you and your children are happy just keep doing what you are doing! Let him fade out of yours and your daughters life! Congrations on everything! I

Ashlee - posted on 06/07/2009

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My youngest daughters' father, we are about to get married sometime next year, and he has been in her life since we met. The first thing that I told him was that I have a 2 year old (we met right after her birthday), he said "Okay, and?" Like it didn't matter I had a child. Ever since then, he's been in her life as her full time dad. He never once treated her any different and that's what I love about him. Jordyn's real father kept asking my questions of the kind of person Terry is, and all I could tell him was "he's a better person at taking care of your child than you ever did". And that really shut him up. But he wants to be all big and bad and talk smack, but I would kill him before I gave him partial custody.

And today, my mom asked Jordyn who her daddy was, and she said Terry. That right there made me feel so good because she called her dad an A** Ho** to his face when she was a year old, and that should have told me then that nothing was going to get any better. And I love my daughter and I want what's best for her, and in him, I think she does, and I couldn't ask for anything more.

Natalie - posted on 06/07/2009

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It is funny how they think after not being around for so long that they can just pop up and play daddy! I am a single mother of a soon to be four year old boy and am currently expecting my second! I have raised my son on my own! I left my babyfather when I was three months pregnant with my son! He has nothing whatsoever to do with my son! But this past christmas he decided to show up and want play daddy! But you know what it comes down to! Whats best for your lil girl! I chose to do it on my own because I knew that my babyfather was nowhere near ready to be a father among other things! I dont regret it one bit! He was just my sperm donor cause I wouldnt trade in my son for the world! It is their lost not ours! We got the reward of unconditionally love that no one can take away no matter how hard they try! And that is the love that you get from your children! He really has no bases in court as long as you have any addictions or other problems that he can try to use against you! But for the last year like you said he has made no effort in trying to be a father even though he had the opportunity! He doesnt pay his child support and he has no job! So I would say that your case is really strong and I wouldnt worry too much! No child needs a part time father because it is a full time job! I totally agree with you!

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