DISCIPLINE!?!?!?!?!?

Jessica - posted on 04/08/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I was just reading the post about does anyone discipline their children anymore and decided to jump into the controversal issue. I am a first time mum of an 8 month old girl who is vry cheeky and very aware of what she should and shouldn't do but as an easily bored child she enjoys pushing the boundries and doing things she shouldn't. How and when should we start disciplining her? I'm not against spanking, both my partner and I were raised this way and grew up to be very respectful of our parents and other adults. However, I'm not so keen on the use of objects other than ones hand to spank a child and would never approve of leaving a bruise.



What tactics have you used to teach your children right from wrong? At what age did you introduce 'time outs' and how did you go about that? I am open to any suggestions. Please help but please don't judge eachothers suggestions, I'm not out to cause conflict!

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Emily - posted on 04/09/2009

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Quoting Jessica:



Also I just wanted to clarify, I don't understand the term discipline as solely punishment. Discipline to me means teaching! To discipline means to instruct a child to follow a particular set of rules and teaching self-control and acceptable behavior. I was asking for advise on how to start 'teaching' my daughter to respect my word and do as she is told, that is all. I believe that discipline should start early just like any other lesson including sitting, standing, and walking. To me, and many people I know, teaching my daughter to use please and thank you is to discipline her. I will admit that I have given my daughter a very slight tap on the hand when all else has failed (I don't believe it had done her any harm) but am looking for other approaches and an idea of when I should really be looking at starting.






I just wanted to explain further because many mothers on a differnt forum where distressed by the idea that she is only 8months and I was 'punishing' her!





I didn't see this post til after I posted but I never had the impression you were punishing your baby!

Emily - posted on 04/09/2009

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Eight month olds are babies. They are not pushing boundries they don't have a concept of boundries. They are impulsive and like to explore. Remember this is the first time that she has seen and been able to climb on things. It is all so new and fun to her! I am a firm beleiver that it is never too young for discipline, though. I don't punish, though. Discipline has nothing to do with punishment. Discipline means teaching. It takes a while with a baby. They still haven't grasped language and they are impulsive. Moving freely, exercising independence, and experimentation are all crutial developmental milestones during the late baby and toddler stage! At the crawling stage you can start teaching empathy. If she hits you let her know it hurts. She won't understand the concept at first, but she will soon. Also, make it so she isn't tempted to get into things she shouldn't. Instead of sitting there yelling, "No!" all day just move teh cat food bowl where she can't get into it and scarf it all up. As she ages she will try to do things that are fun, but dangerous like climbing on the table. I don't like people standing on my table. When my daughters both started standing on the table around 10 months old it was the opportunity to teach not only about danger but about respect. After you take them down from the table enough (remember it is a new concept so it could take up to 12 times of dong the same thing over and over before she gets the hang of it) they will understand, "Hey! Mom doesn't want me up here." Even at eight months you should be telling her why you are doing what you are doing. For example, "We can't play with mommy's CDs because it will make a mess and they will break. I don't want my CDs broken so I am putting you by your toys to play with and putting my Cds on the shelf. Your bunny looks like it would be fun to play with!" It will help them learn language as well as boundries. I think it is important for a child to know why they can't do something.

Jessica - posted on 04/09/2009

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Also I just wanted to clarify, I don't understand the term discipline as solely punishment. Discipline to me means teaching! To discipline means to instruct a child to follow a particular set of rules and teaching self-control and acceptable behavior. I was asking for advise on how to start 'teaching' my daughter to respect my word and do as she is told, that is all. I believe that discipline should start early just like any other lesson including sitting, standing, and walking. To me, and many people I know, teaching my daughter to use please and thank you is to discipline her. I will admit that I have given my daughter a very slight tap on the hand when all else has failed (I don't believe it had done her any harm) but am looking for other approaches and an idea of when I should really be looking at starting.



I just wanted to explain further because many mothers on a differnt forum where distressed by the idea that she is only 8months and I was 'punishing' her!

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