Do you find yourself judging other moms? Or vice versa?

[deleted account] ( 19 moms have responded )

Tell me about what you've seen and heard when it comes to forming opinions about other women's parenting abilities and what your reaction has been.

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Nicole - posted on 09/11/2009

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All the time! It's today's society. I read a book on it ;) Women learn as young kids to compete, and as adults or mothers, we are constantly comparing ourselves and judging other mom's in a quest to be the best... It just means your a good mom, and you care!

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Chelle - posted on 09/14/2009

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I honestly only get annoyed or upset when other moms think I am doing something wrong. My mom and aunt (who adopted a baby girl who is 30 days older than my son who is 6 weeks premature btw) and my sister in law all get on me because I discipline my 15 month old. I don't let him bang toys on other peoples wooden furniture (it can leave marks) and I don't let him scream uncontrollably and he has set schedules for naps, food, and bedtime. So they all think I need to just let him run around like a wild banshee! And my aunt is always complaining about how I am "lucky" my kid is so well behaved and listens to me and then my neice is a spoiled rotten brat and gets what she wants, when she wants. She is 2 yrs old and doesn't utter a single word! No joke! She only says "UH!" loudly when she wants anything!



Then on my husbands side of the family I have a sister in law who tries to give me medical advice for my son (who happens to have asthma and severe GERD). She can't even take care of her daughter who has some major illnesses and she tries to tell me what I should or shouldn't give my kid and that I shouldn't have any more kids cuz I don't know how hard it really is to deal w/ an asthmatic child (although I have had asthma since I was 5 yrs old and she has no asthmatic children).



So, there are all my judgements and opinions and what not. It's all within family, outside of my family I think the women I am surrounded by are amazing women!

S. - posted on 09/14/2009

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i try really hard not to, but it's hard not to judge when mothers i know loose there children on a daily bases,or when mothers think it's funny there children swear all the time.
i know a few people who let there kid's get away with murder then cry that the chid is bad for them!!!!
so yes i judge i cart help myself, xx

Staci - posted on 09/13/2009

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thanks kimmie,everyone has opininions about everything nowadays,i just don't like those who feel that because they think they know better or are older that they can say it to your face...really gets at me!for example,i was 17 when i was having my eldest but in all fairness i looked about 12!my daughter had a birth defect and i was constantly being monitored by the hospital.was walking around town one day and this older woman turned to her friend and said,if she was my daughter i would have made her get rid.my mother in law went mad when she heard this and told the woman in no certain terms to get lost and told her what was wrong,the woman went the coulour of a tomato and even apologised!if you judge thats fine,but keep it to yourself.

Staci - posted on 09/13/2009

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i agree,there's always something that you won't agree with about another parent,just don't judge a book by it's cover so they say.

Staci - posted on 09/13/2009

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i'm quite easy going and know i'm not perfect,i know i'm a good mum though so it doesn't usually bother me if people judge me,what gets on my nerves is the looks my partner gets when he takes our girls out on his own.he's broad shouldered and quite big,has tattoos all down one arm and halfway down the other,has eyebrow piercind and generally lookes...different,but you'd swear he's kidnapped the girls and beats them from the looks he gets!!!he's a brilliant dad and loves our girls.he takes it to heart when he sees people staring and i hate it!!!sorry,rant over with now!!!

Gemma - posted on 09/12/2009

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I am a stay at home mum and not perfect but I try my best. What really makes me mad is when I see a baby or toddler in hot sun without a hat on or canopy over the pram. In the winter last year I saw several small babies with no socks or blanket in the pram and no hat. Children need to be dressed for the weather a hat is needed most of the year either a sun hat or a winter hat.

Anna - posted on 09/12/2009

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I try not to because I think most people try to be good parents but I do think there is a lot of bad information out there and plenty of it is actually given out by health professionals and people we are supposed to be able to trust. There are some things that really bother me. I don't know if I'm being judgmental but it does make me sad when people leave their tiny little babies in daycare to go back to work. I know some people financially have no choice and that women should have a right to earn their own money etc but I can't help but thinking what's the point of having a baby if you don't spend any time with it? Another thing is people who leave their babies to cry - i think that is so mean and damaging to the child but there are actually doctors telling people to do it, despite all the studies that say it's a terrible thing to do. I don't like it when people hit their kids. Ok, to be honest, there are plenty of things I don't like about other people's parenting skills!

Octavia - posted on 09/12/2009

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I think the thing I have to hardest time with is moms who smoke around their kids. It drives me nuts, it is one thing to smoke, its another to smoke by your child. Also I find that I am constantly thinking to myself that I would have handled situations of discipline differently. I think I would be stricter to some degree.

Jennifer - posted on 09/11/2009

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i am not going to say that i dont judge because i do, i try not to but sometimes i just cant help it. every mom thinks that there way is the right way. example. some people spank, some do timeout, and somepeople spank with a belt. everyone is different with my two year old timeouts dont work so a light swat if she is doing something that can hurt herself isnt bad to me but i also know someone who spanks there 24 month old with a belt which i belive is on the verge of abuse. the way i think of it is if i am judgeing them then they are probably judgeing me also. everyone is different but who is to say that anything we do is the right way

Jennifer - posted on 09/11/2009

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if must know i am i upset with lady across the street from me! how in the world can you not know that your 2 year old is missing for long periods of time. which has happen with two of her children. one of them was at my mother in laws house and she tried to bring him back and she wouldn't answer the door so she called the police and when they came she answered the door in her underwear. and the year before her daughter who was like 3 was wondering down the road in the rain and my other neighbor brought her back! i can understand and child getting out when your back is turned and run around like crazy trying to find them, but all the time and not bothering to look for them come on!!

Katarina - posted on 09/11/2009

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3 under 5,wow! I'm not perfect by any means. Once or twice a week is fine to go out and unwind but this mom does it almost on a daily/nightly basis and then posts on Facebook how much her life sucks and how she isn't allowed to do anything, she bleeds her life on facebook with every marital fight or when Dad has to work late and she can't go out. There is a big difference between going out to wind down.

[deleted account]

BUT in my defense... I have 3 under 5 lol so when I get the chance (which is weekends.. mainly just sat.) I run for the hills! I try not to judge other moms only because I know i am far from perfect.

[deleted account]

Quoting Katarina:

I have a friend of mine that has little to no parenting abilities. She's home during the day with her little one but always pawns her off to go shopping or out with friends. On the weekends she parties,drinks and gets high. I think she's a mother in need of some counselling classes and a kick in the behind. I'm very opionated myself when it comes to her parenting or lack there of. I have NEVER told her that she needs help but i have spoken to her Boyfriend and my Fiance.(Her BF is my Fiance's best friend). I don't want to ruin any relationships and am not sure if it is my place to say anything to her.


So this basically fits me too a T! except the gettin high and pawning my kids off! hmmm.... now im judging myself.... :/

Michelle - posted on 09/11/2009

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I think almost everyone judges people at times! I would be fibbing if I said I've never done it! But most of the time it's in cases where the child is dirty or something like that. I try not to judge unless I know the situation. If someone asks for advice about something, I'll tell them what I would do in the situation or what I have done in the situation.

Katarina - posted on 09/11/2009

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I have a friend of mine that has little to no parenting abilities. She's home during the day with her little one but always pawns her off to go shopping or out with friends. On the weekends she parties,drinks and gets high. I think she's a mother in need of some counselling classes and a kick in the behind. I'm very opionated myself when it comes to her parenting or lack there of. I have NEVER told her that she needs help but i have spoken to her Boyfriend and my Fiance.(Her BF is my Fiance's best friend). I don't want to ruin any relationships and am not sure if it is my place to say anything to her.

Heather - posted on 09/11/2009

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Oh geez...when it comes to most of the moms I've known since my son was born, we usually talk about where they are (developing) what they are eating, ect. And I always seem to hear "well 'I' do this" and "oh 'I' wouldn't have done that" seems like everyone else seems to know more. (even though they are all first time moms as well...only a few months older than mine) It gets old.

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