Dentist made me feel like I'm a bad mother

Cherry - posted on 02/18/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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This is going to be a long post but please ber with me. I brought my daughter to the dentist because she has a toothache. The dentist told me that she has an abscess tooth that needs to be pulled out and she has cavities on her other teeth. He told me how could I let that happened to my daughter. I told him I never fail to brush her teeth. He wanted my daughter to go multiple dental procedures such as crowning and fillings and he said that they will put my daughter to sleep in order to do so. i told him I am scared that they will put her to sleep because I just read in the news that a 3-year-old girl died of cardiac arrest after putting her to sleep for her dental treatment. He said he knows I'm doing my own research but I should consider my daughter's teeth condition. So i told him why can't he just pull my daughter's tooth that's bothering her now; he then said that he won't do it. He said he wants to do all the treatments all at once. and they are charging me $1,900 for the procedures. He only prescribed her antibiotics. Then he took a look at my 2 year old son's teeth, he told me he's strting to have weak teeth. I told him i do brush my son's teeth regularly but it's kinda hard and I have to wrestle him all the time just to brush his teeth, he responded "I don't care what he wants or he'll end up having cavities." He asked me if I let my son sleep with a bottle, i told just with sippy cup with water then he told me why are you giving him that when he does not really need it. I am totally shocked by his words towards me. It's like I am a really bad mother. I know he's an expert but that does not give him the right to talk to me that way. I wish i would have said something, but I am 5 months pregnant and my children gets really scared everytime I lose my temper so i just kept quiet and swallowed everything he told me. but am I really a bad mother? He does not know how muh i take care of my children. i am so hurt by his words. I really feel bad right now. Thank you for reading my post. i really just need to vent this out.

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Denikka - posted on 02/19/2014

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Some children are naturally born with weaker teeth or a predisposition to tooth problems. Sometimes it doesn't matter how much you brush and floss, cavities can still happen.
Plus, you have every right to question and be nervous about any procedure that your daughter may undergo, especially with a similar story recently having such a tragic outcome.

You should be completely comfortable with your health providers. Doctor, dentist, optometrist, doesn't matter. You are putting your health into their hands. And if you're not comfortable with them, you should definitely find one that you ARE comfortable with.
He has no right to demean your parenting. If he believes you are neglecting your children's health, then he's obligated to report that to the necessary authorities. Not berate you in his office.

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